Thanks once again for all your kind posts and wonderful words, it means so much, even though they bring a tear to my eye.
We have had a good day today, a positive but busy day, i go for accupuncture once a week for my back and today i arranged for the lady to give my OH a massage to help relax him a wee bit, it worked and was also nice to watch, he has his moments, of feeling very scared but lots of hugs and whispers in his ear are working wonders.
The plans for the wedding are going ok, told everyone i.e family, the registar was shut today so hopefully we will get it booked tomorrow, the only person that hates the idea of pjs for the wedding is my mother, everyone else has given it the thumbs up, we have changed it to nightwear, in tartan.
I have spent alot of time on the phone today, letting folk now which is very hard, its all very surreal at the moment, cant really belief this is happening, its not until i sit or lay down it hits me like a sledge hammer, not a very nice feeling.
On the whole im doing ok, on the outside anyhow (if that makes sense) feel like im crying and torn apart inside, but i want to keep strong for him, i have all the time in the world next week when he is in hospital to cry, and sit and think, i enjoying having time with him, at the moment savouring every moment.
Im dreading next week when he is not here, i fill up when i think about it, it feels me full of alsorts of awful scary thoughs, but i have got the week end to mentally prepare for it, one day at a time, even one hour at a time if i need to.
God im scared
My animals are being amazing as always, they give me a sense of normality, which i think will help and get me through,
Theses flowers are for you all
