Smallholders Insurance from Greenlands

Author Topic: Need to vent!  (Read 1366 times)

Shropshirelass

  • Joined Jul 2012
  • South Shropshire
  • A country lass who loves it all!
Need to vent!
« on: December 27, 2019, 09:06:29 am »
Sorry about this guys but just needed to vent - Why do people always feel the need to put their two-peneth in? I asked my brothers advice as his gfs in insurance just a query on a new vehicle & then he chimes in about tax being higher on the new 4x4 than my current vehicle, its the same & the insurance is roughly the same as my old 1 & then has the cheek to question how I'd afford it. Sorry but the fact that its none of his business & its around the same costs as my old vehicle anyway shouldn't be a problem but what a cheek.

This is coming off my brother who has not needed to but has bought his 2nd house in a space of a couple of years, bought another dog & car in the past year & is paying for a wedding & goes on holiday around 5-6 times a year.

SallyintNorth

  • Joined Feb 2011
  • Cornwall
  • Rarely short of an opinion but I mean well
Re: Need to vent!
« Reply #1 on: December 27, 2019, 09:53:23 am »
 :hug:

Christmas and family  :stir: :censored:  :roflanim:

Our family never seems to lose the ability to push our buttons, do they?! 

We do a lot of work on, and have a lot of help with interpersonal relationships here - living with 20+ other people is great, but can also be difficult! - and one of the truisms has helped me no end with my ma. 

When confronted with someone being unreasonable, know that it’s not about you, it’s about some unmet need in themselves.  The mantra is, “It’s a tragic expression of an unmet need”, and I say it to myself under my breath when Mum is pushing my buttons.  It helps me find my compassion for her in her sorrow, and know that she’s just venting it the only way she knows how.  The words coming out if her mouth are irrelevant, and I don’t need to take them personally.

I’m nowhere near 100% resilient, but it really has helped :)
Don't listen to the money men - they know the price of everything and the value of nothing

Live in a cohousing community with small farm for our own use.  Dairy cow, beef cattle, pigs, sheep for meat and fleece, ducks and hens for eggs, veg and fruit growing

doganjo

  • Joined Aug 2012
  • Clackmannanshire
  • Qui? Moi?
    • ABERDON GUNDOGS for work and show
    • Facebook
Re: Need to vent!
« Reply #2 on: December 27, 2019, 01:35:13 pm »
Oh I just argue back and vent my own feelings  :innocent:  Then I feel better  :eyelashes:   :roflanim:
Always have been, always will be, a WYSIWYG - black is black, white is white - no grey in my life! But I'm mellowing in my old age

Womble

  • Joined Mar 2009
  • Stirlingshire, Central Scotland
Re: Need to vent!
« Reply #3 on: December 27, 2019, 02:30:05 pm »
"All fungi are edible. Some fungi are only edible once." -Terry Pratchett

Fleecewife

  • Joined May 2010
  • South Lanarkshire
    • Wester Gladstone Hebridean Sheep
Re: Need to vent!
« Reply #4 on: December 27, 2019, 04:33:39 pm »
"A country lass who loves it all"


Your brother is trying to show what a success he is and how superior to you he is.  Typical sibling rivalry.  But YOU know that you have what you want.  You don't want that sort of material show, you have the life you need and love.  You will eventually come to see your brother is being a right plonker, and you can look pitying and superior  :thumbsup:   :celebrate:



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doganjo

  • Joined Aug 2012
  • Clackmannanshire
  • Qui? Moi?
    • ABERDON GUNDOGS for work and show
    • Facebook
Re: Need to vent!
« Reply #5 on: December 27, 2019, 05:07:17 pm »
Maybe it's with you being different sexes? 

My sister and I fought like cats till we both got married. Now we're the best of pals. 

She and her husband have loads of money, but he has it all locked away in investments and they only run one car.  He says they don't need a second one and admittedly she has the car almost any time she wants it.  He's a lovely man, and i look on him as my own brother, but he's tight as a drum.  :roflanim:   They can't go abroad due to his having a health condition, and he is in and out of clinics and hospitals a lot.

Their house cost less than mine but they have done much the same improvements as I'm doing to mine now, and they are both very, very supportive; and interested in what I'm doing

When they die their two boys are going to get a HUGE windfall, they are lovely boys too and their families, and I don't envy any of them a thing.  My kids won't get anything like that.  I don't think it bothers them either.

All I would have liked is that one of my two wonderful husbands had survived to enjoy old age with me.

So just let him have his money - you have much more.  You have US!!!  :excited: :excited:

Always have been, always will be, a WYSIWYG - black is black, white is white - no grey in my life! But I'm mellowing in my old age

Womble

  • Joined Mar 2009
  • Stirlingshire, Central Scotland
Re: Need to vent!
« Reply #6 on: December 27, 2019, 05:39:37 pm »
you have much more.  You have US!!!  :excited: :excited:


Oh wow.  :roflanim:
"All fungi are edible. Some fungi are only edible once." -Terry Pratchett

harmony

  • Joined Feb 2012
Re: Need to vent!
« Reply #7 on: December 27, 2019, 05:45:06 pm »
Said in the spirit of the season but why get wound up? If you know you can afford it and you are comfortable with your life, why does it bother you?  Reading your last paragraph you sound like maybe you are not as happy as you think?

Rupert the bear

  • Joined Jun 2015
Re: Need to vent!
« Reply #8 on: December 27, 2019, 05:46:14 pm »
Sometimes strangers   goats/cats/dogs are the best folk to know , no preconceptions ,non-judgemental and no green eyed monster syndrome .
Lucky I have no close family well apart from my lovely/ long suffering  wife

Womble

  • Joined Mar 2009
  • Stirlingshire, Central Scotland
Re: Need to vent!
« Reply #9 on: December 27, 2019, 10:51:05 pm »
Said in the spirit of the season but why get wound up? (......) you sound like maybe you are not as happy as you think?


It's not happy or unhappy. It's offering more / different advice than what was sought, and giving an implicit judgement with it.


The other day a group of us were out for dinner and after a couple of bottles of wine, we got a little bit loud. A bloke at the table next to us turned round and tore a strip off me, and when I apologised, thought I was being sarcastic and got really angry. I was really upset that somebody could think that poorly of me.

Bear in mind, this was just a grumpy old man with his grumpy old friends. I've never seen him before, he knows nothing about me, and I'll never see him again. If a stranger can have such a big effect, no wonder family members can.

"All fungi are edible. Some fungi are only edible once." -Terry Pratchett

harmony

  • Joined Feb 2012
Re: Need to vent!
« Reply #10 on: December 28, 2019, 02:07:07 pm »
Said in the spirit of the season but why get wound up? (......) you sound like maybe you are not as happy as you think?


It's not happy or unhappy. It's offering more / different advice than what was sought, and giving an implicit judgement with it.


The other day a group of us were out for dinner and after a couple of bottles of wine, we got a little bit loud. A bloke at the table next to us turned round and tore a strip off me, and when I apologised, thought I was being sarcastic and got really angry. I was really upset that somebody could think that poorly of me.

Bear in mind, this was just a grumpy old man with his grumpy old friends. I've never seen him before, he knows nothing about me, and I'll never see him again. If a stranger can have such a big effect, no wonder family members can.



Exactly. We all "hear" things differently, "read" things differently, interpret differently. We don't know the OP or their family. We didn't hear the conversation. Most replies on here have made assumptions around the original post.  People have made judgements against the OP brother in their replies. Maybe his question was one of concern? I don't know. We don't know. I just looked at it differently.

Shropshirelass

  • Joined Jul 2012
  • South Shropshire
  • A country lass who loves it all!
Re: Need to vent!
« Reply #11 on: December 28, 2019, 10:35:14 pm »
I do feel better after venting & thanks for the comments, normally me & my brother get on but him & his GF just always likes to think they know best on things, which just winds me up sometimes.

pgkevet

  • Joined Jul 2011
Re: Need to vent!
« Reply #12 on: December 29, 2019, 03:26:18 pm »
This link will explain why you are wrong:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS37SNYjg8w

pgk

pharnorth

  • Joined Nov 2013
  • Cambridgeshire
Re: Need to vent!
« Reply #13 on: December 29, 2019, 04:02:36 pm »
Thanks @pgkevet  :roflanim: 

However much you love your siblings you all start off equal but later in life with different life choices or just luck there can be a sizeable disparity.  My brother passed away in his late 50s.  Though he was hard up I didn't appreciate how tough it had been until I had to deal with the estate (some capital in his house but zero cash).  I can't say I laid it on thick but in retrospective some suggestions I made were definitely inappropriate because I was not really understanding his situation. Yup amd ai always think I know best on things, though to be fair so did he. You come across as having a great deal of affection for your brother @Shropshirelass

DavidandCollette

  • Joined Dec 2012
Re: Need to vent!
« Reply #14 on: January 02, 2020, 05:59:13 pm »
Sma thing here. We moved to Scotland three months ago, brother in law took the huff, refused to help with the mother in law. I told him what I thought of him  :coat: world war three erupted. My son says its "too far" whilst arranging his holiday in Cornwall.
Still, we ended up with the mother in law for Christmas dinner.
I wanted a turkey  :roflanim:

 

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