[rorsa]

Thanks to everyone for their kind and helpful comments. As the days have passed the memory has faded somewhat and I have taken comfort from the fact that however stressful the last few minutes were, I gave my pigs a fantastic life. I have the meat back which looks beautiful and will undoubtedly be the best pork I have ever had. Hopefully next time will be a little easier, I think I may have just been a bit unlucky. Having thought a lot about the alternatives I realised that the only alternative would be to become a vegetarian. Anything else would just be rank hypocrisy as my pigs had a better life and death than anything I can buy. If anything, this has made me realise that the only right thing to do is to only eat those animals that I have raised myself. I will also try some of the ideas that others have suggested. It is good to know that there are so many people out there who understand.