[sabrina]

I like that idea as she does plenty when she is here and I quite often give her some money before going home. I could keep a little notebook with the hours she does and what she earns. That way it can be shown to whoever starts on about the cost of the pony etc. Knew talking to you lot would help. Thanks for all your input 

[Welshcob]

You could explain to them that she is actually paying for the pony by doing jobs for you. If you pay £500 for example then at £5/hr she would own the pony after 100 hrs work, even if it took years to pay off. The other children could possibly have a 'share' if they were willing to help with jobs aswell?

It sounds very sensible advice to me too. 
And, on the plus side if any of the other grandchildren/daughters in law complain that Emma gets more, you can always say that the pony can be "earned" with goodwill and efforts. A few hours mucking out will show them that riding ponies is not just jumping on after somebody prepared it for you and then go off play football leaving the poor beast to somebody else to clean/water/feed. This will tell you who really likes them and who doesn't.

I also have lots of experience with horses and I am not so comfortable with the idea of buying a foal for a 12-y old girl though. Your Emma sounds lovely and very committed and I am sure that with your experience you'd never leave her to decide on her own on big matters, however I still think an older one (just backed, as was suggested) would be best in this situation. Emma might get bored of waiting for the pony to be adult to ride - I know from personal experience 

In Italy it is said "old horse to young rider"

[FiB]

However, in terms of fairness - some people think 'fairness' means treating everyone the same, some think it means treating everyone according to their needs.  I used to think the former and as I've grown older and I hope wiser, have leaned more and more towards the latter.

Know nothing about horses, but couldnt agree more with Sally re treating children equally/Fairly not being about treating them the same - You sound like the best grandma    and I'm sure you give all your grandchildren the love and 'stuff' that they need as individuals, be that attention, wisdom, ponies....  Hope you can find the right pony

[ppd]

Hi Sabrina
Like you I didn't own my own horse until I was in my 20s and would have given up everything as a child to have one - I know that my parents A - could not afford one and B - did not have the knowledge to keep one and C - didn't want to give up their time to take me to local stables to 'work' for lessons!
I sold my horse and first marriage broke up, but although money was tight I sent my eldest daughter to riding lessons, but she lost interset. My younger daughter was not really that bothered about riding, so that was fine. Have remarried many years later and now have a 7 year old daughter, who has ponies (now I must admit I have encouraged her lots!), but she is really keen and I really want her to have the chance to do the things that I never did....like to build that 'special bond with your pony when you are growing up' A friend of mine was just saying the other day that when she had a pony as a child she could tell her pony anything and it always made things seem better. when I see my daughter hug her pony my heart just melts and I am sure that they share something that even I can not be part of!
In terms of fairness I agree with many about it is about what you give to each individual and a great idea to work for the cost of the pony.
I LOVE highlands and a friend of mine has a cross which does a very good dressage test (only thing is some judges seem to 'switch off' when they come into the arena 
I hope it works out for you and your Grandaughter 

[Herdygirl]

Hi Sabrina

i read your posts and i remembered being the 'left out' child who would muck out stables for weeks just to lead a pony home.

i also agree with other posters that a foal will take a bit long to mature for Emma, why not a 2 year old? You will know the right pony.  Only a year to bond, then light training (with your help).  believe me the other grandchildren won't be bothered  and as people have said, she works to pay for the ponies keep.

You are her grandma and as such you are at an age that you make your own decisions, despite what other family members say. you have climbed mountains without them and this is a small hill in comparison.

i wish you and Emma all the best and look forward to picutres of them both 

[sabrina]

Emma is keen to have  foal as this is what I did , at the moment she has Teka so a youngster would be show in hand. The one and only time that we bought a 5 year old Irish Sport Horse turn out to be the most exspensive mistake I ever made. he was so screwed up and took me 2 years to get him hacking out without having a nervous break down. when we tried him he was perfect, nothing showed up to suggest he was drugged but my vet later told me that with holding water is a trick often used these days to make horses look calm. All my other horses I either bred or bought as foals and produce them myself. show jumping, dressage and cross country. The rewards are wonderful, you know just what you have, nothing bad has happened. its like having a blank canvas. Emma is in no hurry, she has the gift with aniamls that so few have. Most want to be doing stuff right away. At the moment we are still at the talking stage.

[Goldcraig]

For what it's worth, here's my two bob....
 
I think anything that can be done to encourage, empower and bring on youngsters these days has to be admired and commended....
Look at it this way, if you were a football coach, you'd help the boys...a beauty therapist, the other girls. but your not....you have a wealth of experience with horses and a youngster that is bursting to learn...so what's the issue???
 
I look on it that I am (thankfully, and by the grace of God) lucky enough to be able to support my two daughters (9 and 17) and their Mum (no comment xx ) in their pursuit of owning and caring for horses....however....they work for everything they have. They and they alone are responsible for mucking out, grooming, feeding etc. which is made easier as we have our own stables... they also have to do other jobs around the farm and they all get stuck in. I also include school report cards, general behaviour and of course level of cheek aimed at me and their Mother as an indicator of when they can buy something off the wishlist...my kids are by no means "spoiled"..far from it. They have a work ethic installed..lol
 
So, what I'm really trying to say is it would be a travesty not to do all you can, for both of you as you know you'll love it  , especially if as you say...other things in her wee life are not so good. Balance...you'll get your reward in heaven, plus you'll also glow with pride as you watch her grow into a mature, thoughtfull and hard working young lady.....
 

[sabrina]

Thanks for that. there are so many foals coming up for sale dirt cheap but rather dodgy breeding. People still putting mares in foal with no thought of their future. Highlands are still holding their price and I have been in touch with a first class breeder not that far from me who I have seen around the local shows for years. He has a good name, knows his stuff and is fussy who gets his animals. I have talked to him about Emma and what our plan is and we are welcome to visit his ponies. he runs his foals on but now and again will sell one to the right home. I am due my 5 year  cancer checkup in January all being well I then get discharged and go down to one checkup a year. Then we will go ahead.

[Sylvia]

Sabrina, we have eleven grandchildren. Some are interested in showing dogs, some are interested in dogs and some are either not bothered or too young. My criterion is, if one wants a puppy, they have to be six years old, can clean up after the dogs with both plastic bag and bucket and shovel, go with me to at least ten shows (experiencing the boredom as well as the thrills) and have a suitable temerament i.e. NO tantrums, hissy fits etc.
If they can do all this then I will breed/buy them their choice of puppy and help them with training and exhibiting.
I have never had any jealousy or shouts of unfairness. If the others have their interests I will undertake to help them too inasmuch as I can if their parents can't.
So, don't worry about the other five, their time will come. You love and care about them, they'll remember that