I did arl's butchery course precisely because I felt daunted by having to tell the butcher what I wanted.
But each butcher is different in what input they want and what different things they'll do for you so it's pretty hard for us to give you a list for your butcher.
Most butchers will give you a sensible selection of joints, chops, steaks, etc, if you tell them what sort of size joints you want either in terms of weight of joint or number of people to feed. I like biggish joints so usually have two or three off a shoulder and three off a leg. Having been on arl's course I now have all my belly flat for making stuffed rolled joints. I usually now take some of the meat off one of the shoulders to add into the sausagemeat then roll the remaining shoulder meat.
We like bacon / gammon more than pork, so we have most of the loin and collar, some of the leg and maybe some of a shoulder to cure. Our butcher will (on sufferance) cure bacon for us, but prefers us to take any other meat for curing away and do it at home, because of the time it takes and having to keep it seperate from the stuff for the shop.
All spare meat and maybe a bit of shoulder into the sausagemeat. I have some of my sausagemeat as sausagemeat for making stuffing and some as sausages.
Hope that's of some help!