A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door
> neighbor's dog, which has been in the backyard barking for hours.
> The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this",
> and goes downstairs.
>
> When she finally comes back to bed, her husband says, "The dog is
> still barking, what have you been doing?"
>
> The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard...let's see how THEY like it!"
>
> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
> Lynn and Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity
> House. Lynn was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail
> pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.
>
> Judy - figuring this was worth looking into - asked, 'Why are you throwing
> those nails away?' Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch,
> about half of them have the head on the wrong end so I throw them away.'
>
> Completely upset Judy yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't defective...
> they're for the other side of the house!'
>
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
> Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
>
> They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'
>
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
> You might have to think twice about this one..NOT:
>
> A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her
> index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor
> asked.
>
> 'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.
>
> 'What?' sputtered the doctor, you tried to commit suicide by shooting off
> your finger?'
>
> 'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, and then I
> thought, 'I just paid $6, 000 for these implants. I'm not shooting myself in
> the chest.'
>
> 'So then?' asked the doctor.
>
> 'Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3,000
> to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'
>
> 'So then?'
>
> 'Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought, this is going to make a very
> loud noise, so I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the Trigger.
>
> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
> A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
> hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to
> a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided
> to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really
> hard, and all the dents would pop out.
>
> So the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees, and started
> blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened, so she blew a little harder,
> and still nothing happened.
>
> Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, 'What are you doing?' The first
> blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail
> pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes
> and said, 'Uh, like h-e-l-l-o! You need to roll up the windows first!!'
>
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
> A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos.
> She was quite fascinated by it, picked it up, and took it to the clerk to ask
> what it was.
>
> The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos....it keeps hot things hot, and cold
> things cold.'
>
> 'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing. I'm going to buy it!' So she
> bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.
>
> Her boss saw it on her desk and asked, 'What's that?'
>
> 'Why, that's a thermos...it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,'
> she replied.
>
> Her boss inquired, 'So what do you have in it?'
>
> The blond replied, 'Two popsicles and some coffee.'
Topic: More blonde jokes... (Read 3492 times)
