[shetlandpaul]

thats one of there main arguments against statementing. thats how they tried it on with my daughter. i am afraid you must treat the ed psych as an opponent.  you best bet is to get a specialist consultant in child development. they will test for lots of things and refer to others you really need this stuff before going near the education department. they will tell you that they will not except the reports because they did not do them. however its proof that the school needs.

try and study the rules related to statementing you will need to know them. even if they refuse the statement you have the right to appeal.

your child could have one of many conditions it does sound like the dyslexia/ dyspraxia. is you child clumsy or have they a particular difficulty at school. until their condition is sorted they will not have the greatest school life. do not except that they are as bad as they claim their condition is hiding there true level.

[MiriMaran]

He doesn't have dyslexia as he is way ahead in his reading and on target with his maths.  He's clumsy in that he is always in such a hurry to do things, but he is not uncoordinated.  He is very able, but too quick and sharp in his movements so often knocks drinks over which drives my husband nuts!!

[Fluffywelshsheep]

I know it might seem a bit like hitting your head agaisnt a brick wall but you need to keep on at each teacher that you come in to contact .
Let us know what you do/happens.
Linz

[shetlandpaul]

He doesn't have dyslexia as he is way ahead in his reading and on target with his maths.  He's clumsy in that he is always in such a hurry to do things, but he is not uncoordinated.  He is very able, but too quick and sharp in his movements so often knocks drinks over which drives my husband nuts!!

there are lots of diffrent things it could be but dyslexia comes in many forms. mine is to do with memory. i was always good at reading and the kids are very good at maths. now when it comes to algebra then my brain stops working.

anyway have a good Christmas and try not to get worked up about it your son will pick up on it.

[Hardfeather]

I have great faith in a good homeopath in our area. We have both our boys registered with her, and we ask her opinion on most things before even considering a GP.

She gives each of her clients an initial 90 minute consultation, during which she builds a definitive profile for her records. With the kids, she asked us all sorts of questions, such as their dietery preferences, their personalities, how they react to certain stimuli in their environments, and many other searching questions. All this information helps her to prescribe various remedies as the need arises.

From an holistic point of view, I believe homoepathy is beneficial in many cases.

[HappyHippy]

  I am 100% certain that Harry is not on the Autism Spectrum, but didn't know if this unit helped with ADHD e.t.c.

I thought the same about Kaitin Miri, no way she could be autistic - she loves cuddles and has no problems communicating. I just ruled it out, but with the ADHD there were some things that just didn't apply to her and some that did.
It wasn't until one of the teachers mentioned high functioning autism and told me she was convinced that Kaitlin was showing some of the classic symptoms (she's had a lot of experience with autism) that I looked into it more. 91 people in every 10,000 have autism, of this number 20 have what i would call 'classic' autism - difficulty communicating, dislike of touch etc and will need considerable help and support all through their lives. The other 71 have 'an autistic spectrum disorder' aspergers, high level autism etc they are able to live relatively 'normal' lives, without supervised care etc.
High level autism / aspergers (don't think they're exactly the same thing, but similar ?) kids do tend to be intellegent, they excel at whatever sparks their intrest but tend to flit from activity to activity causing disruption when they're not interested. They are awkward in social situations and don't always repond appropriately to others - no respect of personal space, saying something that may offend etc. I got a few books out the library and they made for really interesting reading - so many things that just described Kaitlin to a T. Like Harry, Kaitlin's smart (too smart !) not clumsy, but always in a rush which leads to lots of spilled juice (just like Harry lol!) and just generally seems 'out of her depth' at school or with large groups of kids, at home or on a one to one basis she's fine.
In my area it's 2 seperate departments that deal with ADHD and autistic spectrum disorders, it might be worth asking for a referall to both - maybe like Kaitlin, Harry's going to be one of these 'complex' cases, with bits and pieces of lots of things going on - TELL me about it I hear you say There is an assesment tool they used - it's called a BOXALL profile (you can get it by googling) maybe it's worth having a go at filling it out yourself for Harry and see what you think. It doesn't make the easiest of reading but it might give you a clearer idea of what's going on.
It's a long, hard fight at times to get anywhere and quite often banging my head against the wall seems like a more appealing option - but I'm hoping it'll all be worth it in the end.
Good luck and remember we're all here for you when you're feeling down 

[Sylvia]

It may be some help to know that our younger son was just the same when very young. I wanted to escape with him to a remote island or somewhere where we didn't have to put up with other parents and their nasty remarks or the other parents children who were just echoing the adults thoughts.
He is now a calm and responsible father of two with a good job and a solid outlook on life. He is also very patient with his children, one of whom is just like he was but growing out of it already.
Be strong, be patient, poke the other parents in the eye!!!!
Love and good wishes to you all.

[little blue]

  Have you heard of the Ronnie or Robbie Mcsomething at Derby City Hospital

Hmm, think he's on my Christmas card list!!  I'll have to think about that one, not as if its a common name!!
(Bless you, Im only kidding  x)

[marigold]

Hello - don't know how i managed to miss this whole conversation but i've just caught up. I really feel for your anxiety. From all you say it really sounds as though Harry is a bright intelligent energetic little boy and it may just be that a combination of this aggressive boy at school as well as a teacher that is not being proactive about challenging and stretching his abilities is at fault. I would be hesitant about getting listed with an ed psych until all other possibilities are exhausted. I work for an education dept in a council and it worries me the way records follow an individual through their schooling and beyond. My eldest daughter has a diagnosis of dyslexia  but even that is open to misinterpretation. Recently an assessor at college poo pooed her dyslexia and said that was all a result of emotional disturbance. You can imagine how that can knock the confidence of a young woman. Is there anyway you can use off line resources to support Harry? Aenusog's suggestion of a homeopath would be a route i would look into. Perhaps a private ed psych if you can afford it?
Our academic school system is designed to deal with 30% of the pupils ideally and anyone on either end of the spectrum  are just expected to survive. don't forget that schools targets allow for 15% of pupils to fail and the schools still suceed. That is just not good enough for the 15 % of children who can's slow down enough to tolerate boring worksheets or who are not quick enough to keep up
If the school doesn't have an appropriate answer for harry - another local school might or maybe the solution is outside school?  some sort of engaging outdoor pursuit that he becomes more engaged with so the social school stuff loses its potency?
When Ella was having a particularly tough time we got her involved with tai kick boxing. It was amazing, she was so physically tired that she calmed down and also the discipline of the martial art taught her how to use and control her anger. She was dedicated for about 2 years.

[MiriMaran]

Thanks everybody for your help.  HH, I'll try that Boxall profile and see what happens and let you know.

Marigold, he's in the best local school there is!  Harry does rugby.  Infact, he had played for 2 hours before the first party he went to and was still uncontrolable!

Now that its the holidays I'm feeling a bit more relaxed although going round Chatsworth was hard work - don't touch, come here, slow down e.t.c.  We went through the house to look at the decorations in 20 mins and that was twice through the house!!  The good thing about Harry is that I get to the stage when I am just about to throttle him and he'll do or say something hilarious and all the anger/frustration just disappears.  He know how to play me!

[little blue]

  He know how to play me!

There is that as well !
He's a great little chap, just with boundless energy and a mischievious streak right through him!
I dont think for a minute he's on the autistic spectrum, I think theres other things to look at before finding a label like that. (I wont give you a list now!)
Hows your puppy getting on in this snow? Bet its up to his middle and beyond....

[MiriMaran]

HH, Ive had a look at the Boxall profile and I don't think I can answer the questions - its for his teacher really.  I may print it off and ask her to fill it in.

I've taken a couple of photos of the dogs in the snow and will get round to putting them on here at some point.

[marigold]

Thanks everybody for your help.  HH, I'll try that Boxall profile and see what happens and let you know.

Marigold, he's in the best local school there is!  Harry does rugby.  Infact, he had played for 2 hours before the first party he went to and was still uncontrolable!

Now that its the holidays I'm feeling a bit more relaxed although going round Chatsworth was hard work - don't touch, come here, slow down e.t.c.  We went through the house to look at the decorations in 20 mins and that was twice through the house!!  The good thing about Harry is that I get to the stage when I am just about to throttle him and he'll do or say something hilarious and all the anger/frustration just disappears.  He know how to play me!

Hi again
You know Harry better than anyone and your instincts will be a better guide than anything. It is easy for me to expound on my experiences when my kids have got through the hellish bits (for now). I guess that i was just trying to share my concerns about the whole labelling thing and offer some ideas. I wish that i had more faith in the support services. Maybe you will meet some good guys. They must be out there somewhere.
The main thing that i have come to recognise as my kids and my friends kids have grown up is that the ones who looked like they were heading for big trouble have turned out to me model citizens and intelligent successful young people and some of the model children have totally shocked their parents and done something completely unexpected. Harry is really lucky to have you rooting for him even if you age considerably on the way.
Best wishes

[sandy]

Hi, I read your post and was replying just as Isaly went to have her pups, then we were very preoccupied. No majic solutions for Harry but after working with loads of children like this its a hard thing but not all schools play the game. I went to one School where they had an area in the playground where children stood if they were on thier own, other children had to enclude them in thier play, I loved that idea but, like all of us humans, take a look around at people, some love being in crowds and have loads of friends, some like a few friends, some like one special friend and some love to be alone! It's only us parents that want them to mix and have loads of friends etc, your little boy may be far more intellegent and function more like an adult mentaly and he may not be able to tolerate others being "silly" . I would also pursue the Educational Psychologist to keep a check but, encourage interaction wiht pets, get him to help take care of things, even a goldfish, you may find he is happy in his own world. Just imajine as an adult, being stuck all day with a room full of people you just dont have any interest in!!! He will grow up to be himself nomatter what!!!

[MiriMaran]

Thanks.  Although, as yet I don't have any experience with the school with this type of stuff, the school does seem to be good.  In the playground they have a buddy system where younger children can pair up with an older one if they find the playground difficult.  My friend who has a bot with Aspergers says the school have organised a 'circle of friends' who help Wilf to remember things, go to where he is supposed to and keep and eye on him and help him if he is having problems - he has responded really well to it and the children get a sense of responsibility.

The Ed Psych is supposed to be brilliant, but the Clinical Psychologists vary apparently.  I'm afraid Marigold, Harry is the silly one - he's the class clown and a natural performer, but does it at inappropriate times!  However, he sang beautifully when I popped in to see an elderly couple today who I garden for.  Without any prompting he wanted to give them a Christmas perfomance!  Very sweet!

Oliver has a pet hamster, but I'm really nervous about getting Harry one, although he is desperate.  He is unintentiponally cruel to animals.  He used ot have a rat and i caught him swinging it around his head by its tail.  He found a frog one day and after loving it and kissing it he said "Frog wants to fly" and before I could say anything had lobbed it into the air as high as he could!  The stories go on!  I would be so worried if he had a hamster that it wouldn't survive a week.