I am only just able to listen to 'the Living Years' 6 years after losing my dad, so many things were left unsaid, the end was sudden, 8pm - call by paramedics, got over there, to hospital with him, called family, he seemed to stabilise so they sent us home about 2am, called back 4am - too late. I still cry, we'd waved goodbye expecting to see him again. crying now, I still miss him and wish I'd answered the questions he's asked a few days before, something family-wise I'd never talked about but he knew there wa a problem, and he'd wanted to talk about something I didn't want to hear so I'd changed the subject, how I wish I'd let him get it off his chest.
I know you've made your mind up but if it's not too much of a problem I would go, on my own maybe, you can't be sure of what went on in the background, 2nd wife may have objected? you may remind him too much of your mum and the problems?
Not to expect any apologies, just to say goodbye and give it closure, it may be a chance not repeated.