[harmony]

Where ever you decide to bring up your children and lots of people don't have a choice, they will be who they are. If you have a choice and give them opportunities to experience a different lifestyle, culture, environment etc which enriches their upbringing then how great is that! Later in life they will make their own choices.

I was brought up in small, rural community. One other child in the village until my sister came along when I was five. My son was in a similar situation 20 years ago. He is social, hardworking, practical, appreciates the countryside. I took him out of mainstream school at 14, it wasn't for him. I was told he'd lose contact with his friends and miss out on lots. He has masses of friends and missed nothing. He is self employed and doing just fine.

Today the world is a smaller place with social media but if you can have that and fields, freedom, animals and understand where food comes from, how things have to pay for themselves and that material things aren't always necessary then the positives in my opinion outweigh the negative stuff.

One of the biggest drawbacks of rural locations has to be the sketchy provision of public transport. It puts more pressure on parents to be a taxis. And your children will need/want to drive as soon as they can. Bit of a scary time for any parent but with possible driving curfews for new drivers etc I think this will become an issue for young, rural adults and families.

My son biked to the next village at about 8yrs old. You teach them to do things safely. Like when you shout "move" because the sheep are heading their way you mean "move now and ask questions later"!

You will know when you find the right place.

I would say that you need to think very carefully about how far you move from family. If you need them or they need you, long distances, especially if it going to be over an extended period, gets expensive, tiring and stressful.

[Marches Farmer]

You can't know what your children will be like or what they'll do with their lives.  This is your life and if rural life turns out not to be the right path for you then you will find another one. 

[Steph Hen]

I grew up in rural Wales and was a very frustrated teenager and my mum an even more frustrated taxi driver.

Snap!

Now I live in Scotland with 3.5years and 15 months old boys.
I was so lucky to have ponies and mess about with all different animals, friends who'd come stay for the weekend or who I'd go and stay with but it was always an ask and a drive and a drop off. We lived about 2 miles from an out of town shopping centre and cinema which was good, we could walk there. But school and friends were more like 20mins drive away.

Now I drive every day, all over the place. My sons playgroup and nearest shop and dr is 10mins drive and not a safe cycle ride for when he's older. Our bigger shops, swimming pool and everything are 10-15mins drive away, so not like we're middle of nowhere. I love where we live, it's in the middle of some fields, lots of space! But sometimes I think the best place would be on a holding on the outskirts of a village. A 5-10 minutes walk to a shop or school, little pub or coffee shop, park and then bus links to a town :-)

But there's always going to be compromises.

[oor wullie]

The book "Isolation Shepherd" is worth a read to put things into perspective.   (It's also a fascinating and enjoyable read).

Admittedly it was the 1960s but the author moved, with a newborn baby, to a house at the head of one of the Straths west of Inverness.  No road, no phone, 1 other house within about 20 miles.  The only real way of getting supplies in was by boat.  They must have been cut off for months at a time in winter.

[Anke]

The book "Isolation Shepherd" is worth a read to put things into perspective.   (It's also a fascinating and enjoyable read).

Admittedly it was the 1960s but the author moved, with a newborn baby, to a house at the head of one of the Straths west of Inverness.  No road, no phone, 1 other house within about 20 miles.  The only real way of getting supplies in was by boat.  They must have been cut off for months at a time in winter.

This book is a fascinating read! Got it a couple of years ago for Xmas.

[mariegold]

Thanks all so much for the thoughtful advice. I've been offline for a while as baby and goats are taking up all my time
Im thinking the positives of a rural upbringing outweigh the negatives after all.
I've just spent the day with my sister in law and her children, they live in London and are spoilt for choice when it comes to activities, but their favourite thing is forest school. Lighting fires, building dens and being outdoors. It made me realise how privileged we are to have a choice about where we bring up our daughter.
So the search for a smallholding begins (again)!

[Marches Farmer]

I recommend Amanda Owen's books - now there's a story!