The Accidental Smallholder Forum

Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: Dan on November 26, 2009, 07:36:02 pm

Title: Credit Crunch Tips
Post by: Dan on November 26, 2009, 07:36:02 pm
DON'T waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite
tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another
song you like and hum that instead.
 
DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your
identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with
your old bank statements.
 
SAVE money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply
changing your name to match your existing plate - Mr. KVL 741P.
 
DON'T waste money buying expensive binoculars; simply stand closer to
the object you wish to view.
 
SAVE electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking
around wearing a miner's hat.
 
HOUSEWIVES, the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the
price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in
your coat pocket.
 
OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books, simply
cross out the names and address of people you don't know.
 
SAVE on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The following
morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble
full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly against the
wall.
 
SAVE a fortune on laundry bills. Give your dirty shirts to Oxfam, they
will wash and iron them and you can buy them back for fifty pence.
 
OLD people, if you feel cold indoors this winter, simply pop outside for
ten minutes without a coat, when you go back inside you will really feel
the benefit.
 
CAN'T afford contact lenses? Simply cut out small circles of cling film
and press them into your eyes.
 
WHY pay the earth for expensive jigsaws? Just take a bag of frozen chips
from the freezer and try piecing together potatoes.
 
MAKE your own inexpensive mints by leaving blobs of toothpaste to dry on
a window sill. Use striped toothpaste to make humbugs.
 
SHOPPERS, when buying oranges, get more for your money by peeling them
before taking them to the counter to be weighed.
Title: Re: Credit Crunch Tips
Post by: doganjo on November 26, 2009, 07:43:41 pm
I can't type for laughing................ ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Credit Crunch Tips
Post by: RUSTYME on November 26, 2009, 08:01:43 pm
about the last one .....peeling oranges ... well it wasn't oranges it was potatoes.... I was in the spar shop that I used at the time , and I had often thought , why do I pay for the whole of a potato and then go home and throw half of it away ? ...so for a laugh I stood in the shop and peeled 2 lb of spuds ....and said I didn't want the peelings ....they thought it was great and let me pay for the spuds peeled....It wasn't so good though really , as by the time I got home they were a bit mankie looking to say the least. Oh and I did know the people there .... so it was just a joke ...not me going off on one !!!


cheers

Russ
Title: Re: Credit Crunch Tips
Post by: sandy on November 26, 2009, 08:08:23 pm
 ;D ;D
A few more tips

Save on loo roll by collecting as much as you can from public toilets
Collect hands full of after dinner mints when you go into resturants to use the loo
Record the Ice cream van songs if you want some party music
Find out where there is a funtion and go in and collect all the food you can in a bag
Next time you go out in the car go out in the rain (not too difficult) and put a cardboard "Taxi" sign on the top when someone asks if you are free, ask where they are going and if it's near take the free fare or if it's not say your booked and you are bound to get your return journey paid for.
Sit at the doorway to a shop or public place with a tin and a few animal baby stickers, say nothing, you may get some money if you see the police or security pretend you were waiting for you child who has made the tin at school and you put it down and could not stop people putting money in it..the animal photos are also your childs.
Pick some flowers from the municiple gardens, put a pin in them and have a collecting box and pretend it is a saints day!
Save on your heating bill and if you are lucky your food bill, by going around next door when it's cold and ask to borrow a cup of tea.

I don't do any of these by the way.
Title: Re: Credit Crunch Tips
Post by: sandy on November 26, 2009, 08:10:15 pm
Go down the tip after christmas and you will get loads of wrapping paper for the next year, some decorations and sometimes I tree...NOW I have done this :o
Title: Re: Credit Crunch Tips
Post by: RUSTYME on November 26, 2009, 08:13:37 pm
yes so have I .... but I think Dan must have wrapped his old bank statements up in christmas paper , as it wasn't just the paper I found when I opened it up !!!!!  :o ;D ;D

cheers

Russ
Title: Re: Credit Crunch Tips
Post by: sellickbhoy on November 26, 2009, 08:14:37 pm
viz top tips??
Title: Re: Credit Crunch Tips
Post by: sandy on November 26, 2009, 08:18:31 pm
Well I have done some of them, collected sugar,sauce and loo roll but who hasn't when they are a student?
Title: Re: Credit Crunch Tips
Post by: doganjo on November 26, 2009, 08:48:31 pm
Quote
Save on your heating bill and if you are lucky your food bill, by going around next door when it's cold and ask to borrow a cup of tea.

I did this not so long ago, didn't I Sandy?  In my defence it wasn't to save on heating, I had none! ::)
Title: Re: Credit Crunch Tips
Post by: sandy on November 26, 2009, 08:54:08 pm
 ;D You're welcome anytime

Another is to get dressed in your best clothes, fill up an empty wine bottle with cviegar sugar and water, then gate crash a nearby party better to be New Year or Christmas...now I have done that :-[ :-[and people have done it to me :D
Title: Re: Credit Crunch Tips
Post by: doganjo on November 26, 2009, 09:40:22 pm
;D You're welcome anytime

Another is to get dressed in your best clothes, fill up an empty wine bottle with cviegar sugar and water, then gate crash a nearby party better to be New Year or Christmas...now I have done that :-[ :-[and people have done it to me :D

And I thought Aberdonians were mean (me included  ;D ;D ;D)
Title: Re: Credit Crunch Tips
Post by: sandy on November 26, 2009, 09:52:49 pm
I went with my children to the wrong house..no with any wine though and one christmas I put out the milk bottles and invited a family in as they waved to someone else but I thought I knew them,,they stayed for ages and had crisps, quality street etc...when they left my children asked me who they were????