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Author Topic: Kids? (no, not goats!)  (Read 4490 times)

Womble

  • Joined Mar 2009
  • Stirlingshire, Central Scotland
Kids? (no, not goats!)
« on: August 05, 2009, 09:09:17 pm »

Well, as Annie has just said on another thread, I'm far too young to be a Grandad. However,  I am at the stage (early 30s) where lots of my friends are having children.  Last week we were round at a friend's house, and he was showing off (hundreds!) of photos of his newborn and 2 year old.  Mrs Womble and I managed to coo and ahh at all the right moments, but the only photo that ilicited any *real* response was the one of the saddleback pigs from their recent trip to a petting zoo!

So what does this mean?  Are we destined to be childless but happy smallholders?  :chook: ;D :pig:

So, I just wondered if anybody has any wisdom to pass on with respect to children. Particularly, have any of you actually decided not to have kids, and how has this decision panned out with the benefit of hindsight?

Equally, if you have a brood of your own, what's so amazing about it that we couldn't possibly miss out on? 

All advice gratefully received, as at present, the only people feeling remotely broody in our household are the chickens, and we're not too sure where this leaves us for the future!!

Cheers,

Womble.
"All fungi are edible. Some fungi are only edible once." -Terry Pratchett

Bobby

  • Joined Jun 2009
Re: Kids? (no, not goats!)
« Reply #1 on: August 05, 2009, 09:20:17 pm »
Mrs Bobby here.  We have 4 kids - none planned , in fact I got pregnant at 17 and went on to have 4 more.  We now have 4 lovely grandchildren too.  I was one of seven children.  I love my kids, and they do bring great joy as well as heartache, I think we live in a mad worls where having kids fits in with career plans, holidays, what the neighbours have , what is politically correct.  People these days seem to forget the natural things in life and strive to be the same as everyone else.  Kids are wonderful and extension of you - we could learn lot from animals :)

HappyHippy

  • Guest
Re: Kids? (no, not goats!)
« Reply #2 on: August 05, 2009, 09:40:16 pm »
Children are downright hard work- irrational, selfish, whining, moaning little bundles of s**t & puke.
But it's worth every bit of it when they turn round and tell you how much they love you and give you a cuddle. 
Don't stress about whether or not to have them, you'll know when it feels right.
Karen (mum of Rebecca 6, Kaitlin 4, and Connor 3 months !) ;)

sandy

  • Guest
Re: Kids? (no, not goats!)
« Reply #3 on: August 05, 2009, 09:56:03 pm »
I loved my three girls, I enjoyed playing games with them, having adventrues and parties, siting talking with them and teaching them just about everything, they gave me so much pleasure and love, I wish they were still around me now :'(, the only thing that got in my way of having fun was my husband, I had to pack away stuff to make the tea and clean up etc ;) I also have 5 fantastic grandchildren but don't see mcuh of them as I chose to move up to Scotland.  I like the way children see things....mind you, I love children anyway, I also love animals and flowers and people and birds and fish and FOOD!!!!!

ballingall

  • Joined Sep 2008
  • Avonbridge, Falkirk
Re: Kids? (no, not goats!)
« Reply #4 on: August 05, 2009, 10:18:36 pm »
I like children. They are great to have around- although nice to hand back. I don't have any myself, but I have 7 neices and nephews, and am particularly close to my 4 neices (hopefully will be to the latest nephew as well). They are noisy, annoying little people at times. Don't know if I'll have any- I actually suspect I might not, just through circumstances eventually. But on the other hand my family is unnaturally fertile....

Beth

doganjo

  • Joined Aug 2012
  • Clackmannanshire
  • Qui? Moi?
    • ABERDON GUNDOGS for work and show
    • Facebook
Re: Kids? (no, not goats!)
« Reply #5 on: August 05, 2009, 10:24:39 pm »
I agree with a lot of what has just been written.  I love having my children and grandchildren around me. When I shuffle off there is still part of me here - FOREVER (or at least until Russ's prophesies come true  ;))!  My advice is - you are still young so have time on your hands to do what you want to do now with your lives.  If you want to have children in a few years time then do so, or don't if you don't want to.  Do NOT accept pressure from any peers or relatives.  The decision is entirely yours and you are the only two people who can take the decision.  The only thing I would suggest is that as you near your late thirties/early forties you take stock and think carefully what life might be like without children - you may want to change your minds before it is too late.

Whatever you decide you have my best wishes.
Always have been, always will be, a WYSIWYG - black is black, white is white - no grey in my life! But I'm mellowing in my old age

Farmer

  • Joined May 2009
  • Sidway, Staffordshire
    • Farmeats.com
Re: Kids? (no, not goats!)
« Reply #6 on: August 06, 2009, 12:11:41 am »
I love children...but couldn't eat a whole one!

 :farmer:

Tullywood Farm

  • Guest
Re: Kids? (no, not goats!)
« Reply #7 on: August 06, 2009, 10:06:34 am »
Hello There

I didn't have my daughter until I was 38.

Before that I had a career, travelled the world twice, lived in different places, learned lots of different professions and worked hard and played hard - gym membership, travelling, reading, working all hours and travelling with the ob meant long periods of time away from home and a family would not have fit in with that.
When I got bored and did all I had, there was a big gap in my life.  I had been told that I could not have kids, but secretly always wanted a baby and always believed that it would be a girl.

Met Joe when I was 37 and fell pregnant within two months - and had a beautiful little girl, the best thing that happened in my life.

Christmas has more meaning, hanging out washing and ironing those pretty pink dresses was a pleasure, and motherhood and baking and making jam and bread and feeding your child healthy made me appreciate the finer things in life- animals, chooks esp., growing your own veg and fruit and generally having a lot of fun ( and little hands to help) doing it.

Also - If you can do something that a man cannot do - then I think you should go for it

Its an experience I would not have liked to have missed - makes life complete even with all the little knocks and things that come along in life.

BUT

It has to be right for you both, as if you are very happy now, why change things, and I do believe that if its meant to be - (stupidity and youth behind you already) - then it will happen when it should.

I remember the health nurse and my doctor being really pleased to deal with a mature mother for a change and see the joy that Tara brought to me.

Don't need to make a decision - wait and see how you feel - plenty of time too

Julie


sellickbhoy

  • Joined Jan 2009
  • Muiravonside, near Linlithgow
Re: Kids? (no, not goats!)
« Reply #8 on: August 06, 2009, 10:31:04 am »
fear not Womble, don't think anyone really likes other peoples kids. Once it's your own, you'll grow to love it  :D

plus, once they are up and walking, you can get them to do the horrible messy jobs about the smallholding - and it's free!!!

Lizmar

  • Joined Apr 2009
  • Carrick on Suir - Tipperary Ireland
Re: Kids? (no, not goats!)
« Reply #9 on: August 06, 2009, 10:52:59 am »
Well I agree with all of the above. They are amazing. I'm not a gooey type though and even when my daughter was small, I used to talk to her like an adult about absolutely everything.  It is great to watch them develop and start to get their own perspective on life.

They are really funny as well - when I said talk about everything, we actually did.  At 8 she asked me about the mechanics of ............sex!!!! Well after a lot of thinking how to put it :-\ she told me how she thought it worked :o Can I just say pencils and pencil sharpeners AND 'rubbers' :o :o and can I say she went to school and told the teacher she knew all about sex and she had proof in her pencil case - parents evening was never the same again!!!!!!!!!

I have to say having children later on is what I would have preferred, even though I had mine at 28 I still feel I lost most of my 30's.  It doesn't get any easier when they are older either cos that great mind you helped develop, then gets to think for it's self and the more you try to put it on the right track it rebels >:(

After all that I still say have one and see - you don't have to be that person with the photos and as for the free labour - don't bank on it. Its usually your free labour.

sabrina

  • Joined Nov 2008
Re: Kids? (no, not goats!)
« Reply #10 on: August 06, 2009, 11:36:31 am »
Having and bringing up children is the hardest job a couple can do. They cost a fortune and by the time they become teenagers the parents are ready to leave home. The joy is bringing life that has some part of yourself, seeing the first smile, first steps, first day at school. You get to remember all the things you enjoyed as a child and can do again with your own. I have three sons and three stepsons, three granddaughters and two grandsons and they bring me joy and laughter, what more do i need  ;D

Troubled Waters

  • Joined Jun 2009
Re: Kids? (no, not goats!)
« Reply #11 on: August 06, 2009, 03:07:46 pm »
Hi,
We'll both be 30 next year and I'd love kids but hubster not so sure.  I have been told it's very unlikely that I can have themm and the thought of having that choice taken away from me destroyed me for a while. BUT I haven't achieved all I want to in life yet and want to be able to give any kids we do manage to have (or adopt) a safe and stable home. So I don't know, we are both only children so when our parents have suffled off will have virtually no family left. I really want to have the relationship that I have with my parents with any child we have and know I have heaps of love to give.

The doctors say I am still really young to worry about whether I can or not so I guess that you guys are also in the really young category and have time enough to decide. You can easily have a plenty rich and full enough life without and we shouldn't be made to feel pressurised to have kids or looked down on if we don't/can't.

Well this has been more of a ramble than I intended but I guess what I want to say is that you will know.  One day you will know that you either want them or you don't.  Don't fret about not knowing now.
hfw.

 

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