[luckylady]

Thanks MGofM, hugs always appreciated.  Today hugs from a snowman would be appeciated.  Pheweee its hot!   My freezer is my best friend today!
PS the cows and calves from the other evening were apparently Charolais - just gorgeous, though the owner didn't think so at the time.

[in the hills]

Sorry for all your recent lost animals. They were obviously all really special to you and it hurts when they have to leave. We have taken on many old dogs and so have lost a good many ...... sometimes 2 or 3 in quick succession. It is heartbreaking even though you know it was for the best or that they had good and long lives. The good times are what you remember in the end but it takes time. They were lucky to find you ....Luckylady.


 

[Crafty Soo]

Thank you so much for sharing this luckylady  I have spent several hours feeling sorry for myself today but reading this thread has helped me to regain some perspective. I'm really beginning to believe I have been guided here just for this moment.

The love and comfort you have given to the animals you have lost has so much value and I hope you can continue to do so. There is a huge lack of compassion these days and your grief is totally justified. I almost lost my youngest son last week, to hanging, because of it. Love is love and you have restored my faith when I badly needed it.

You are a very luckylady and so am I. Sue xx

[plumseverywhere]

Oh Lucky lady and Crafty Soo - I'm so sorry 


Sometimes life seems to deal the harshest blows all at the same time. I know how I felt 2 years ago when we had an elderly cat PTS, the nanny goat died the following day and then 5 days later we found our young cat had been killed on the road.  It feels relentless for a while and then finally life gives you a break and you can recover.

[luckylady]

Oh Crafty Soo, you made me cry  .  Had I still lived in Berkshire I would have been over to you in a flash to give you a (((((hug)))) in person.  What trauma your emotions must have been through with your son.  I hope things are improving for him and you.  Much support needed from those around you but if ever you need to offload to someone detached from the situation please don't hesitate to private message me on here.    However old your son is I hope he has some wonderful professional help and you too may need some support.  I used to be a teenage counsellor in a sixth form when I lived in Berkshire and I know how complex the mind and emotions are. Positive thoughts winging their way to you and your son from Yorkshire. 
I do hope none of you think I'm moping around wringing my hands over my losses.  I'm generally a 'glass half full kinda gal' and constantly count my blessings hence the avatar name.  I do love my animals to bits but I have my feet well and truly on the ground enough to realise they are not human (don't tell the dog!) and cannot be treated as such even though it does still hurt to lose one.  What tends to upset me the most is when my daughter gets upset.  We add to the water table then!!

[Lesley Silvester]

Crafty Soo, how awful for you and thank goodness it was only almost.  I hope he gets the help he clearly needs now.

[Crafty Soo]

Thank you plumseverywhere, Mad Goatwoman of Madeley,  lucklady and the member who sent me a lovely private message. 

I really didn't give enough forethought before posting, as I did, so must apologise for any upset I have caused anyone. 

My family, like many others, have been "through the mill" for the past nine months and it has been very hard. Situations where we have not known what tunnel we were in, let alone seeing any light at the end of it. Turns out we were in an awful lot of tunnels...some together and others on our own. What happened with my son, who is thirty-two, led him out of his own tunnel and is something I see as a positive thing. He is very glad to be alive and making an effort to piece his life back together. I'm very grateful to be living in an area where there is still a fairly intact support network available.

I'm very much a 'glass half full kinda gal' myself luckylady and generally manage to 'live in the day.' I look on life as a series of lessons to be learned and the latest one, for me, has been to allow my children to learn from their own mistakes. It's the hardest one I've had up to now and I have no illusions that it will be the last.

I still feel I was brought here by the fleeces of a friend's sheep, which may yet end up as padding in new cushions for my garden furniture and being used in the garden. Nine fleeces will make an awful lot of mulch and bird nesting material! Maybe I will package it and sell it on eBay to bird lovers... 

Thank you all, once again, for your kind words and offers of support, they are very much appreciated. 

Soo xxxx

[Lesley Silvester]

Sounds like you've learned a valuable lesson, Soo.  My elder son is a year older than yours and works in peace keeping in war torn countries.  I've had to learn not to voice my concerns.  At the moment, he and his fiancee are doing a 3000 mile cycle trip round Asia.  All I could do was wish them well but I would far rather he was working in this country and going off on a 'normal' holiday but, as you say, you have to let them go their own way.
 
When they're little, you think it will be so much easier when they are grown up but, in fact, it is much, much harder.

[Crafty Soo]

Mad Goatwoman of Madeley, I love your name 

I'm ex army myself and also spent a good few years as an army wife. It's very hard to detach when you have a loved one in dangerous situations and I know how it feels.  My youngest daughter is currently in Tokyo teaching English. Went on her own, first ever flight, without a university degree and just after the nuclear power station event. When a child is that determined one has to stand back or get run over. 

Being a mother is a lifelong commitment and it does get harder when life gets difficult for children. It's strange but this is the only one, of four children, where I have had to deal with the letting go issue. My attitude has always been, "No news, is good news" and to be there to pick up the pieces if things go wrong. On this occasion life was exceptionally difficult and I had to intervene to give him time to come to terms with it all.

My late mother always said that we teach our children to fly and then let them go. My boy is just leaving the nest again. 

[plumseverywhere]

You sound like very strong women and I admire you      I only hope that I can bring my 4 daughters up with the sensible, proud and down to earth approach you seem to employ - I find myself stressed by the petty girly arguments they have at school so let alone watching them fly off into potential danger, I guess we have to let them grow up and I know I'd have not thanked my parents for trying to stop me make the choices and yes, mistakes, that I made as I grew up.
Becoming a mum to a tiny baby seemed a wonderful idea at the time - sometimes the fear of what could happen is overwhelming, Live for today?   

[Lesley Silvester]

Mad Goatwoman of Madeley, I love your name 

Thank you.  It came about because, obviously, I have goats and live in Madeley.  When I told my mum I had a goat, she said, "You must be mad."  She still says it at intervals.   
 
When my son was born, the biggest shock was discovering he only had one hand and a short forearm.  I always try to see the best in any situation - not always easy - and reassured myslef, "Well, at least if there's another war, he won't be called up."  Never thought he'd get himself a dangerous career by other means.
 
I'm very proud of him but I still wish he wasn't doing it but, as you say, you have to let them fly.
 
Plums, when yours get to the horrible teenage years, you'll find it easier to let them go.