Author Topic: OH NO MISSUS DONT MOCK (Read 4845 times)

harry · « **on:** April 07, 2009, 05:40:43 pm »

I know you shouldnt laugh but i know a newby to poultry that took a hen to the vets cause it was acting strange and the vet charged £24 to tell her it was broody...... oh no dont

Rosemary · « **Reply #1 on:** April 07, 2009, 06:20:27 pm »

When I was at agricultural college, one of teh staff stopped a student seconds before he put the thermometer in a calf's mouth to take its temperature.

And a former colleague of mine bought a cocker spaniel puppy. He thought it wasn't hearing too well so he took it to the vet. The vet stood behind the dog and clapped his hands, thesaid "She's deaf. That will be £10 please".

harry · « **Reply #2 on:** April 07, 2009, 06:30:20 pm »

£10..... cheap... the hens fees were £24.... i would have told her for a tenner... harry

mab · « **Reply #3 on:** April 08, 2009, 11:11:54 am »

I'm rather embarresed to admit this, but not long after I'd acquired my dog (my first pet since childhood) she appeared to go into season just 3 months after she'd been in season. According to the book i'd read dogs go into season every 6 months and I was new to the responsibility of dog ownership so, despite my common sense interpretation of her condition I decided to pop her round to the vet's for a 'professional opinion'.

The vet didn't seem too sure and gave me a course of antibiotics to give her (£25) and said come back with a urine sample. He charged an additional £25 for his expert opinion.

I went back with the urine sample despite my increasing conviction that she was in season and a different vet immediately confirmed that dogs can go into season after just 3 months and that there was nothing wrong with her - he didn't charge me for this information.

Since then I've applied the common sense approach - if they aren't obviously ill they're probably not ill.

mab

sellickbhoy · « **Reply #4 on:** April 08, 2009, 11:28:51 am »

I was visiting my wee sister and my 7 month old nephew at the weekend, she told me a story that made me smile

they went out for lunch to the place that they are having the wedding, it was a sunday roast affair

anyway, the parsnip chips tasted funny and both her and her boyfriend agreed. So they mentioned it to the waiter who went through to the kitchen for the chef to have a look.

the waiter came back and confirmed the worst - the parsnip chips were in fact celeriac!

sandy · « **Reply #5 on:** April 08, 2009, 12:19:46 pm »

I pride myself in being worldly wise and had loads of people experience BUT, one shift in a children's home, a teenage boy and girl had barricaded themselves into a room, I was asked to keep trying the door as then they would have to keep shoving it back again so keeping them busy, I did but they must have pushed all their furniture up to the door as I heard "heavy breathing" I ran down to the manager and said, we must break in as someone is having an Asama attack!!! just as I said it I re thought the situation...Oh no they hadn't got Asama!!! another time I was somewhere else and the young people all had to earn their time alone at a residential school for excluded students, I spent the lunch break sitting with a nice quiet lad doing his homework, he then asked if he could have his notebook from his bag, it was locked in the staff room, I fetched it for him and he took it, smiled and said "bye!" I hadn't realised this would happen and felt a bit embarrassed to say the least although to be fair, he could have gone without his bag!!!!! my friend a painter had a similar experience in a psychiatric hospital, someone in reception asked him and the other painters if they could open a window, they did and several other "patients got off their seats and systematically climbed through"""
Another embarrassing story is?

???sorry, I cannot tell but it involves the police, crutches and a missing person

flipflopper · « **Reply #6 on:** April 08, 2009, 02:06:16 pm »

Quote from: harry on April 07, 2009, 05:40:43 pm

I know you shouldnt laugh but i know a newby to poultry that took a hen to the vets cause it was acting strange and the vet charged £24 to tell her it was broody...... oh no dont

harry

i'm not sure if thats a poor reflection on the newbie or the vet

looks like my best investment is going to be my meat cleaver $:-\$

Castle Farm · « **Reply #7 on:** April 08, 2009, 04:20:49 pm »

I had a couple travel 4 hours each way to buy an Australorp Cock.I gave them the choice of 2 and hubby said..'We come all this way perhaps we ought to buy the 2'"..So they did..I boxed them and mentioned that neither of the boys had been any where near any hens and when they were introduced they might start a fight for dominance..The wife said.."What do you normally do if they do start fighting..I said I eat one and that seems to stop it.

ballingall · « **Reply #8 on:** April 08, 2009, 11:06:35 pm »

My mother met a local institute of a lady for the very first time when she was seeing practice at the vets in Kinross. She walked in to the surgery, and thumped a dead chicken down on the counter. "Tell me what she died of" she demanded. My mother and her colleague looked at the chicken, and said, "Well we don't know- but we can send her away for a post mortum if you want to know".

Oh no, says the lady in question- "I want to eat her- I just want to know what she died of in case it might be poisonious" So she wouldn't send away her chicken, but took it away instead, and presumably, ate it. She, I might add is still going strong, aged about 95 now, and this was over 40 years ago so it most likely didn't do her any harm.

The same lady, about 20 years after this, also claimed her goat had had a virgin birth. When my mum asked about the male goat kid that she had had in the spring, until about July, she said- "oh but he wouldn't do that- she was his granny!"

Beth