NFU Mutual Smallholding Insurance

Author Topic: How bad can it get?  (Read 2683 times)

landrovermanuk

  • Joined Jul 2010
  • Essex
How bad can it get?
« on: October 22, 2010, 05:40:34 pm »
Long story short, my wife and I have been looking after an old boy and all the animals on his small holding. I do all the feeding and watering of the animals and she does all his cooking and washing. We contacted his family, who didn't want to know, so they got on to social services. Social services decided he could stay on the land with no hot water or toilet as he was mentally strong enough to make up his own mind. Lately his mental health has deteriorated so we called social services again, that night we get a call from the family telling us to stay away as they will have us arrested for stealing from the old boy. We have done nothing wrong and have looked after the wellfare and stopped the old boy being ripped off.... Now social services are saying that the family, who don't like him and have not visited him in years are going to look after him....I said they are going to let him die aren't they? Social worker said she could not answer that but she has her own opinion...wink wink..But she has no power to do any thing unless the family ask for help..... The animals won't be fed, the old boy loves them, but forgets to or gives them two lots of feed or puts food and water in the same bowl etc. I feel so bad but I have to put my family first and due to my work I can't afford to be arrested and investigated even for a malicious allegation! We feel sick as the old boy wants us to help him and doesn't want his family involved...Has it really got to the stage where you have to sit back and watch someone die with social services fully aware of what's going on? There must be be some laws on neglect surely? His will leaves every thing to charity so unless they can change his will they are not gaining unless they strip him of his equipment and belongings....
Voss Electric Fence

katie

  • Joined Feb 2008
  • worcs
Re: How bad can it get?
« Reply #1 on: October 22, 2010, 06:08:57 pm »
That sounds awful. Perhaps you could contact Age Concern - they can be very helpful, or maybe Citizen's Advice. You are in a difficult position. My sympathies.

scotelf

  • Joined Aug 2010
  • West Lothian
Re: How bad can it get?
« Reply #2 on: October 22, 2010, 06:10:51 pm »
Is the old chap still happy for you to go up and help him? If so I wouldn't stop what you are doing. The social worker obviously knows you have been looking out for him, why should he or his animals suffer because of his nasty family.

All I would do to cover yourself is contact your local police community officer and make them aware of the situation. A quick chat on the phone would do it.

Be careful if you handle money for him, have anything corroborated or copy receipts.

The police really aren't interested in this kind of thing. If his mental health is deterioting(sp?)  perhaps it's worth getting a charity (help the aged) or someone involved to be an impartial outsider. I don't know what you have access to in your area, or what his mental health issues are, or even a quick word with the community psychiatric nurse.

All just ideas, social services throughout the country are overwhelmed, but they still have a duty of care, even if his family don't. He is lucky to have friends like you.
Lynn :)

smallholder in the city

  • Joined Jul 2010
  • Lincolnshire
    • HootersHall
Re: How bad can it get?
« Reply #3 on: October 22, 2010, 06:43:33 pm »
If he's happy for you to help I'd carry on. So long as he's got capacity to make the decision (can understand what the decision is, weigh up the pros and cons and recall the information) it's up to him and if he hasn't then the decision as to who takes over the running of his affairs has to be made formally. The family can't 'get you arrested'. You've been upfront with the official services, Social services know you are helping out, the Police are highly unlikely to be interested. Age concern might be helpful   

landrovermanuk

  • Joined Jul 2010
  • Essex
Re: How bad can it get?
« Reply #4 on: October 22, 2010, 07:25:17 pm »
Thanks for your kind words.
 I realise the family can't just have me arrested but due to my work it would cause me major problems if they reported me even if it was malicious.
We have phoned Age concern and they have given us a number to call on Monday(office hours). Which we will do.
Social services have told us to stay away and to put our family first. They are totally happy with our actions but feel we have taken things as far as we can.
We know they are lying as the old boys friends are all happy with what we have done and some have offered to be character witnesses if required.
We will still do what we can but for him but it will have to be by way of phoning relevant people/groups etc rather than going down there....
 We both feel sick and have lost sleep through worry...Not guilt! We know we have done more than many people would including his family. The trouble is his small holding is covered in scrap metal, and his barns full of farm equipment, antiques and furniture etc. If any of this goes missing which it does as people go in when I'm at work and rip him off. The other day he had a load of scrap taken and got £30 for it, some one else took a load of full gas bottles. When I pointed out that I had stopped people taking more stuff they asked who had put me in charge and what business it was of mine...
I thought raising a few pigs would be an enjoyable pass time.....How wrong was I!
There are 5 pigs on there which we went halves on the family told me if I wanted my half I would have to take them to court. The problem is as the Defra number is in the old boys name everything is in his name..So I have no proof to take to court...
You live and learn as they say....Sorry for the long moan...Hope you've all had a better week...

bazzais

  • Joined Jan 2010
    • Allt Y Coed Farm and Campsite
Re: How bad can it get?
« Reply #5 on: October 22, 2010, 07:34:18 pm »
Deal with the person not the allegations. (easier said than done)

If your making his life comfortable, then thats what you can add to his memory/life.  Being someone who cares can sometimes be made/seen as a mockery by outsiders with remits to hit targets.  On you post it seems like your probably the people who look out for him most the most, good job!!

These old timers need to be given the respect thats due, like you've already done.  

Whatever happens you cant forget the old boy and what he represent + you've done all you can. I wish and hope there is someone like you around when i get old.

Seems like these day the old and established are being robbed of a descent ending.  After being members of our society since the word dot - our elders are being shat on all over the place

- shame on us, some of our elders are rotting in poverty and isolation cos we cant make changes.

Ta

Baz

doganjo

  • Joined Aug 2012
  • Clackmannanshire
  • Qui? Moi?
    • ABERDON GUNDOGS for work and show
    • Facebook
Re: How bad can it get?
« Reply #6 on: October 22, 2010, 08:04:58 pm »
Would one of the animal welfare organisations help out with the animals - just to make sure they are safe?  You've done all you can for the old man, and like Baz, I hope my neighbours look out for me, although my family are fairly near.  Do you know why his family are being so antagonistic to you?
Always have been, always will be, a WYSIWYG - black is black, white is white - no grey in my life! But I'm mellowing in my old age

Sandy

  • Guest
Re: How bad can it get?
« Reply #7 on: October 22, 2010, 08:50:30 pm »
When I went for a socila work interview I used the very same example...if I were a neighbour and I saw an elderly person having problems I would help, If I were a trained Social worker I would not help but make an asessment and comission others, family first due to funding, to help!!!!!! Not in Social Services any more  ;)

landrovermanuk

  • Joined Jul 2010
  • Essex
Re: How bad can it get?
« Reply #8 on: October 22, 2010, 08:51:48 pm »
We have contacted the relevant authorities re the animals, we are just waiting to hear back from them.
 Over the years the old boy has been what would now be called a player and has numerous children by 5 or 6 women. We only found contact details for one of them. We think that when social services contacted them for the second time they had a go. The daughter showed no interest and her other half wanted him sectioned.
 The only thing we can think of was that the old boys will left every thing to a charity. He decided that he wanted to leave something to three of his daughters and asked us to get him a solicitors appointment so he could add them to the will. We took him to the solicitors but on the way he became confused and asked where we were taking him. It was explained to him and he went. He was then only a very short time with the solicitor and came storming out. He was unhappy until he was home then he started on asking us to get his will changed. We did not go in with him or give him instructions for the solicitors. So we know that we did nothing untoward. We think that maybe the family phoned him and he told them that we had taken him to the solicitors to change his will. The only other thing could be he doesn't get on with his neighbour as the neighbour tried to buy the land from the old boy a few years ago and he refused. Since then they have been sniping at each other. There is a slim chance the neighbour thinks that this could be a chance to get the old boy off the land...We just don't know.

landrovermanuk

  • Joined Jul 2010
  • Essex
Re: How bad can it get?
« Reply #9 on: October 25, 2010, 04:08:05 pm »
Good news is that the family lied about the care of the old boy and social services have asked us to care for him and the animals. He is going to be fully assessed in the next day of two and we will care for the animals until it is decided what to do with them.
Bad news, when my wife went down the farm one of the neighbours we have reservations about was there and he said he was going to get the family down there....
I told the wife if they turn up, call the police as it is up to the old boy to choose who stays and who goes as at this stage he is still in charge of himself and the land. This neighbour has been buying stuff off the old boy...Like corrugated metal roofing sheets for a couple of padlocks, and he says we can't be trusted. When I pointed out to the family that he was being ripped off they asked who made me his business adviser and to back off...
Hopefully now he will get the care he deserves... 

scotelf

  • Joined Aug 2010
  • West Lothian
Re: How bad can it get?
« Reply #10 on: October 25, 2010, 07:20:35 pm »
Well at least there has been some positive moves, not that it's going to be easy, but the old chap and his animals are looked after for the moment, well done to you and your wife for sticking with it!
Lynn :)

Rosemary

  • Joined Oct 2007
  • Barry, Angus, Scotland
    • The Accidental Smallholder
Re: How bad can it get?
« Reply #11 on: October 25, 2010, 07:56:29 pm »
Yeah, well done you  :)

Sandy

  • Guest
Re: How bad can it get?
« Reply #12 on: October 25, 2010, 08:39:54 pm »
THe old boy at least has some good friends But please be warned...take nothing from him, even if you are willing to pay, he will need to buy feed etc and get recipts for everything. WHen some one is ageing and may have dementia, they do not always know who they gave what to and they can go "funny" on people doing them good terns..protect yourself as much as you can and hope people like you help me and my better half if/we need it!!!

landrovermanuk

  • Joined Jul 2010
  • Essex
Re: How bad can it get?
« Reply #13 on: October 25, 2010, 10:08:08 pm »
Once again thanks for the support.
We haven't taken anything from the old boy. We have done all his food and feed buying and he wouldgive us the money and we returned with goods,change and reciept. The social worker said get some money of him for feed but we said no you get the money and give it to us, then there can be no false allegations.
 It came to a head this afternoon. My wife fed him and the animals, he then decided to go home. My wife pointed out that he was home. He got angry and drove up to the bumper of my Land Rover and sat there reving the engine... He then got out went to the drivers window and had an argument with the driver...My wife was not in the L/R, it was empty.  She called the police, when they arrived so did one of the neighbours who phoned his family who told the police that my wife shouldn't be there and was a trouble maker. After being told that she should back off by the police my wife walked off in tears to get the L/R and come home, as she drove past the police flagged her down and told her they had sectioned the old boy to prevent harm coming to him or others... At last a small result for common sense. We had both called the social services repeatedly whilst this was going on. Eventually they got back to us and said sorry they should not have left it to us and they will speak to us tomorrow... The RSPCA are going to collect most of the animals very soon but asked that we deal with the pigs... Got three choices with them, I've got a friend who has a small holding ad she will take them for now, but who knows for how long, sell them to a friend of a friend or give them to the local rare breeds centre....The third one means the children can still see the pigs once in a while, it's close by and the pigs will be safe. The first one means the pigs are still ours and we can then have our own pork, but don't know how long she will let us keep them there and it's a 30 mile round trip.
 I've not found any land for rent/sale round here as every one is selling land for silly money by calling it investment land... I may ask to buy the old boys small holding but (1) I don't like the neighbours and (2) That could look a bit dodgy... So deep and meaning full chat with the wife when she gets in tonight...She had enough so went out for some retail therapy with one of her friends. She has been the real star in all this being dropped in at the deep end looking after an old man just to support my dream.. I really couldn't ask for a better person to share my life with!!! Sorry if that sounds a bit corney and if you tell her I said that I'll deny it...lol

Sandy

  • Guest
Re: How bad can it get?
« Reply #14 on: October 25, 2010, 10:25:45 pm »
 :bouquet: :bouquet: Poor pair!!! Poor old boy as well!!!

 

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