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Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: Isla on March 28, 2018, 12:25:28 pm

Title: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: Isla on March 28, 2018, 12:25:28 pm
Feel like I'm at a massive turning point and would really appreciate advice from experienced people!  Maternity leave will commence this summer for the arrival of our first child.  I get that babies are time-consuming but I'm wondering what my options are for later in the year and beyond.

Present situation:
almost finished renovating a cottage in North-East Scotland which is where I grew up and have good network of friends and family;
work part-time as a supply teacher (and do private tutoring and exam marking) and part-time as a private landlord managing a portfolio of properties;
4 dairy goats (two are goatlings, one is due to kid next week and the other is milking through);
4 pet sheep (wethers who have been instructed to keep the grass down and produce beautiful fleeces);
4 stable boxes with lean-to for bale storage, a concrete yard and a wee menage made by the previous horsey owners;
3 acres, all stock fenced, divided into five paddocks, some with water supply;
2 pet dogs i.e. not working dogs;
1 cat;
1 significant other who works full-time, something to do with computers;
I'm vegetarian but reconsidering this due to the responsibility that comes with breeding dairy goats i.e. the male kids.

What would you do?  I really believe in building up gradually i.e. not going out and buying all sorts of different stock without adequate research.  But I'm also aware that months can pass and I haven't made any steps towards something new or different e.g. bought the house 2.5 years ago and still not growing any of our own veg!  Main aim is to lead more sustainable life with experiences rather than things.  Would like bees and hens and I will have lambswool to process this summer.  My other half is an omnivore who eats a lot of bacon and sausages so I think it's about time we reared our own pork.  He helps out in emergencies but overall the smallholding is 'my thing'.  I am finding schools increasingly frustrating and heart-breaking and the workload unbearable but still love teaching.
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: Anke on March 28, 2018, 02:29:23 pm

We started our smallholding with poultry for eggs and a couple of weaners for our own pork, then built up the garden (fruit cage, polytunnel and some raised beds). and then two years later started with sheep, goats only came another year later. My children were 3 and 5 when we moved in (new-built house).


We have also done meat chickens, but I find it quite a lot of work wrt plucking... I am very slow. Nowadays we just rear the surplus cockerels until they really annoy me with their crowing and then don't pluck, just take the skin off and use the breast meat and legs. That job is also done by my OH, but I could do it if needed.


If you want to do more food production - a polytunnel is a great investment, especially in Scotland. And if you already have a manege (and no horses) you have a flat area where to put it! There are so many things that you cannot grow outside up here, but with a polytunnel you can get out of the weather and still do stuff!



Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: Isla on March 28, 2018, 02:56:09 pm
Thanks, Anke. Yes sounds like a polytunnel is the best thing to prioritise.
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: Buttermilk on March 28, 2018, 03:45:09 pm
Be aware that a young child takes up an enormous amount of time so be carefull of filling your days with extra animals which will need attention over winter.  A few poultry and a couple of veg plots to get the growing started would be the way I would go.
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: Dans on March 28, 2018, 05:25:03 pm
I would stick with what you have livestock wise. If you want to take on more then looking at the growing side may be best. Polytunnels are great (you cam also be out there weeding/sowing etc with baby in pushchair on colder and wetter days). Getting fruit bushes and trees in could also be good.

We moved to the smallholding with a 10 week old. We had no animals and no crops growing. There were plenty of fruit trees full of fruit to harvest though. We still found it hard (husband working full time with computers but thankfully his office is the converted garage). We managed to get a couple of beds in the polytunnel that autumn/winter and got our first chickens and geese in the following Feb and sheep in the April I think. It's only 2.5acres but we are still finding it hard to keep on top of with the little one. She has groups to go for socialising which takes time and has ended up with poorly lungs so it's been harder to take her out in colder weather.

My hope had been that I would be out with her everyday, in a sling or pushchair and then with her running around but it is only in the last year or so that I have been able to do more (she's 2 and 3/4 now).

My husband's comment is to finish the renovation as a big priority. Our first child really did take us by surprise in how much work she was and how it impacted. We would happily work on our garden before she was born until the sun set, grabbing a late dinner or snacking through but with her things have to work around her. When she was teething she needed to be constantly held, when she needed a feed it had to be then. One of our sheep was taking a while to lamb last year, hubby was in meetings and baby was screaming for a feed so I had to set up a chair in the shade of tree near where she was lambing and feed my baby outside whilst keeping an eye out.

Dans

PS when are you due? We are expecting our second late August.
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: SallyintNorth on March 28, 2018, 06:29:13 pm
I haven't had children myself so won't comment about that.  But what I will say is that it would seem to me to be better to have plants struggling and even dying because the baby is taking much more time and energy than expected, than to have livestock suffering! 
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: sabrina on March 28, 2018, 08:51:21 pm
You are about to start the hardest job you will ever do in your whole life, that of raising a child. the first 6 months you will be lucky if you have the time or the energy to brush your hair. ( not kidding ). I would take this time to make a long term plan of just what you need and want. I have a pollytunnel which in the North East of Scotland is a god send. I do have a veg plot but the lasst couple of years as been very poor due to wet weather so most of my veg is grown in the tunnel. we rear lamb and pork just for our own needs. I do not breed. 3 chickens for eggs. I did work part time but now retired, kept busy enough with our place. Always jobs like fencing seem to come up just when I don't need it. I keep a wee book on what needs doing and when, costs of feed etc. Plan out as much as I can not that everything ever goes to plan !!!!!
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: mariegold on March 28, 2018, 09:55:55 pm
I've recently had a baby (9 weeks ago) we currently have 4 goats which we decided to dry up in the winter to take the pressure off when the baby arrived. I managed to stay fairly active right up until the baby arrived (including mucking out whilst having contractions) but now I'm really limited by and can only really get stuck in with the goats when my other half takes the baby. I had to have an emergency caesarean, spent several days in hospital and house bound for 4 weeks and now have to take it steady. Its been frustrating and really upsetting to be apart from my goats. I'd recommend keeping things simple just in case. Growing lots of vegetables would be great, especially in a polytunnel where you could have an area for the baby. That's what I'm dreaming of. I'd steer clear of anything that needs milking or daily mucking out unless someone can help you at short notice or whilst you recover from giving birth :)
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: harmony on March 28, 2018, 10:32:19 pm
I worked full time through my pregnancy. I had a trekking centre. I had an extremely easy pregnancy with no sickness or problems. I was also very grateful going into labour still physically fit. I came home with my son and was bored rigid. Within days I was back on the yard just to keep sane. Within a few weeks I was thrown back into full time work due to circumstances that arose. My son literally grew up on the yard. He was extremely healthy, walked before a year of age (crawling on concrete probably does that) and he learned commonsense, health and safety, the value of money and other things about life.


Babies and toddlers are hard work. They have basic needs and then I think it is up to you how much you let them take over your day. I feel I was lucky to take my child to work and yes, maybe he missed out on some things but we spent a lot of quality time together and we are still close.


I'm sorry but I can not understand why women can not find time to brush their hair, or get dressed because they have a baby.


You already have quite a lot to manage so if you can continue to manage that after your baby arrives then you can look at other options later.
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: Dans on March 28, 2018, 10:44:26 pm
I think all babies are different, which is something to take into account, but you don't know what type you are going to have.

To be fair I did manage to brush my hair everyday, but having a shower everyday was hit and miss. Part of it is how that particular baby is, some are more clingy and demanding than others, part of it is how you decide to approach parenting. We went for a very child led approach which is admittedly much more demanding on my time. I also had a very sedentary pregnancy due to severe SPD and an emergency c-section followed by a slip in the hospital which still gives me hip problems nearly 3 years later. All of those made it harder to be more active on the smallholding when we moved here at 10 weeks.

No-one knows how they are going to get through the birth (c-section certainly wasn't on my wishlist), how the baby will be (my daughter was very clingy to me and OH) nor how they will approach parenting (I thought I would be quite detached from it but ended up being drawn to an attachment/gentle parenting route). The one thing we can do though is try to prepare for all situations. If you assume that you will have your hands full and no time to get out daily beyond the very basic tasks then if you end up having an easier time of it it will be a pleasant surprise.

Some mothers bounce back and go to work very quickly, some struggle to settle into the swing of motherhood, others never do. We are all so very different. I try to understand and support them all. We are all just trying to do our best by the life we bring into the world.

Dans
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: westcoastcroft on March 28, 2018, 11:16:21 pm
Hi

I think it really depends on what you want out of it.

Our situation is we live in a static (have done in various places since 2012) and have had our first child in June 2017. I work 2 days a week and clean 3 holiday houses  (boring but lucrative) once maternity leave finishes my partner will go back 1 day a week. All in this gives us enough to live off and we save about half for the house build. We don't go anywhere or do anything off the croft but that is fine we are working towards what we really want. A business, a house and no 'work'.

To that end we are currently keep 10 ewes and  2 highlanders  (who knows if these will pay for themselves in the long run). We also have a milk goat, a wether companion and a few chickens neither of which is for financial reasons (but pay for themselves in savings on cheese, eggs, milk, yogurt etc). Business wise we are establishing a market garden (80x30ft tunnel and about 1 acres outside) having previously run a similar scale profitable enterprise (slightly above minimum wage) in a different location (but similar to skye). We are also building a house, the frame will go up this summer and I will do the internal work over next winter.

I work 8 hours most days  (but almost never more) and my partner looks after baba (with a few hours input from me spread across the day when she gets out and about a bit) we will share this more as the child gets older.
We love it but it is very hard work. I think the key for us (or me at least) is a fairly strict 8 hour day (dont do to much I think or burnout is on the horizon!) which, after the paid employment, gives about 35 hours a week to devote to the business and house build which seems about right based on the previous business and the spilt between summer work and winter I. E. All summer on the business all winter on  the house.

Also since having the baby we have gone from 2 workers to 1 what with child care - it is totally and un relentingly full time. I think you should evaluate what you want and why. Our goal is quite clearly to not have to 'go to work', beyond maybe a day each to ensure a small steady stream of income for security and have a low impact, low cost, sustainable life.  Once the house is finished we will drop our working to 1 day each to focus fully on the business. In order to achieve all this we have to seriously sacrifice many things that many people think are essential to have a reasonable standard of living - holidays, spending money, new things etc etc.  On the plus side we get to do largely what we want when we want(or when the baby wants), have very low outgoings (beyond the eye watering cost of building a house), eat great healthy food and spend all day outside. It really depends what you want out of it all. It sounds like you have quite a lot on as it is at present and with a baby coming that is only going to get more. We worked out our available hours and came to the conclusion we could just about manage this - just! Assuming one of the two of you looks after the baby all the time, plus your current commitments how much time do you have left over still allowing yourselves a reasonable amount of down time, and still enjoying it? I know folk who work a lot more hours than me but is that productive and are you going to enjoy it 5 years in. Could you work less and save money by producing your own food, would you like the insecurity of that, or a small business - do you need the steady income to feel secure

H
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: Isla on March 28, 2018, 11:23:17 pm
Thanks all.  Congratulations to those of you with new arrivals or who are expecting soon.  Almost every single one of my friends have infants but their lives are very different from mine:  they can't understand 6am milking and I can't understand box sets; they don't do agricultural shows and I don't do soft play centres.  So that's why I asked on this forum.  I'm also trying to think ahead for the coming years but it looks like the short-term is too unpredictable to be able to think long-term.

I absolutely take on board that this is not the time to take on more livestock.  C-sections seem to be on the rise so that's just one possibility as well as all the other unforseen circumstances like a baby who is unwell or has allergies.

My partner and I discussed sharing parental leave but financially it's better for him to continue working full-time.  What alarms me is when my friends have to organise for their husbands to "babysit" so they can go out.  I wonder how often a father-to-be hears that he won't have time to meet his basic needs.  I guess all you can do is be open with each other and make sure you're on the same page; my partner and I have similar values - just different interests!
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: westcoastcroft on March 28, 2018, 11:35:23 pm
We had planned to share parental leave but in the end switched it back to my partner having it all. I was surprised by how much a wee one spurred me on to work at the croft and business and she was surprised by how much she ( and I also agree) felt that the little one primarily needed her mum -this is changing slowly but at 6 months I don't think it would have been right for me to take her a couple of days a week, whilst A worked. You can't plan these things..
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: SallyintNorth on March 29, 2018, 01:20:44 pm
I’ve really enjoyed reading this thread. :heart:

I’m blessed to live now in a diverse community and have children born and growing up here along with some older members.  So there are always willing babysitters / aunts and uncles / grannies and grampses. And, as (if not more) importantly, other people to pick up any workload mums and dads can’t manage at any point in time.

But it’s been interesting and often moving to read people’s stories. Thank you all  :-*
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: Rosemary on March 30, 2018, 08:12:27 am
I'd forget the bees. They're more work than you think - at least ours have been. If you want some desperately, see if another beekeeeper will locate some on your land.

Whatever, your kid is going to have  a wonderful life  :)
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: Steph Hen on March 30, 2018, 08:41:46 am

I'm sorry but I can not understand why women can not find time to brush their hair, or get dressed because they have a baby.


I got sick in both of my pregnancies, the first was accompanied by so much vomiting, feeling faint, feet swelled until I had to buy new shoes and the skin was tight like a ball, bright red, the swelling spread right up both legs and into my abdomen, so as well as the bump I had another bump underneath. Both were c-sections, the first after 3days of hospital stay. I lost 16kg in hospital, 10kg of this was the fluid from extra swelling. Baby was SO needy, he had to be cuddled, fed from me all the time, carried about, entertained, I took him swimming 5 times a week, he never slept for more than 15-30minutes, never napped unless I was holding him or he was being pushed about I the pram. Any carriers or being stationary in the pram or on a play mat and he'd be sobbing again.

Now he's older we know he has sensory issues, sort of similar to the autism spectrum, ADHD type thing.

2nd was a doddle, lovely, slept for a proper bit at a time, or on a play mat, gentle nature, happy in a carrier. Unfortunately he got ill 10 days old so we were back in hospital and on a drip, he later developed food allergies to dairy, gluten, soya, corn, nuts and eggs, ranging from severe eczema to being blue lighted back to hospital. We have to be incredibly careful not to expose him to any allergens, we eat about nothing from a packet apart from rice and gluten free oats.

Both had tongue ties which meant they couldn't latch to feed properly which was another hospital visit and explained a bit of first ones demanding nature and why second was fussy and not gaining enough weight.

I didn't and still don't always have time to brush my hair.
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: harmony on March 30, 2018, 09:34:28 am
With complicated pregnancies, births and babies/toddlers/children and beyond then obviously it will be more difficult to fit in everything but my point was, and I apologies if I made it badly or offended, as I have first hand experience of when things don't go to plan, that having a baby doesn't mean (for most) that you can't manage other things.


I didn't have a choice but to go to back to work and if I hadn't been able to do that because my child had complications I would have had some serious decisions to make.  I appreciate that not everyone could have coped with that situation.


All babies are a precious gift and it goes without saying that they will be the focus of your life.
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: SallyintNorth on March 30, 2018, 11:09:18 am
I'd forget the bees. They're more work than you think - at least ours have been. If you want some desperately, see if another beekeeeper will locate some on your land.

When I got an allotment, I thought I'd need bees for pollination.  I knew nothing so went along to the local Beekeepers' Society.  I soon learned that a) bees are a lot of work; b) bees fly up to 3km routinely for food, so you don't need hives on your own property as long as there are hives within a mile or so and c) thankfully, in my case, the President of the Beekeepers' Society had 50,000 bees within 3km of my allotment, so I needed to do nothing!   :D
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: Anke on March 30, 2018, 11:43:00 am

I'd forget the bees. They're more work than you think - at least ours have been. If you want some desperately, see if another beekeeeper will locate some on your land.




Yes I second that, bees are a lot of work, expensive to set up with no guaranteed return, and if they are swarming you need to deal with them there and then.... if you get someone to set up on your land yes it may be good in return for some honey, but these kind of arrangements can easily turn into the stuff of nightmares... there is a reason why lots of beekeepers are retired men...
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: Marches Farmer on March 30, 2018, 11:55:45 am
On another tack entirely is there a National Childbirth Trust branch in your area?   Ours ran six weeks of pre-birth meetings for both parents, by which time we'd made (and still have) some firm friends.  This, in turn, led to that group forming a babysitting circle (for points which were credited/debited as appropriate).  Doing paperwork sitting at someone else's dining table and eating their biscuits is an outing in itself and we felt confident the babysitters would be competent since they had a child of the same age.  The NCT also ran excellent sales in the church hall twice a year - a great place to sell outgrown clothing, kit and toys and buy the next stage up at secondhand prices.
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: Steph Hen on March 30, 2018, 01:08:58 pm
Thanks harmony.

Isla, why do you work? For me it's about mental stimulation, feeling more than 'just a nappy changing, milking burp cloth' :-) over exaggerating, love my kids, but it's great to put on work clothes and speak to grown ups sometimes. Also because family business needs me just now. For me, although working from home when kids are in bed sounds ideal, it isn't, it makes me too tired, feel isolated and overwhelmed. Whereas I love going into the office.

How much work are pigs? If that's what your husband eats, that's where I'd be thinking for next step.

I got two kids which I bottle fed when my oldest was just shy of a year. Those little goats were great fun and they'd play with him in the straw alongside the dog, and later all go exploring when he was up walking, just adorable! As someone else said earlier, your baby is going to have a great upbringing!

I just about always start off too many seeds, then get sad when some get hammered by aphids, weeds or too dry in greenhouse... I'm getting there though :-)

If you can, I'd get a poly tunnel. So good with a little one if half is grass, or something, think how good it would be to be out there potting on with baby on a blanket while it's raining and everyone else is inside complaining. I don't have one, because of the money but think it's a great investment.
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: Isla on April 02, 2018, 01:54:12 pm
On another tack entirely is there a National Childbirth Trust branch in your area?

Probably.  I was just going to go to whatever antenatal classes my midwife sends me to.  NHS ones?  Are there advantages to attending NCT classes rather than whatever the other ones are?  I think one of my friends went to NCT ones because they're on at weekends so it meant her husband could attend without having to take unpaid time off work.  But then I think you have to pay for the NCT ones.  Not sure.
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: Isla on April 02, 2018, 02:02:07 pm

Isla, why do you work?


Ha!  Good question!  I'm afraid to say it might be... out of habit!  Trying to find the elusive "job that you love so you'll never work a day in your life"...

Teaching is never dull and the holidays are of course a boost.  I used to think of it as a vocation but now I would encourage anyone applying for teacher training to reconsider.  Still very interested in education so it's something I'll try and work out in the future:  a job still in education but not in a conventional classroom.
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: Isla on April 02, 2018, 02:12:33 pm
How much work are pigs?

In my head, all animals are less work than dairy goats but maybe it depends on the human.  Feeling like this thread has been a good process of elimination.  Will start researching and planning a polytunnel.  Then will get my hens back eventually (just five ex-caged hens who are currently at my dad's farm because we had to dismantle their run as part of the house renovations) and then one day pigs.  I went to the Aberdeen and District Beekeepers' Association lectures that form an introduction to beekeeping.  It was a fantastic series of lectures!  However, probably the most salient point was how fragile colonies can be so if I ever have bees it will be when I had time to look after them very carefully.
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: SallyintNorth on April 02, 2018, 07:48:22 pm
Hens then pigs later sounds like a good plan  :thumbsup:   With pigs you can just get a couple of boys to fatten up over the summer, they'll test your fencing skills but otherwise should be mostly fun followed by some wonderful meat. 
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: Big Mat on April 11, 2018, 01:28:10 pm
I'll add my observations here as the father of a 9 week old baby girl.

Don't make and firm plans for your maternity leave, just go with the flow of what is happening. My partner had a emergency c section in the end and thus wasn't allowed to drive or basically do anything other than tend to baby for 6 weeks, although she got signed off to drive at 5 weeks and had to go back to work  ( she takes baby to work with thankfully! ).

She's not been able to do alot of what she would normally do so I've been tending to the animals more than usual, jobs round the house, cooking dinner etc. If she had made plans of things she wanted to Do, I think she'd have gotten annoyed when she hasn't been able to.

No time spent cuddling the baby is wasted time, or sleeping during the day, or spending a few minutes just looking after yourself.

Just my observations from watching my partner go through it!
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: stufe35 on April 11, 2018, 06:57:55 pm
Yep having a child is a full time thing...they say the first 18 years are the hardest.
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: Marches Farmer on April 11, 2018, 07:01:15 pm
On another tack entirely is there a National Childbirth Trust branch in your area?
Probably.  I was just going to go to whatever antenatal classes my midwife sends me to.  NHS ones?  Are there advantages to attending NCT classes rather than whatever the other ones are?  I think one of my friends went to NCT ones because they're on at weekends so it meant her husband could attend without having to take unpaid time off work.  But then I think you have to pay for the NCT ones.  Not sure.
I think there's a nominal charge for membership and the course.  The advantage of the NCT is, in my opinion, that the members really want to be there, to consider the best birthing route for them.  Loads of support from people who'd been there, done that.
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: honeyend on April 12, 2018, 12:34:57 am
My advice on maternity leave is do nothing, because it will be the last chance you will get.
  I would take time to review what really needs to be done as opposed to what you would like to do. As long as every thing gets fed, has water and has a reasonably clean bed, nothing will die.
  I have always hated housework, I was nest building for about a week and it drove me mad, so having a baby is the chance to cut everything to a minimum and invest in a cleaning company to give it a good do once every six months. Top tip, get a good 1600 spin washing machine, and I know some people think they are the devils work, a tumble dryer. I air dry washing and finish it off in the dryer, its great!
  The sun will shine soon so enjoy your baby, that's what's important.
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: Anke on April 12, 2018, 11:47:03 am

On another tack entirely is there a National Childbirth Trust branch in your area?
Probably.  I was just going to go to whatever antenatal classes my midwife sends me to.  NHS ones?  Are there advantages to attending NCT classes rather than whatever the other ones are?  I think one of my friends went to NCT ones because they're on at weekends so it meant her husband could attend without having to take unpaid time off work.  But then I think you have to pay for the NCT ones.  Not sure.
I think there's a nominal charge for membership and the course.  The advantage of the NCT is, in my opinion, that the members really want to be there, to consider the best birthing route for them.  Loads of support from people who'd been there, done that.


While the NCT is really good for baby groups and meeting up in coffee shops/play parks/swimming pools etc (my NCT group still meets 17 years later, but now without the kids in a pub or someone's house for drinks), I have found the ante-natal classes very much focussed on a natural birth only and making women feel that's what they have to choose. If things then don't go to plan (as it did in my case), it makes you feel quite overwhelmed  and guilty (as if it is your fault) at a time when you are not quite your normal self and in my case - for months afterwards. I found the NHS ones were much more open-minded and in our case also involved the midwives from the local GP practices, who were also looking after you. NCT also cost money to join, NHS ones were free.
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: honeyend on April 12, 2018, 01:00:38 pm
I found antenatal classes a complete waste of time. I managed to find a good book about pregnancy and read it cover to cover. My lifestyle even 30years ago bore no resemblance to the rest of the class and I didn't even fit in at mother and toddler, I fortunately found a friend with the same passion as me for four legs and we often penned our children together.
 I think you have to read any information provided from reputable sources, ie NHS, but also keep in mind that like most of life deliveries sometimes do not go to plan, and that is not a failure, just the way it is. I had to have my first child induced, epidural, then was in hospital for 9 days. The second popped out under her own steam, with just some gas. Each birth was special in its own way.
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: Marches Farmer on April 15, 2018, 08:07:39 pm
I'd guess that, like many things, the NHS/NCT script depends on the particular enthusiasms, or not, of the folks involved. 
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: Isla on October 17, 2018, 06:59:12 am
Well labour started spontaneously four days after due date. I did the evening milking with contractions coming every four minutes. Murdo was out with forceps by 4am and my partner returned home around 7am to milk the goats and get all animals fed and watered. We were in hospital for five days due to an infection picked up in hospital. This was a very special time of quietness, cuddles and healing. The staff brought my medicine and meals and fresh sheets and my partner came in with fresh clothes and nappies. All this support meant my son has only worn one disposable nappy in his life.

10 weeks later and my partner is in charge of the animals that live outdoors (goats and sheep) while I manage the indoor living ones. Having the dogs means I’m out walking with my son in a carrier every day. I sold four goats and one of my two milkers is just milked once a day (the other is milk recorded). One of the girls had a staph infection but thank goodness we haven’t had cocci or poisoning or orf or a broken leg.

With hindsight, I should have said no to so many visitors in the first three weeks or at least asked them to leave after an hour. I also should have started co-sleeping sooner! Now I know all about Prolactin! The best item in the baby box is the wrap - no need to put your baby down!

Now I just drop everything for breastfeeding and haven’t even googled polytunnels or pigs. The hens are just going to stay on my dad’s farm and I’ll collect their eggs on our weekly visit to the grandparents. I also paid for a window cleaner!

Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: Scotsdumpy on October 17, 2018, 08:50:20 am
Welcome to baby Murdo! I hope you can manage to raise him on your smallholding - well done to you all!
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: Dans on October 17, 2018, 10:03:03 am
Congratulations and welcome to Murdo.  It sounds like you're settling into it well.

My Rowan is 5 weeks now. Ended up with a section that had complications so still not up to walking fat.  Finding the sling helpful too. Rowan has worn more disposables than his sister had by this age I think but I still can't lift the laundry basket.  I'm finding it hard being do house bound but am breastfeeding and cuddling and they each have their own value.

Enjoy this time. Murdo will be big before you know it!

Dans
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: Isla on October 17, 2018, 03:24:49 pm
Congratulations, Dans! Rowan was on my names list if we had a girl. Best wishes for recovery.
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: Perris on October 17, 2018, 06:43:07 pm
Congrats to you both  :thumbsup: enjoy the babies, but also whatever rest you can get!
Title: Re: Making the Most of Maternity Leave
Post by: Steph Hen on October 18, 2018, 11:34:02 am
Another congrats on the babies! 
I have just given up cosleeping with my nearly 2 year old. It was killing me as he was still on a newborn clock (feeding every 1-2 hours through the night). He was ill with multiple serious food allergies, stopped growing and got thin but is now growing and developing well, so it def worked for him :-)   
Keep up the amazing work of being mummies!