The Accidental Smallholder Forum

Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: bloomer on September 08, 2014, 01:54:22 pm

Title: officially a small holder!!!
Post by: bloomer on September 08, 2014, 01:54:22 pm
forget owning/renting land or livestock...


today i got my first properly purple hand!!!


it must now be official!!!


what other smallholding rites of passage do i need to accumulate?



Title: Re: officially a small holder!!!
Post by: SallyintNorth on September 08, 2014, 01:57:44 pm
 :roflanim:

Constantly smelling of sheep even when bathed and changed

Never having clean fingernails ditto

Always having stains of one colour or another, or several, on fingers and clothing.  At lambing time we all look like chain smokers with our iodine-stained fingers  :D

Good thread - looking forward to reading other contributions  :D
Title: Re: officially a small holder!!!
Post by: HappyHippy on September 08, 2014, 02:06:21 pm
When you've been upended in the mud by your animals or lost a wellie in it  ;)
Accidentally worming yourself  :innocent:
Making sure there's always plenty of feed in for your stock.....but forgetting your own cupboards  ::)
Title: Re: officially a small holder!!!
Post by: plumseverywhere on September 08, 2014, 02:13:11 pm
Removal of bra in the evening only to find lots of hay fall out.  (bloomer, i expect you won't experience this one)
Always feeling self concious that you may smell of goat/sheep/chicken and then becoming paranoid everytime you speak to others at school gates/shops etc
And then there's the baler twine 'belt' , 'braces' and various other fashion trends it may assist with..
Title: Re: officially a small holder!!!
Post by: Fleecewife on September 08, 2014, 03:12:35 pm
Always feeling self concious that you may smell of goat/sheep/chicken and then becoming paranoid everytime you speak to others at school gates/shops etc

Knowing you do smell of goat/sheep/chicken and not giving a toss  :farmer:
Title: Re: officially a small holder!!!
Post by: Anke on September 08, 2014, 04:29:30 pm
Being completely incomfortable in any kind of shoes other than wellies or maybe walking boots...
Title: Re: officially a small holder!!!
Post by: SallyintNorth on September 08, 2014, 05:26:23 pm
Being completely incomfortable in any kind of shoes other than wellies or maybe walking boots...

Not owning any kind of shoes other than wellies and walking boots...
Title: Re: officially a small holder!!!
Post by: benandjerry on September 08, 2014, 06:41:27 pm
 :roflanim: :roflanim: brilliant thread
Title: Re: officially a small holder!!!
Post by: Coeur de Chene on September 08, 2014, 08:07:27 pm
Removing the dog collar, baling twine and clothes pegs that were used at various stages of the day to ineffectively hold back  my hair and that have accumulated in there,...
Being in the supermarket and realising that I am dirtier and scruffier than my 11 year old son....
Putting a meal in front of my family knowing that all the meat, vegetables, herbs and fruit in the whole meal came from OUR land and OUR hard work... :sunshine:
Title: Re: officially a small holder!!!
Post by: Factotum on September 08, 2014, 09:07:35 pm
Getting a slightly crushed foot cos your favourite cow got too close to get the carrots.

OK, the toenail will probably again, but it wasn't her fault - she just loves her carrots and I just didn't get out of the way...

OR

Getting a welly full of 'shud' - the official term for a mixture of mud and, shall I say, more basic stuff originating from a cow's backside.

OR

Walking through knee high snow carrying buckets of water cos the shed trough has frozen and the coos need a drink. Note, if you carry buckets of water through knee high snow 1) you have to do an impression of a Pythonesque silly walk, and 2) you have to carry the buckets above the snow and that is sooo painful after the first 20 yards or so.

Sue

Title: Re: officially a small holder!!!
Post by: Big Light on September 08, 2014, 09:52:55 pm
Picking up and carrying random pieces of binder twine because you know they will come in handy
Title: Re: officially a small holder!!!
Post by: Lesley Silvester on September 08, 2014, 11:41:46 pm
Getting back out of bed because you've remembered (just as you were falling asleep) that you haven't put the sugar beet in soak for the morning.
Title: Re: officially a small holder!!!
Post by: devonlady on September 10, 2014, 08:31:19 am
How odd that you don't mind walking around the shops with muddy, pig smelling trousers as long as you are wearing wellies!
Title: Re: officially a small holder!!!
Post by: funkyfish on September 10, 2014, 10:12:03 am
Getting funny looks from the people in the garage after your cars MOT, your car being full of hay, mud, baler twine and the odd stray pig nut from when the dogs ripped the bag open. I Also get funny looks with the dagging shears, ear taggers and castraters etc being kept in the car.. and and the aroma of stinky wellies and water proofs.
Title: Re: officially a small holder!!!
Post by: bloomer on September 10, 2014, 10:29:58 am
my cars in for mot today and at the last minute i did remember to take the chainsaw and fencing buckets out of the back!!!
Title: Re: officially a small holder!!!
Post by: Bramblecot on September 10, 2014, 10:33:02 am
When the garage men put white paper sheets on your car seats to protect their overalls :innocent: .  And they say 'what is that smell :o '?
Title: Re: officially a small holder!!!
Post by: Anke on September 10, 2014, 12:23:17 pm
my cars in for mot today and at the last minute i did remember to take the chainsaw and fencing buckets out of the back!!!

Yeah... but blokes get away with that much more easily than women... I do often have a bow saw with me, just to make sure that large branch at the side of the road after a storm fits into the van...
Title: Re: officially a small holder!!!
Post by: Fleecewife on September 10, 2014, 12:55:36 pm

No one has ever commented on the small axe we have in a car door pocket - maybe they're afraid to  ;D   It is in case of fire - a friend was trapped in a burning car once, unable to break the windows, and he was badly injured.  On another horrific occasion there was a crashed petrol tanker on fire, and no one had the equipment to get the driver out.   But it could also be useful in the case of fallen wood - that's one of the many reasons we have for having an estate car.  Good for picking up neeps which have fallen off the back of an overloaded trailer too  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: officially a small holder!!!
Post by: bloomer on September 10, 2014, 12:58:12 pm
another one i already do but others have touched on in passing,


you're prepared to scrounge anything you can use that someone else might just be throwing out!!!


(See my thread on sheep hurdle solutions)
Title: Re: officially a small holder!!!
Post by: oor wullie on September 10, 2014, 03:53:07 pm
Getting to the checkout at Tescos, putting you hand in your pocket for you money and finding only a knife.

Last year me and the OH both tried to get through different airports forgetting about the knifes in our pockets.

But is it soo useful at home for just about any job..........
Title: Re: officially a small holder!!!
Post by: sokel on September 10, 2014, 04:13:28 pm
Always feeling self concious that you may smell of goat/sheep/chicken and then becoming paranoid everytime you speak to others at school gates/shops etc

Knowing you do smell of goat/sheep/chicken and not giving a toss  :farmer:
I now laugh when people at the till take a step backwards when you have popped to a shop just after mucking out  ::)
Title: Re: officially a small holder!!!
Post by: Lesley Silvester on September 10, 2014, 11:57:40 pm
I once hitched a lift from a man who had two syringes on his dashboard. Turned out he was the local vet.  :roflanim:
Title: Re: officially a small holder!!!
Post by: ellied on September 11, 2014, 07:24:35 am
Yellow hand from summer fly cream that got through a ripped surgical glove is always fun but when a nurse is clearly thinking of mentioning smoking risks as your nicotine finger belies your claim to giving up in 2006!
Title: Re: officially a small holder!!!
Post by: Womble on September 14, 2014, 08:35:57 pm

We fitted a new chimney liner today. Everything went well except when we came to pour in the sacks of insulation.

I was half way up the ladder for the fourth time, white sack on my shoulder, when I realised the reason this one felt heavier was that it actually contained sheep coarse mix!

I'm so glad I noticed before I started tipping the contents down the chimney!  :relief:
Title: Re: officially a small holder!!!
Post by: Lesley Silvester on September 15, 2014, 12:18:05 am
 :roflanim: