The Accidental Smallholder Forum
Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: suziequeue on July 29, 2014, 10:13:26 am
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High class problem I know but…… much as I love our smallholding, I find I can't really relax here.
Sitting out on our lovely south-east facing back patio having my morning coffee should be an oasis of calm and serenity…… but I just can't relax.
My mind just won't sit still: - …...have I got a red mite infestation in the main chicken house?
- …...the polytunnel needs watering
- …...need to tie that label back on
- …...must chop more onions for the freezer
- …...remember to book train ticket for York on Friday
- ……string up the shallots
- ……where's the dog?
- ……what am I doing sitting here when there is so much to do………..
Am I alone in this???
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Definitely not alone. I certainly recognise the 'where is the dog?'
When the weather is nice I try to sit outside to do some of my crafts but am always looking round to - count the sheep, check the chickens haven't gone on the road, watch out that squirrels aren't pinching the chicken food, make sure the ducklings haven't drowned. I can't properly relax but I'm not sure I would want it any other way. ;D
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I used to be like that, but I have learnt to live in the moment, and give myself permission to enjoy a bit of down time. I find I can get through much more when I get going again, and the pressing jobs don't seem so
urgent after all!
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I am like that too. I find writing a list very helpful, it sort of gets it out of my head on to a piece of paper, and helps me to decide what is urgent and what needs doing but isn't pressing.
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Nope, not alone - my idea of relaxing is getting out and digging over the new veggie beds (winter veg soon to go in), scything or mowing the lawn... We often say we've forgotten how to relax, but then, that's the way we like it. Nearest we get is an excursion somewhere... but that's usually armed with cameras and a 'reference gathering' trip for our artwork, so work really. ;D ...Planting seeds is my most relaxed moment I think and I do get carried away somewhat as a result... then have a million seedlings to transplant!!
...If the alternative is the regular 9-5 with nothing so wonderful to come home to would we really have it any other way?! Often poor, frequently exhausted, but oh so happy to have it so! :excited:
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Definitely not alone .... a to do list which not only gets longer daily but alters daily depending on the weather .... the best way I've discovered to relax is to invite another countryside/smallholder over for coffee ... doesn't happen often but so very relaxing when it happens..... especially when they bring cake (where are you SBTR?!!!)
... now where is the dog ????
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Write a to do list while you are supposedly relaxing - but include some things that you have either completed, almost completed, or won't take long. Then score them off when done. Gives a tremendous boost and you can then reward your self with a couple of minutes emptying your mind of the other jobs!
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I used to be like that but have calmed down a bit since we 'downsized' We realised that we actually did have too much to do and, neither of us being in the best of health, we cut back on the variety of stock we keep. We got rid of the ducks altogether, reduced our sheep breeds to one (although another seemed to sneak in there), we keep sheep numbers right down and we are strict with ourselves over that. We didn't get more pigs, or goats as we would love to do, and I haven't set up my fleece flock again.
We stopped making hay for some of our neighbours, as that was far more stressful than just doing our own, and was way too much work for no return (and they usually managed to be somewhere else at baling/carting/stacking time)
We grassed over a good half of the veg garden and work the rest with machinery where we can. We improved our fencing so stock and dogs can't get out, so no need to worry there. We did have a seep hose for watering the polytunnel but it silted up so we're back to watering with a hose, and that does take up a lot of time. I am learning that I don't have to preserve every single veg and piece of fruit, and I now work out how much we will use, add a bit on for the boys and their families, and once those are made I make no more. Some fruit is wasted, but in fact the birds and hens have a happy feast, and I don't have to chuck out so much unused stuff after a couple of years spoiling in the freezer.
So have a good think about where you could reduce your workload, because being stressed by your smallholding is not what it's all about. Are there areas where you overproduce? Would your stock be less of a problem with reduced numbers? We had found that we made no more from our animals having a smaller flock, once time and feed were taken into consideration, but they were so much healthier with a lower stocking density.
Nowadays, we still have far more to do than we have time for, but it's so much better than sitting in front of the telly bored out of our trees ;D and nothing like as much as we used to push ourselves to do back before we took the decision to downsize.
We did get our front garden poshified, to give me somewhere to sit and relax, but of course there's always weeding to be done, planting out, cutting back etc. I've learnt to say 'sod it' and go back to the job when I feel more up to it.
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...Actually, if I can add to my last... I find browsing the TAS site rather relaxing - knowing that there are so many of us mad fools out there helps no end :roflanim: That's living all right!!
Backinwellies - I hear you... Give me time to finish this pic and we'll see what cake can be rustled up... ;D
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NOPE!
That's pretty much the story of my life. My other half and I had 'words' a few months ago, because it was getting to her a bit and she felt we needed to slow things down a little. I would be grafting all day, come in at dark to eat and unwind, and find myself making lists of what needed doing the next day, and talking to her about it. I have an obsessive personality anyway, so it was getting to her a little.
We decided to try to stop with 'new' things and concentrate on consolidtion, and also plan to get less done each day, being practical, rather than optimistic and being left feeling like not enough had been achieved by each days end. We now just run sheep and pigs, a long with a handleful of poultry.
There will always be worries, and if you are like me, there will always be plans and dreams each day of what could be achieved in the future. But taking the time to just sit down, soak it all up and think / remember why you are doing it all, is very important.
Having said that, just when you sit down to relax is usually when you spot something that needs doing, or one of the bloody animals gets itself ill / injured / in trouble!
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To quote Ideation;
"NOPE!
That's pretty much the story of my life. "
Just about sums it up! :thumbsup:
Plus, to add another to the list - "Where's the money coming from to pay for that?"
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Backinwellies - I hear you... Give me time to finish this pic and we'll see what cake can be rustled up... ;D
:excited:
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I find I can handle the busyness of smallholding stuff ok, and I can handle the stress of working full time...... but not both together! It always feels as though I'm JUST keeping all of the plates spinning, but one wee upset could send the whole lot crashing down!
Thanks for raising this Suziequeue - I'm looking forward to hearing more of what people have to say on this, and how they handle the multi-tasking and feeling of NEVER being "finished" no matter what they do!!
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Oh, I'm never like that - I never sit down ::)
But seriously, I have learnt to live with being a work addict but do take precautions. If I see I have an overload I am quick to take drastic decisions and cut something out. In the mornings I mentally go through the tasks that need doing,whilst in the evenings I have taught myself to go through the things I have acheived during the day and block out the jobs I didn't get round to
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Yesterday evening I went to check my sheep in the field just down the road, just before sunset. A smartly-dressed couple had parked their sports car in the field entrance and were photographing the view.
I pulled up in the ancient Landie with the door hanging off, and climbed out, covered in straw, blood, mud and GKWE (God knows what else) ::) .
We stood there chatting for a while and eventually she said 'Are you counting those sheep?'. 'Err, yes', I replied. 'I do it all the time'. That look of pity came my way.
They had driven out from the town for some fresh air. We watched the sun set together and then she said 'I suppose you see this every evening'. 'Yep' ;D ;D ;D ;D
You pay your money and take your choice ;) .
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Well - got loads done and managed to make a mascarpone lime torte and some more lemon cordial along the way :D
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... the best way I've discovered to relax is to invite another countryside/smallholder over for coffee ... doesn't happen often but so very relaxing when it happens..... especially when they bring cake
I'll try to remember for next time. :D
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Dan's much better at keeping a balance than me and I know I sometimes p*ss him off by nagging about jobs. Sometimes they aren't even important but I see them and they bug me ;D
Tim Tyne has a wee article about this in Country Smallholding this month.
Dan makes me take time off - yesterday we went to the Commonwealth Games shooting - not that we're big shooting fans but it's at the end of our road. It was brilliant - we were totally absorbed and Jen McIntosh won silver and we were there :excited: :excited: :excited:
Tim makes the point that if you jump from job to job, you don't get the satisfaction of finishing anything and the place starts to look like a sh1thole (my word not his ;D ).
We do plan - I have an annual calendar with all the routine jobs listed for each month - so cleaning out the henhouses is in for 1st and 15th of every month and lambing is in for April, for example. I can then, in theory, assess how much "slack" there is in the month (I also add things like courses, holidays and events that we're committed to). We then have a list of one-off projects - and we try and put the projects into the calendar where there is a bit of slack. It's always being reviewed but it does help and the discussion helps us to decide what the priorities are.
It sounds terribly anal when you write it down but we find it helps.
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Some great ideas here. Forcing yourself to have time off is definitely something I have found helps. Although it's a careful balance between enjoying yourself and feeling guilty about all the jobs you could be doing!
I try to plan and write lists as I find it helps (especially the little bit of satisfaction when I can cross jobs off the list) but OH doesn't see the point of lists. He had a day off work yesterday and asked me to help write him a list of things to be done. So I suggested things for the list. We were having a meeting with a potential customer yesterday evening so I said hoover kitchen floor and wipe surfaces. He said I don't need to write that down I know I need to do that. So I arrive home from work yesterday evening straight into the meeting and find...... a non hoovered kitchen floor and crummy surfaces (he often doesn't see the point in using plates either ;) ). Apparently he was too busy doing things on the list :innocent:
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Your OH must know mine ::) !
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Yes - we are going to get a year planner aswell and write key stuff in. I am quite good at driving myself to finish stuff otherwise all the unfinished jobs become even more stressful. Also - there is then an added motivation to finish a job because once it's finished, I can move on to something which seems more interesting.
I am not one of life's completer-finishers so finishing is something that I have to make a conscious effort with…… but I do enjoy the satisfaction of completing a project more because of that really.
Did take a bit of time out today to pop into the local nursery as part of the back garden landscaping project and stopped off at a posh-house gardens place for a spot of lunch. :D :D
Beautiful day - must get another wash out………and finish the raised beds………. and finish stringing up the shallots…….. :roflanim: :roflanim:
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My recipe (which I don't use!) to less stress and more relaxing is not to read posts on here ...
......... I sit down with a cuppa having dealt with many of todays todo's ..... only to read posts on red mite / fly strike / carrot root fly ...... now I have a whole lot of other things to stress over which I hadn't thought of!!!!! .... off to find the dog and check the carrots!!!!
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S We were having a meeting with a potential customer yesterday evening so I said hoover kitchen floor and wipe surfaces. He said I don't need to write that down I know I need to do that. So I arrive home from work yesterday evening straight into the meeting and find...... a non hoovered kitchen floor and crummy surfaces (he often doesn't see the point in using plates either ;) ). Apparently he was too busy doing things on the list :innocent:
Mine is pretty much the same as well. If people are coming, I ask him to run the hoover round (I can't physically do it or I would). He then says he was busy doing something else and wonders why I am worried. "It doesn't look that bad." He's totally blind and makes me so mad when he tells me that something I can see (ie an inch deep on dog hair on the carpet) isn't there.
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Yip sometime the same with me but I like to call most of it planing. None of my family are really interested in my smallholder they will gratefully eat any produce so I am left to do everything and sometimes it's a bit much what with everything else I have to do but hay it has its good bits too and sometimes it's my haven.
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Yes - I've kind of given up on lists for my OH although he does ask me for them sometimes but it's too disappointing when I get home at the end of the week to find that he hasn't done any of the things on it despite asking for a list........
But on balance he's a star. On Monday he fixed the pump which needed re-priming after the rainwater runoff tank had run dry (5000 litres!!! :o :o ) and he can fix complicated things as he has motor know-how which is invaluable.
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He has his uses then? :roflanim:
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relax?......pffft no!
I just had 2 weeks off work from my 'other job' and spent the whole time cleaning out sheds, digging out foundations for a new shed, repairing the stone wall the goats managed to bring down, dismantling the old henhouse/building the new one......
So its back to work on Monday and still feel like I need a break :-\
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My OH is definitely useful (couldn't do this without him). It's just his dislike of lists that amuses/frustrates me. In my ideal world I would also like a list of the big projects/jobs we keep talking about all costed out. Maybe one of those barometer type things they have in churches when they are raising money to fix the roof etc. ( I realise I'm a little bit obsessive about this kind of thing) Anyway that's not going to happen (lists like that are apparently depressing)so I'll just have to imagine them ;D
Two days off 'work' for me now and a big list of things to do - so I better get on with it. Just on hear checking the forecast to see if it's worth spraying the pesky ragwort.
I know what you're saying about time off 'work'. I've had a couple of fortnights off recently and I go back and people ask what I've done and although I've done loads (and feel like I need a break) I'm sure it sounds to them like I've pottered about - stroked a sheep and planted some flowers! I often joke that I only go to work to sit down!
I guess what we really need to get all our jobs done (and MAYBE relax a bit) is more hours in the day. So if someone would like to invent a device which is like a microwave but for sleep. i.e set for an hour, feel like you've had 8 hours that would be great........
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Same here. All my holidays are spent here doing jobs....... but I wouldn't have it any other way.
"Work" is intellectually more demanding but more sedentary. I usually come back to work on Mondays feeling like I've spent the weekend at Reading Rock festival. I'm not really back on all four cylinders until Tuesday and by Wednesday I'm planning stuff for the weekend again!!!
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The most commonly heard line here is "put it on the list". Luckily like others my "relaxation" doesn't usually come in the form of doing nothing. There are jobs that are a pain and not at all relaxing, like feet trimming, topping/ spraying thistles, mending fencing and then the relaxing jobs like picking and shelling peas, weeding the beds and making something out of old paletts. My mother rings every Sunday evening and each week the opening exchange goes like this.
"Hello it's Mum, how are you ?"
" busy" says i
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We have a Gantt chart drawn on the fridge in the kitchen to record progress on various big long-term projects (such as building sheep shelters, pig fencing etc).
Funny how the same old same old seems to not get done year after year. ::) ::) but plenty of stuff does get done.
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I was told if something on your to-do list keeps being deferred then you need to change the 'todo'.
Either it doesn't really need to be on the list (and haunt you as a not done) or you need to break the job down and put just the first step or two on the job list.
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I have to have a list for every day, never mind every year :-\
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We have a daily list and the headings are, essential today, desirable and me. We only put about 5 essential jobs down a day, that have been taken from the top of the desirable and they are only allowed to roll over for 1 working week and then THEY must be done. New jobs are added to the bottom of the desirable list and then the me bit is, what do I need to do today, like Friday yoga :)
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It could be worse, you could live in a run down housing estate in a crime ridden suburb with nothing to do after 5 o clock everyday other than watch tv haha. Thats the way i look at it, you can't beat living in the country.
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No, I don't do relaxing either. And it is difficult, especially when it's a busy time at work- you rush to leave work at 7:15, rush home, gulp some food, rush to do the animals, then back in the house to tidy up the other things (sticking a wash on, washing dishes, hanging washing out etc) before collapsing into bed for 6 hours sleep before it's time to get up again.
But, one of the really great plus points, is that I don't take my day job home with me. There's no room for it, because when I get home it's straight into, oh this hen has hatched chicks, and they need moved, this goat is sick, this needs done tonight so that I can be on track to be ready for a show at the weekend. So I don't carry the stress of a busy job home, because the home life is just so different.
There is never enough time for everything, so as long as the important stuff gets done.
My sister paid me a compliment a couple of weeks ago, she said "I don't know how you manage to work full time and show every weekend, because I find it hard and I don't have a job".
But, I have thought about this before, and I know I'd be bored to tears to live in a town without smallholding to keep me occupied. What do they do after work? I am someone that likes to be busy, and I work best whilst being busy. ;D
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Actually, I think Beth raises a good point - she has a work / smallholding split and manages it well. And Dan I know finds it easier now he has an office in Dundee - he goes to work in the morning and comes home at night and does some stuff about here, and works on the smallholding at weekends. But the smallholding is his relaxation.
I never get away from it so I see all the thing that need to be done (often I just can't physically do them) and get frustrated. And I do get a bit lonely and demotivated. I'm not really complaining though.
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I never get away from it so I see all the thing that need to be done (often I just can't physically do them) and get frustrated. And I do get a bit lonely and demotivated. I'm not really complaining though.
Same here.... but then I do go and show the goats (but not every weekend like Beth....) and that's my time away/hobby...
As I had to give up my job after having children (I was constructively dismissed like so many other women) and had to find some alternative to keep me busy and raise the family, I now find as the girls get older I do get a lot more done and this year I even have a promising vegetable crop. I have learned to leave some things un-done (or partially done) and don't really care about the state of the house, the state of me (in terms of tidiness that is) and can sit down with some knitting/spinning or a book right next to the basket full of clothes waiting to be folded...
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It is tough working full time and managing a smallholding though, and the self imposed guilt doesn't help :( . For instance, I'm perfectly aware that we currently have no hot water or central heating, so there's just no need for Mrs Womble to keep reminding me about it every two months - she must know by now that it only annoys me! :innocent: