The Accidental Smallholder Forum
Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: Mallows Flock on July 05, 2012, 10:56:31 pm
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I just need a QUICK rant....
Have just had a rather scathing message on my Facebook from a very pro-breastfeeding person related to my son on his dad's side as I mentioned that I had always had a massive fear of breastfeeding. (Me doing it...no probs with anyone else doing it anywhere they please). Apparently I should know BETTER being so called into animals and what not and I should wholeheartedly SUPPORT people who ARE doing the best thing for their children (sounding suspiciously like a judgement against my choice and parenting ability as I chose to bottle feed!)
Yes... I prefer my lambs on their mum and for all to have colostrum and mothers milk for pref a week but I am not sure why that makes my CHOICE to bottlefeed my son wrong and how my opinion, choices and situation have invited someone to rip the hell into me because my values are not the same as hers.
My main annoyance tho, if I can admit to it, is that I have allowed this self-confessed 'lactivist''s comments to make me feel pretty shamed. I feel shamed for not having breastfed and feel even more shamed that I had the 'nerve' to mention it out-loud let alone the horrid feeling surrounding the BEING WRONG for my choice.
Rant over. off to look at lamb piccies to make mew feel better! :-[
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I breastfed my children way back when the bottle was THE way, and I was treated to shock and horror that I could perform such an unnatural act as to breastfeed ;D It makes me laugh now that fashion has changed but at the time it was difficult to manage under that sort of pressure.
Your critics are just ignorant of the full picture. Your children will grow up healthy whether you breast or bottle feed, and there are far greater things in life to worry about than that. Just ignore them and keep smiling 8) .
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You do what feels right and suits YOU :thumbsup:
As long as mum's okay, then baby will always be okay.
I breastfed mine for a wee while then mostly they went onto bottles. After no. 4 was born (after my first hospital birth because she was breach) I was stressed to the max and my milk dried up - it had been 16 hours of trying to feed her to no avail, I asked the nurse on the ward for a bottle for her and was told NO - I had to see a breast feeding advisor ::) 3 hours of someone who didn't have children telling me why it was so important :-\
It's fair enough being pro breastfeeding - but there has to be respect for folks choices, regardless of what they are ;)
Hope you feel better soon, don't let her get to you :-*
Karen :wave:
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Fleecewife and Happy Hippy are quite right....what is best for you is best for baby.
How dare this bl**dy woman pass comment on your choice! I bet she wouldn't have said it to your face.
Tell her to p*ss off and then block her, she ain't worth your time.
Nice piccies of lambs?
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Your body, your choice. simple as that.
How to start a row on FaceBook : Post something, wait. :innocent:
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I'd have to echo whats been said already,,,,happy mum = happy baby i bet your son is happy and healthy.....mine are...they're 19 and 20 big strapping lads and yes i did breast feed.......so are my sisters boys......18 and 21....and she didn't :wave:
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OK - I have 4 children. I started to breastfeed all of them but my second I had to stop because I developed the severest form of postnatal illness at 10 days. (puerperal psychosis) and went onto very hardline medication. At the time I felt awful that I had 'failed' her but....
3 out of my 4 girls now have eczema if they go anywhere near cows milk or anything that contains it. Why? because breastfeeding didn't expose them early enough to what bottle/formula milk does - ie. cow's milk which is used in so many food items in the UK! Eloise can eat or drink whatever she likes, Milli, INdia and Scarlett are limited. Milli has also possibly developed asthma. Is breast best? not sure now!!
In short, breast isn't best - happy mum=happy baby, surely that's best!!
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You can see why people DON'T use facebook. (another discussion at another time, maybe?) I had eclampsia when my eldest child was born and was so ill for three weeks I couldn't feed him so he was bottle fed. The other three were breast fed, in fact I think I could have been a champion in a dairy animal show! (my youngest was three before she was persuaded to give up!!)
There has been absolutely no difference in their health or developement, physically or emotionally.
Breast feeding does give you an excuse to sit down with a good book, it's free, always sterile and the cat can't steal it but bottle feeding, these days, is just as good for the child provided, in my opinion, that you sit down and feed it. Eye contact when feeding is important to a baby.
So, don't take any notice of anybody else, do what suits you. More important to a child is love and security and the knowledge that, come what may, you are always on their side. :) :)
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Sylvia- I was thinking exactly the same about Facebook. Glad I don't do it.
Breastfed both of mine until they weaned themselves at about 14 months of age. It came very easily to me and I was told that they were putting on more weight than would be expected of bottle fed babies. So for me it was more convenient than the routines that go with bottle feeding. To me it is the most natural option and so the best - just as it is for our lambs or any other creature.
HOWEVER - I was appalled at the pressure put on other mum's in the ward to breast feed. Some of them were quite young and were literally in tears as they attempted to feed their newborns. They were so distressed when they had no milk or their babies wouldn't latch on. Midwives were really not supportive in the real sense of the word but just made the women feel guilty. Not a good start with your new arrival!
I echo others' words
Happy mum/Happy baby
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Sandy, I know you and I know you wouldn't do that. Perhaps Doganjo is referring to someone else - you are far too nice to do petty daft stuff. I wish you'd come back and stay on TAS as you are a much loved, popular member here - I know for a fact I am not alone in saying that xxxx
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Is that who it is? I'm a bit slow, I'm afraid. ::) It's all a bit beyond me - just don't see the need.
All I will say is that as quite a newbie to this site , I used to enjoy reading your posts too, Sandy.
Agree with Plums - just come back. :eyelashes: ;D We have the ignore button now.
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I am sick to death of this nonsense between Annie and Sandy, which has now moved to Facebook where TAS is being dragged into it.
If they don't stop it, I will. I am fed up spending time trying to sort out their spats. Dan and I have worked very hard to get this forum up and running and my tolerance of this cr*p has just hit rock bottom.
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Tis done Rosemary, 'Bye, see you sometime
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Am I being particularly thick or was this rant about breast feeding and where did Dangerous dogs come in. ??? . Oh and why is everyone falling out with each other. :'( I for one hate it :'(
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have you ever seen a dangerous dog bottle feed? maybe that's the link.
Its definitely the weather, we are all fractious and falling out. Its because we are all holed up and want to be out 'there' doing smallholding. I think I'm off to make some jam.
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Given all this weeks shenanigans i thought it was just something in the water north of the border! ;D
But agree Plums its the weather its getting everyone down
Jam making is a good idea a very sunshiny job! Might bake this afternoon thats a feel good job too! something chocolatey yum!
Peace & love everyone!
mandy :pig:
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I cannot tell you how upsetting I have found this week. Dan and I have spent a lot of time trying to get these forums "right" and frankly, this week has felt like people coming into MY HOME looking for a fight.
Indeed, I think I'd now ask people to use that as the benchmark "Would you behave like this in our home?" If the answer is no, then don't post it; if the answer is "yes" then be prepared to be removed from our guest list.
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in a way the three are conected it is just one of these things that forums have a nack of diversifying
yes it is about breastfeeding with the link to faceplant but posts have now been removed i would suspect to protect TAS
well faceplant will not bother me i just dont do it and if anybody wants to talk or write about me then they are leaving some other poor sod alone :farmer:
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i am in complete agreement rosemary it is funny how some try to be helpfull and give advice and impart knowledge and others just want your head on a pole
i can see it turning into any posts being very patronising or no posting at all :farmer:
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i am in complete agreement rosemary it is funny how some try to be helpfull and give advice and impart knowledge and others just want your head on a pole
i can see it turning into any posts being very patronising or no posting at all :farmer:
I think most folk can manage to post in a helpful and friendly way without being patronising.
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Well said Rosemary,
Getting back to breastfeeding, my mum had three strapping boys , ( 10.25 lb, 10.o lb &10.25 lb ) she breast fed us all 1937-1946, not a lot of choice then , but with me , the youngest, she got thrown off a bus because of it, mind you I was 18 ! ( better stick the smilie on before folks take me serious ) :innocent:
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but with me , the youngest, she got thrown off a bus because of it, mind you I was 18 ! ( better stick the smilie on before folks take me serious ) :innocent:
;D ;D ;D
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Tiz, you do cheer people up ;D
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I was born in 1945 and there wasn't many breasts about, as there had been a big war going on.
I quickly learned how to bang a couple of holes in a tin of Nestles condenced milk and help myself.
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;D ;D
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I was born in 1945 and there wasn't many breasts about, as there had been a big war going on.
I quickly learned how to bang a couple of holes in a tin of Nestles condenced milk and help myself.
:thumbsup: ;D
Nice to see a man's perspective on breastfeeding. Must have been a shock when you reached the sex education bit in life though..... ;)
Also to say also disappointed in recurring bickering; take it off-line, use facebook even (I don't have an account - and I don't think anyone over the age of 30 should..... but of course just my opinion: if its personal keep it personal, please)
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a mans perspective on breastfeeding?? well i have fed my daughter since she was born,due to her mothers illness. she was premature by 8 weeks and only 1lb 7oz, yep you read that right. she was in itu for 3months and sent home with me at 4lb. for obvious reasons i couldnt breast feed her but what i used to do was bottlefeed her skin to skin so she could hear my heartbeat. i think thats the key to successful feeding, proper body contact and closeness, shes now 12 and 5ft 2 and 6stone of pure muscle and beats me up regularly.
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;D ;D ;D :thumbsup:
You're a star.
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shes now 12 and 5ft 2 and 6stone of pure muscle and beats me up regularly.
Good to know she knows how to treat a bloke - you've done a great job ;D
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Thank you all for your lovely kind words and experiences.... :wave: I have to admit I was gobsmacked. I am not the argumental type and could never understand the hype around Facebook causing problems between people until now. I have used it for 7 years to keep in touch with friends in Australia and Scotland successfully but last night's experience has led me to question whether I actually NEED Facebook and I concluded pretty quickly that the answer is a firm NO! LOL! So I have deactivated my account.
I was a VERY happy mum bottle feeding which is something my son's father and I discussed with the midwife prior to birthing and in my particular situation we all agreed that bottle was best in this instance. Having been diagnosed with Chronic Post Traumatic Stress we all felt that the potential stress and uncertainty regarding the guaranteed success of breastfeeding was not conducive to my health as a new mum. My son slept through the night from day one, put on weight well and is very healthy...NINE YEARS ON!!!.
I also applaud women who do breastfeed and more so the women who breastfeed first and successfully move to formula despite, in cases, pressure to 'keep at it'.
I think the whole debacle was more to do with the person's particular strong views on an issue she is heavily involved in and I didn't fit into that ideal so I had to be publically flogged... didn't Hitler have a similar regime way back when! LOLOL! Miaow!
Anyway, I hope the TAS Forum stays friendly...I like it here and everyone seems so nice, supportive and helpful.
Rosemary... my rant wasn't about anyone on here if that's what you were thinking... I just had a bee in my bonnet and needed to see it in writng to get it out of my system! :)
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Aw Mallows, did you have postnatal PTSD? If so, have you come across the Birth Trauma association? PM me if you need more info - I worked with them voluntarily during my counselling years as I specialised in pnd and birth trauma having suffered both xx
Facebook can be great for keeping in touch with distant family and friends but can also be evil - I have had my own problems with a local fruit loop making threats towards me on FB, probably will deactivate my account properly one day ::)
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with faceplant this must come under the telegraphic and com-unications act( we may think we are in a free society but every aspect is covered by a law or act of parliament ) which is illegal to send threats of harm to a person or a sexual nature just print it off take it to plod and complain if no action take there number and report them to the chief constable :farmer:
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they only take action if you are specifically named, in our case fruit loop was surprisingly clever enough not to, although saying he "likes goat curry" narrowed us down ::) Police came and took notes but couldnt' go and warn fruitloop - this time.