The Accidental Smallholder Forum
Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: faith0504 on March 16, 2011, 03:19:18 pm
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My OH has just been diagoinsed with cancer, mouth cancer, he went to the docs 2 weeks ago, because he had what looked like a big ulcer on the roof of his mouth, it was giving him ear ache, and he was due to be flying out long haul this week end to start a new job, he didnt want to fly with a bad ear so asked doc for tablets, his doctor referred him the next day to the hospital as he didnt know what was up with him, anyhow x ray, camera, photos, ect he went to see consultant today, and was told the news, he is currently still at the hosp having an mri done, and he is being admitted on monday to be operated on, on tuesday,
im at home as i still cant sit with my back, i arranged for his son to come up to spend some time with us last week so his son is at the hospital with him, at the moment, they should be home about teatime.
please can anyone help me as to how i should deal with this, i know we have to stay positive, im in shock at the moment i think.
sorry if this doesnt make much sense, tried to get it all down as best i can, dont really know what to do next, apart from be strong for my Oh and his son,
:'( :'( :'( ???
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Everybody deals with things differently try to see if you can speak to a macmillan nurse they are very special people and help you through things.
It is really sad news and devestating to the people closest.
I send my love and huge hugs for everyone, try to keep smiling and remember everyday we have is special (which I know all too well) :bouquet:
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thanks mate :bouquet:
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I think you need to speak to at least your GP if not the consultant as you will need to be involved in after care after the operation. I imaging he may need specially prepared food apart from anything else. Yes, obviously you need to stay positive but that is difficult to do. My cousin has had breast, brain and lung cancer and is now in remission so it isn't all bad. I think when they do the operation they'll have a better idea of the action needed afterwards - radio and chemo therapy for example. In the meantime, you need to look after yourself so you can help him, and you can blow off steam on here. We are all thinking of you.
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The word cancer does turn your life upside down, all I can say treatmeant today saves life. I am still here and doing well and people who were treated same time as myself are the same. I knew of one man who had what your husband has, his treatmeant was not so straight forward as most of us but he survived and is still going strong as i see him when we have our yearly check ups. Take each day as it comes, he will need all your help to cope over the coming weeks. If you feel down some days talk to a good friend or the MacMillan nurse about all your concerns. They can advise over money worries if he is unable to work and give you both the support you will need. Keep talking to him so he does not bottle things up. I wish you both well and hope you get some good news over the coming weeks.
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I have no words of wisdom I'm afraid, but am thinking of you at this worrying time. :bouquet:
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thank you so much, we have only been together 18 months, know eahc other for 6 years, i moved up to scotland so we could and can live both ours dreams, moved into our dream small holding in september last year, we have so much we want to do together, i will have to go to the hosp with him on monday, somehow, its a 2 hour drive from here to the hospital, im a fighter by spirit, will get my head round this.
Thanks for letting me chat im along way from my family, :bouquet:
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You must both be in turmoil at the moment, you need to talk to help deal with things, we all are around for suppost :bouquet:
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Thoughts are with you both at this moment, as another post said, just the word cancer turns your life upside down, the shock must be tremendous. Am hoping for you and your OH that the fact he went to the GP so quickly and was referred so quickly will mean that treatment will be started very soon. And the outcome will be good.
I too moved to Scotland to be with my OH and I know how you feel being so far away from family and friends, like the saying, its good to talk, just having someone to talk to can sometimes be difficult.
We are here for you, post all you like, ramble if you have to, we are here, reading your words and trying to offer help and support.
Love to you all at this time, keep us posted. xxx
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Hello Faith, I'm so sorry - what a terrible shock for you all.
I think Sabrina hit the nail on the head when she said the word cancer can turn your world upside down. YOu need some time to come to terms with the diagnosis. You will, I am sure, amaze yourself with a hidden strength that will come forward after this and you will be able to face with your partner, all that is thrown your way treatment wise.
Keep talking to the professionals. Once you are armed with information the situation becomes slightly less scary. Fear of the unknown is the worst fear with any illness but especially cancer.
Remember that there have been so many advances in cancer care and that cure is possible and common place compared to several years ago.
keep talking Faith, it helps so much and you know you can message me on FB as well if you need a chat
Lisa xxx
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Hello... what can anyone say.
You will feel totally sick to your stomach, frightened, unsure and utterly fragile. Be true to yourself, feel all your emotions.....and be human. You will not be the person he loves if you switch off your feelings to try to protect him. None of us are superhuman, we can be strong for our loved ones but we have to accept that we will get it wrong, say the wrong things, and want to scream cry etc. Let him be strong for you, too!
I am going through an awful horrible illness with my daughter- she is starting to relapse at the moment. It breaks my heart to see her suffer and to know that this wont have a good ending...but, I still get angry with her, yell at her.... have blazing rows etc.... as well as laugh and giggle... I dont hold back just because she is ill. Its tough, but it is not just life, but living that is important!! .....Remember to laugh and giggle, too!!
a big dollop of virtual HOPE coming your way....Emma T
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Huge hug for you Faith. You're bound to be terrified all of you. They thought I had cancer a year ago and it took a week to confirm it wasn't. In that week I aged 20 yrs with the worry scared stiff it's only natural when the big C is mentioned so I can imagine how you all feel with confirmation.
It is truly amazing how strong people can be and what you will find you can deal with but keep talking take each day at a time and try to stay positive. Sending hugs and will say prayers for you all :bouquet:
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Faith my heart aches for you all. On the positive side, my friend has just reached her 13th year after an op for cancer of the liver. At the time of the operation they were giving her six months at the best. Well she is still here, taking care of her second generation family, and a very fit and active lady. She always says that her friends and family support and the fact that everyone kept very positive was the biggest boost and the reason, she feels, that she is here and enjoying life still.
Badly put, sorry hope though this makes some sense.
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THANK YOU EVERYONE,
They are on there way back from the hospital now, should be home teatime, got my orders to make sure the kettle is on, lots of talking and hugs tonight i think, and possibly the odd tear,
I plan to make the most of the next 4 days, with him before battle commences, on monday, i think that is the best way.
This is going to be one hell of a roller coaster ride, i think, scared to death if im honest, and in shock, cant stop shaking.
Thank you :bouquet:
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If you can, come on here and let us know how you are, sometimes just having someone to talk to, even if via a web site, can be very supportive.
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Thinking of you all with love :bouquet: Sue
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Oh! Faith what a shock that must be, I wish you and you OH all the very, very best. It will be a difficult time for you both, but you must be strong for his sake. He's going to need you more than ever right now. Chin up and let us know how things progress - I'll be thinking of you. :wave: :bouquet: :hshoe:
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What a massive shock for you all. You need to all be able to talk about you fears and feeling. Be strong for each other. My thoughts are with you good luck for Monday :bouquet:
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the words are not mine but theyhave helped me through really awful times - My prayers are with you...................
May you always have an angel by your side
Watching out for you in all the things you do
Reminding you to keep believing in brighter days
Finding ways for your wishes and dreams
To take you to beautiful places
Giving you hope that is as certain as the sun
Giving you the strength of serenity as your guide
May you always have love and comfort and courage
And may you always have an angel by your side
May you always have an angel by your side
Someone there to catch you if you fall
Encouraging your dreams
Inspiring your happiness
Holding your hand and helping you through it all
In all of our days, our lives are always changing
Tears come along as well as smiles
Along the roads you travel,
May the miles be a thousand times more lovely than lonely,
May they give you the kind of gifts that never, ever end:
Someone wonderful to love
And a dear friend in whom you can confide
May you have rainbows after every storm
May you have hopes to keep you warm
And may you always have an angel
By your side...
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Thinking of you.
K
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Love and hugs from me
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some words to inspire you..............
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
Whe he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It might be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
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one last poem - i will be watching this thread and hope it all works out for you both
Footprints in the Sand
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"
The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints,
is when I carried you."
Mary Stevenson
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Thinking of you , Lynn
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Don't know what to say but good thoughts & prayers wing their way thro' the eether to you all.
Mandy x
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Hello... what can anyone say.
You will feel totally sick to your stomach, frightened, unsure and utterly fragile. Be true to yourself, feel all your emotions.....and be human. You will not be the person he loves if you switch off your feelings to try to protect him. None of us are superhuman, we can be strong for our loved ones but we have to accept that we will get it wrong, say the wrong things, and want to scream cry etc. Let him be strong for you, too!
I am going through an awful horrible illness with my daughter- she is starting to relapse at the moment. It breaks my heart to see her suffer and to know that this wont have a good ending...but, I still get angry with her, yell at her.... have blazing rows etc.... as well as laugh and giggle... I dont hold back just because she is ill. Its tough, but it is not just life, but living that is important!! .....Remember to laugh and giggle, too!!
a big dollop of virtual HOPE coming your way....Emma T
Hello Faith, pikililys' post says it all as far as I can see. We are here for you to talk to and you can talk as much as you like. If you want someone to shout at and swear at to make you feel better then pm me and you can have my mobile number.
We've got friends going through similar so know a little of what you are going through.
Be strong for him but be sure to look after yourself too. Our friends have done research which seems to show that reducing sugar in the diet helps too. Perhaps someone could look in to this for you.
Here's a huge HUG for you guys and best bishes too.
Good luck,
Ian
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My thoughts are with you
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Faith, thinking of you and your OH - hope all goes well! :bouquet: :&>
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I'm sorry to hear that, Faith. Try to be strong and commited to your dream. Don't suppress your emotions.
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Can only second all the thoughts that hae been posted already.
Remember to take care of yourself so that you have the strength to support your OH
All the best
Tish
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I can't add anything to what's already been said except to say that we're thinking of you and your family and hoping that next week's news is positive :bouquet:
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Faith, what a terrible shock.
thoughts are with you & your partner, and his son as you get through this. be strong, but look after yourself too
:x
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Faith, I was so sorry to hear your news. It's one of the toughest things anyone has to deal with. My late husband had cancer of the oesophagus which started off as a kind of discomfort after eating. The doctor treated it as indigestion for the first couple of months. Glad yours seems to be more on the ball.
You've got a huge amount to deal with, but please do remember to look after yourself. You'll be expected to be strong and resilient for lots of people (when Tony was diagnosed, I was 29 and had a two-year-old son to think about, along with Tony's children from a previous marriage, plus his elderly mother and others - and I was working 14 hours a day in a pretty tough job).
It's easy to try and be Superwoman and forget about your own shock and grief and the fact that YOU need comforting too. You can suddenly find yourself completely exhausted, forgetting to eat etc.
I hope you have someone close you can confide in and ask for help with everyday things whilst the op, hospital visits and stuff are going on. Don't be afraid to shout for help. Sometimes you have to. I didn't and I eventually fell apart for a while (but then fortunately pulled myself together again and became a much stronger person).
You've certainly got a lot of people you can talk to on here, and I hope that will provide some support. If I can be of any help at all, please feel free to message me.
Thinking of you
Liz x
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Thinking of you and OH - take care of each other - stay positive.
Love and huge hugs to you both xxx
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So sorry you are having to go through this ....sending lots of good vibes to your OH.
I am sure the hospital will put you in touch with someone who can give you support, and help to deal with this.
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YOU GUYS ARE ALL AMAZING,
It means so much thank you all, we have had a hard but productive evening chatting about things, and its been decided that we are going to enjoy the next 4 days together, have some fun and a laugh, and then let battle commence on monday.
We are also going to bring our wedding forward, im going to see the registar about a quick wedding permit tomorrow, our wedding has had 2 dates up to now!!!!! the first was 16th may 2011, then with oh going to work away it was put off until 16th may 2012, we are now hoping for the 4th april, and just in case we have to get married in the hospital the dress code is tartan pyjamas, even if we get to marry at home. oh and tartan slippers ;) ;)
This journey is probably the worst big dipper ride i have ever been on, but one day at a time, i think is the way to cope.
once again thanks for the support and lovely poems, reckon im going to read them all over and over again over the next week or so.
:bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: TO YOU ALL
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Just you confirm which date you decide on and on that day we will ALL wear something tartan - it may not be pyjamas but it will be tartan - wherever we are! :bouquet:
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hi doganjo, i will let you know when i have seen the registar tomorrow, apparently if i get the paperwork done tomorrow we can get married 15 days after, which is the 1st of april so the 4th should be ok, its my birthday as well so everything crossed :bouquet:
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The wedding plans sound wonderful - carpe diem!
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Faith,
I'm so very sorry you've had such bad news and can only echo what has already been said - stay positive, and keep going. We're here for you to talk to and vent off at as and when you need it. Hopefully, because it's been diagnosed so quickly and the hospital and GP are moving quickly it'll be nipped in the bud.
Dan.
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I will hold you all in my prayers, stay positive, as you can see you are surrounded by love :bouquet:
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Hi Faith
--thinking of you
:bouquet:
sending love and light your way ------
Tilly
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sending good vibes and positive thoughts your way :bouquet:
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Got the tartan ribbons already ...... make it a perfect day ...... HM
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Just seen this - what a shock to you both but I'm glad you are bringing forward the wedding and enjoying your few days before the battle commences. I'll gladly wear tartan of some kind on 4 April and send you healing thoughts - I'm teaching a group in the evening so probably not pyjamas but you never know ;)
My mum had kidney cancer and I know what a fright the C word brings and how easy it is to lose yourself in the battle and the support for everyone else - do make time for yourself and like everyone on here I'm glad to be any use/support I can be.
I guess what I'd also advise is to remember why you got together and why you came to Scotland to set up your dream life together, don't lose sight of the dream and focus only on the nightmare, continue to create a future no matter what.. if you stop looking at the light at the end of the tunnel, you can get lost in the darkness but keep walking with your focus ahead to where the sun shines and you will get there with support from all kinds of unexpected places.
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Talk away. I know only too well what being away from family and close friends can do to your mental state - especially when you have such a lot on your shoulders.
Sending you lots of love and strength. :bouquet: :)
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thinking of you x sending u a big hug 0000 :love:
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Thinking of you and how life can change in a flash, enjoy what you can when you can is my motto, cease the day!!! :bouquet:
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so sorry to hear the news Faith , hope you and OH are keeping on top of things . I am not religious nor a believer but I will say a payer to all deities , gods, whatever , just in case one is listening !!! Keeping everything crossed for you both ,
love and best wishes Russ
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Thanks once again for all your kind posts and wonderful words, it means so much, even though they bring a tear to my eye.
We have had a good day today, a positive but busy day, i go for accupuncture once a week for my back and today i arranged for the lady to give my OH a massage to help relax him a wee bit, it worked and was also nice to watch, he has his moments, of feeling very scared but lots of hugs and whispers in his ear are working wonders.
The plans for the wedding are going ok, told everyone i.e family, the registar was shut today so hopefully we will get it booked tomorrow, the only person that hates the idea of pjs for the wedding is my mother, everyone else has given it the thumbs up, we have changed it to nightwear, in tartan.
I have spent alot of time on the phone today, letting folk now which is very hard, its all very surreal at the moment, cant really belief this is happening, its not until i sit or lay down it hits me like a sledge hammer, not a very nice feeling.
On the whole im doing ok, on the outside anyhow (if that makes sense) feel like im crying and torn apart inside, but i want to keep strong for him, i have all the time in the world next week when he is in hospital to cry, and sit and think, i enjoying having time with him, at the moment savouring every moment.
Im dreading next week when he is not here, i fill up when i think about it, it feels me full of alsorts of awful scary thoughs, but i have got the week end to mentally prepare for it, one day at a time, even one hour at a time if i need to.
God im scared
My animals are being amazing as always, they give me a sense of normality, which i think will help and get me through,
Theses flowers are for you all :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet:
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Oh Faith I've shed a few tears just reading the posts and thinking of you all. Keep strong chick we're all praying for strength for you :bouquet: :bouquet:
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we'll wear Tartan down in England-shire for you both too, if you like.
better not choose April 1st .... ::D
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Hi Leanne. Such a terrible time for you - my thoughts are with you both. My OH and I have been through what you are doing now so I know the terror, horror and fears you will have. So many positive thoughts are coming your way - I'm sure they helped with us and I hope they do with you too. Once this is all over you will emerge as a stronger couple, changed but together. How wonderful to be planning your wedding - April 4th, that will be a great day :) :bouquet:
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Oh Faith, I've only just read this. So sorry to hear- and I can only echo some of the other beautiful posts on here.
It is possible to fight it, my uncle had the same kind of cancer, and had to have a big op- in the end some of his jaw and tongue removed. BUT- it worked, and he has got over it, and adjusted, and is enjoying life.
We can all be taken at any second- it only takes a moment, so try and enjoy every moment.
Beth
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Everyone has been great on here, knowing i have an outlet, and somewhere i can write down my thoughts and fears, plus the good, will help, it will be a good release for me, im wont ever beable to thank everyone enough for letting me do it, your all great. :bouquet:
please dare with me though im not the worlds best at expressing myself, cant always get the words down how i want them to be, and get gumbled up,
Everyone is asleep now so im just having some me chill time, its been along day, im worn out, but my head is racing, wish i knew how to take the batteries out ??? ::)
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Want to post my support and hugs to you Faith and I should have done it earlier, so sorry your going though this ..... what do I say that will help, I don't know I really don't, I smile, even on the most horrid days when the animals do mad things so I hope yours do that for you, wishing you and OH better days x Clare
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Just keep doing what you're doing. Write down what you want and feel. No one will judge you and we will only support you. We're here to listen and send waves of good, healing vibes.
Sleep well.
Ian
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Its a glorious morning here, slight frost on the ground blue sky, mr sun is getting up, hardly any wind, its a feel good day, you have to enjoy these days, spring in the air, the smell of freshness and new life coming through.
Today will be a good day ;) :wave:
hope everyone has a productive positive day :bouquet: :bouquet: :wave: :wave:
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It's like that here too, I'm just having a quick look to see how you are then I'm off out with my dogs to the woods. Stay with that good feeling, Faith, remember the song - it's gonna be a bright sunshiny day; love to you and your man xx
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hope your husband beats this horrible disease. Try to stay strong and face it head on together. BEst wishes.
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Only just seen your post.
I'm a doctor, and have been part of a team treating facial cancer. Try to be positive: many of these cancers can be treated by surgery and radiotherapy. I've reviewed patients still going strong more than 10 years after their diagnosis.
Try to get an idea of the outlook from the consultant. Be blunt: I'm sorry to say that we doctors are too often afraid of frightening patients and their families to be honest. The truth is always less frightening than your worst fears.
Be strong for each other, and good luck.
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Thats such a nice post Tiva DIva, I agree, there are plenty of people walking around the planet that have had some horrendus illnesses etc and after treatment, live on!!!! I am sure he will be fine after treatment, as I said earlier, you never know what life throws at you!!!!!
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Thank Tiva Diva, the consultant was very open and honest on wednesday, which my OH really appreciated, "the truth hurts but lies worse", im all for frank, open and honest talk, i would rather know what is going on and deal with it, im going with my OH on monday to meet the consultant and have a chat with him, we wont know until monday or tuesday if it is actually operable, when the doc has seen the mri, everything is crossed so that it can be operated on, and the operation is successful, then radio therapy, then full recovery, the unoperable option is not something i cant comtemplate at the moment.
He has had a hard day today, he is not able to do as much before he gets tired, which he finds frustrating, he has slept alot today and been sore, weight is dropping off him, which is quiet scary, 1 stone in the last two weeks, and im sure he has lost some this wednesday his trousers seem so loss, i have not said anything its just my observation, but his appetite is good, apart from its sore when he eats, he is eating well.
The wedding is booked we saw the registar this after noon, all the forms and id are sorted, and the process has started, were having a humanist wedding at home(hopefully) we get married on the 4th april( my birthday) we can change the location to the hospital if needed. That really picked both of us up this afternoon, cant wait ;D ;D
Everyone has taken the nightwear dress code very well, everyone gets as to why and also agrees it will be a laugh, (apart from my mother ::) she is not very happy, but hey ho she will get used to it, nightwear it is) a friends son is going to do the bagpipes for us, my OHs son is going to do the food for us.
I just need to pick myself a nice item of nightwear ??? ::) and decide on the vows we want to say, arranging the wedding is definately giving my OH something positive to think about, its taking his mind off things, which has got to be a bonus.
DOGANJO i went on utube this morning and listened too "its going to be a bright sunshiny day" i have been singing it in my head alday, thanks :wave:
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Clothing is nothing, just enjoy your bright shinning day!!
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I had a blonde moment with the registar yesterday ::) she was talking about the bride, and i sat there thinking, who is she talking about, ???, then about 5 minutes in i looked at my OH and said is that me ::) ::), they both looked at me and said yes ::), i went bright red :o, it didnt dawn on me till then ::)
An other lovely day here, so hopefully i can keep the positive mood going today, keeping waking up thinking is this nightmare over, but no its still here, so a few brews, then take on today, and make it a good one, and the animals are being fantastic, keeping me busy, keeping me grounded, and making me smile,
Hope everyone has a good day today, with whatever you do :bouquet: :wave:
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Good luck to you both
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Faith you are an inspiration.....in your honour I got on my naughty mare today, and rode 'in the moment'. I kept saying to myself 'just do it today, you might not be able to tomorrow' ....and tomorrow i will do the same; enjoy the day, as you have said, and make the most of it.
it was the most wonderful feeling....thank you, thank you, thank you!!! :-* :-* :-*
thank you so much for the kick !!
Emma T
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oh bless, well done you, positive thinking goes along way, please let me know how you get on with her, i bet your still flying high :bouquet: :wave:
Were all doing ok, OH is doing ok, he gets tired very quickly, but were keeping his spirits up and having a laugh, he has been sorting out our wedding service today, because were having a humanist wedding we can decide and create our own vows and the content, he has been remminising over how we met, escapeeds we have had, and putting all our adventures together to make our wedding service, im still struggling trying to word my vows but i will get there, my head is struggling to concentrate on any one thing for to long, but it will be sorted by tomorrow, when we meet up with the wonderful gentleman that is going to marry us.
OH has just realised that it is his last day at home before battle comences on monday, extra effort from me and his son needed to tomorrow, i think.
We can fall to bits when were home alone next week, i dont want to at the min, as he is worrying enough, dont want him worrying anymore.
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My thoughts and best wishes are with you both, all the time Faith. :bouquet:
Ian
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oh bless, well done you, positive thinking goes along way, please let me know how you get on with her, i bet your still flying high :bouquet: :wave:
I won't bore you with details (may tell you one day) but I have had to stay strong twice in the last few years for my kids as well as myself. It isn't easy, but good friends do help. That is what we are here for. You are the wind beneath his wings. We'll keep you flying too. xx
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All best wishes for tomorrow Faith. Your courage is an inspiration and puts into perspective a lot of the silly little things we worry so much about. Stay positive, stay strong and shout at us whenever you feel the need!
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Feel terribly sick this morning, really bad headache, but today is going to be a good day.
did anyone see the big moon last night?? it came out here about midnight, it was huge and so so bright, and its a glorious morning here there is some warmth in the sun already,
its my little mini shetland fillies first birthday today, keep thinking about the time she was born it was incredible, her mum allowed me to be there, to share the experience with her, what an honour that was.
hope you all have a fanastic sunday wherever you go and whatever you do :bouquet: :wave:
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well i'm off to church this morning and will be adding your OH to my prayers...
I don't have good experiences of the C word so all I can say is be strong and fight it together, I love the sound of a pyjama wedding ;D ;D ;D
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Thank you BLOOMER :bouquet:
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Hello there everyone who has responded to this string. I am Faith's OH.
I have found the response to Faith's original post overwhelming and am sure that with all of your support and encouragement that we shall beat this cancer together. Faith is a wonderful and caring person who has been a huge source of inner strength and inspiration for me. She will not let me get down, she is a real fighter and the most caring person I know. Your support for both of us means a lot to both of us.
I would like to say a BIG THANK YOU to you all. We shall let you know how things go and I'm sure that you will respond as you have shown above.
Lastly I want you all to know that I love my OH very deeply and cannot thank her enough for all she is doing for me and will have to do to help me pull through this. It will not be easy for either of us but having this forum to use for discussion and to draw strength from will prove to be a great help indeed.
Please keep this string going as I can see that I am not the only one involved with it that has an illness to deal with and I am sure others will gain strength and support for just reading the posts as the come in.
Once again I cannot thank you all enough for taking the time to put your own thoughts and good wishes down in writing and post them here. Stay in touch.
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Welcome to the forum. I hope you will post on other threads too - your experience in all walks of life is valuable and will be appreciated. I suspect everyone on here has been touched by this illness at some stage, so we will give you all the support we can. Stay well, good luck fro next week, we'll all have you both in our thoughts.
Annie
xx
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Life is an opportunity,
. benefit from it.
Life is beauty,
. admire it.
Life is bliss,
. taste it.
Life is a dream,
. realize it.
Life is a challenge,
. meet it.
Life is a duty,
. complete it.
Life is a game,
. play it.
Life is a promise,
. fulfill it
Life is sorrow,
. overcome it.
Life is a song,
. sing it.
Life is a struggle,
. accept it.
Life is a tragedy
. confront it.
Life is an adventure,
. dare it.
Life is luck,
. make it.
Life is too precious,
. do not destroy it.
Life is life,
. fight for it.
by Mother Theresa
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Welcome to the forum McRoxy. It's great to hear from you and I hope you get yourself sorted real quick.
I don't know you or Faith but I think that we all get an idea of what people are like from their posts on the forum. All I can say is that you both seem ideally suited and top notch people.
I don't have religion but I can assure you guys that my thoughts for you are really close to prayers and I sincerely hope they work for you. They would if I had my way!
On a lighter note, I'm struggling with the tartan nightware thing as, well, without going into too much detail, I don't wear much at night (I know, way too much information :D ) I will however get something to wear. Perhaps if you can take a few minutes to suggest an item, I will be glad to purchase it and maybe we could all post pictures of ourselves wearing them......
All the best guys,
Ian
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You're not alone in that, Ian :-[ I suggested a few posts back that we all wear something tartan - not necessarily night attire. How would that suit? Photos sound a good idea - an online wedding Album for non-guests?
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<<.......maybe we could all post pictures of ourselves wearing them......>>
That's an excellent idea ;D ;D
Welcome McRoxy - great to have you on here :) From our own experiences, it seemed to be a bit easier on my OH than for me, his carer. Easier is probably not the right word - maybe less difficult. He seemd to be able to just take what he had to - surgery, chemo etc - with the single aim of surviving (which he has done :) ) but more of the strain came to me. So look after eachother, share everything and come through it together :bouquet:
Oh, and keep your sense of humour - odd but it helps ;D
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Hello McRoxy and welcome!! I really hope everthing goes well for you. Most of us on here will either have had cancer, or certainly have relatives or friends who have. Its a dreadful thing, but treatments have come on so much in recent years, and I know of many people with good outcomes. I truly believe that you need a positive outlook in a situation like this, and I am sure you and Faith can fight it.
Sending you good wishes, and hope you are able to update us on your progress.
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Hi and welcome :wave:
Just thought I would wish you all the best for tomorrow. Keep us posted on how you get on, fingers crossed for a good and positive prognosis. Stay strong for each other :bouquet: :bouquet:
Jackie xx
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Hiya Faith & McRoxy,
Let battle commence & stay strong - thinking of you both today. :bouquet:
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Hello McRoxy,
How lovely of you to join us, and share your thoughts and feelings- as others have said I hope you keep posting. I think we do have a good "community" spirit here, and you will be a welcome addition to that community. I think you are both very lucky to have each other. I do wish you all the best for tomorrow, you will be in my thoughts. I hope the wedding plans are all under control- I think I might actually have tartan pyjamas somewhere, I'm off to find them.
Beth
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I think I might actually have tartan pyjamas somewhere, I'm off to find them.
Beth
The wedding is on a Friday, Beth, so will you wear them at home having taken a day off, or at the Bank? ;) ;D ;D ;D I don't have tartan jammies but I do have my old Dad's Maclennan tartan scarf so I will wear that with pride on your day in honour of you both.
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;D A Friday is fine- it's dress down day at work! ;)
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Thinking of you both .......
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I'm thinking of you both too and hoping news is positive later x :bouquet:
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I don't have anything tartan to wear but I do have a set of bagpipes. When I know the exact day and time of your wedding I will take them up to the fields and play (very badly) "Amazing Grace" :)
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I don't have anything tartan to wear but I do have a set of bagpipes. When I know the exact day and time of your wedding I will take them up to the fields and play (very badly) "Amazing Grace" :)
I have a tartan hat ... I shall put that on and join in with amazing grace on my recorder (if I can remember how to play ... I used to be grade 8 don't you know! ;))
Nice to "meet" you McRoxy. That's Faith's a goodun ... she'll keep you on track! :bfly: :)
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Hi every one the wedding plans are going well, we had the meeting with the gentleman that is going to marry us yesterday, we have prepared the service and done our vows so he has taken everything away to put it in order for the day, my brother is giving me away and OHs son is best man, everyone is in the spirit of nightwear, be in all in one, pjs or nighties, its giving everyone something to laugh about.
I have told everyone if they dont have tartan nightwear just to add something tartan, i.e a ribbon.
The date and time is set
4th april at 2pm a fortnight today, its my birthday.
OH is now in hospital, missing him terribly ??? the consultant has decided not to operate to remove the tumour tomorrow, he is going to do an exploratory op first to see exactually where the tumour is, what it is attached to and how big it is, plus he is going to put the chest peg in.
We have a meeting with him on wednesday lunchtime to get all the results and find out what action is going to be taken.
We are all in a positive frame of mind, LET BATTLE COMMENCE i said when we got up at 4am this morning, and its been the saying of the day, we will beat this bu**er
We can go and visit tomorrow, OHs son brought me home at lunchtime, so im not over doing it with my back, and he has gone back to the hosp to spend the rest of the day with his dad.
Thank you for the all the support and lovely things your all going to do when we get married, i will post some pictures, of our pj party ::), so you can all join in the laughter with us ;D
:bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave:
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Now I have to go shopping to get something tartan doubt I'll get jim jams in tartan down here, but I must join in and celebrate the great day. I know how the treatment can wear you down so stay positive as things will now move along at a pace
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positive but worn out i havnt really slept since last wednesday, need someone to hit me over the head with a rubber hammer ::) ::)
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I dont quite know what to say, but want you both to know we are rooting for you. ...
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Keeping fingers crossed that you get some good news, think your wedding plans are great :wave:
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I know sleep is hard when your mind is racing but it is very necessary so try and get some herbal tablets or if it is really bad speak to the doctor you will be amazed at how much more you can think straight after 1 nights sleep. Also if you don't sleep it will wear you down and we can't be having that you have a pretty bracelet to wear and make you feel happy.
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hiya had to take some tramadol for my back last night so they made me sleep, do feel better sleepwise today,
saving that bracelet for my wedding ;) :wave:
were justing for news that OH is back on the ward from his exploratory then were going to see him
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Why don't you choose something from my collection for your wedding and it can be my gift to you ;)
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That is so nice :bouquet: We have a B&B and I am near to tears after one of our guests told me about his wife who died last year of breast cancer and how he has a new girlfriend just going for treatment for the same thing, you never ever should take things for granted I keep telling myself and to see all those on here who are supporting you is so lovely :bouquet: BIG Forum wedding party on here for you I think!!...p.s, at least we can all take part without having to dress up!!!! maybe I should put mine on too!!
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BIG Forum wedding party on here for you I think!!...p.s, at least we can all take part without having to dress up!!!! maybe I should put mine on too!!
I can lend you a tartan scarf for the occasion, Sandy - and we can take pics of each other for the wedding album! ;D
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ELLISR that is so kind thank you so much,
You are all amazing, the kind words and support is helping me so so much :bouquet:
We have decided what to do food wise for the wedding, its going to be a big big breckfast, i.e a hotel buffet style breckfast menu, with stuff like, a big fry up, cereals, fresh fruit, porridge, fruit salad,
Has anyone any more ideas food wise that we could add?? the fry up will consist of eggs, beans, tomatoes, bacon, sausages, chops, black pudding, white pudding, mushrooms, eggy bread, etc etc
The exploratory op went ok today, my OH has had his stomach peg put in, he was sore and sleepy this afternoon, but in good spirits. They think they may of found another tumour on the other side of his neck, so he was sent for a cat scan this afternoon and they tried to do an aspiration needle, but the nurse couldnt find the lump so that was abandoned, but the consultant said he would look at the cat scan and have the MRI results back in the morning, so he will go through all the results and let us know the findings at lunchtime tomorrow ( scary stuff) im dreading it, but we need to know now, we need to know what we are taking on and come up with a battle plan, i am focused and determined this bloody thing is not going to beat us,
A wedding album sounds like a wonderful idea im so looking forward to marrying my OH and making my life complete.
This thing will not take him away i will not let it :'(
Thanks again everyone for everything :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :wave: :wave:
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You both sound really strong, good on ya!
I'm not really good at writing about what I'm thinking or feeling, but just to say I'm thinking of you both.
My mum goes for a mammogram on Thursday after a year of treatment for breast cancer to see how things are, so I kind of know all the emotions you are going through. I wish you and your OH (McRoxy) all the very best.
As the others say, we are here for you.
Lynn, x
PS. Your wedding plans sound great, I wish you all the very best for the big day and I'll join with the rest of the forum in your chosen theme!
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Smoked fish - either kippers or kedgeree. Yummy - I love fish for breakfast. If you can't have it at your wedding breakfast, we'll have it here, in tartan and drink a toast to you all.
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Kedgeree would be lovely with the breakfast spread.
I have just posted on Facebook to see if I can borrow something tartan for the 4th ;D I am also going to see if I can get some fabric to make a little scarf for Daisy so she can join the celebrations!
You are doing an amazing job Faith. I am welling up with how proud I feel of you both. You are a wonderful, wonderful person and you both deserve to win this one!xxx :love:
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Oh I have just seen this thread :( my bad!
Im so very sorry that you are going through all this. My thoughts and good wishes are sent to you. Stay strong :)
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Hiya Faith :wave:
Just got myself a new laptop - see my "Bitch broke my laptop!". Another lump - I really feel for you both. Hope the scan results went ok today.
Have just remembered I have a tartan scarf tucked away somewhere, will def be digging it out to wear for your big day. What are you doing about flowers?
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Hello there everyone. Yes it's Faith's OH again.
Faith took a really bad knock yesterday when she saw my tumor on the MRI scan. Its about the size of an apple at the back and right side of my soft palate extending down the throat and into the neck. Our Consultants had a good long discussion re surgery against Chemotherapy and Radiotherapy.
The surgery route at the moment would end up removing a significant amount of clean tissue along with the tumor and would need to be followed up with radiotherapy. There would be physical problems with swallowing and talking and possible permanent disfigurement due to the way they would gain access to the tumor.
The Chemoradiotherapy route would require four weeks of daily treatment Monday to Friday and home for weekends. Although the shots last for about 15 minutes there are various side effects that may or may not become apparent. There may be issues about isolation too. Physically the same issues regarding swallowing and talking remain. There is a hope that this therapy could reduce the tumor size and allow for surgery to be conducted later.
There are other issues logistically regarding whether I travel the 60 miles to the hospital and the same back each day as opposed to staying there which will be put into the melting pot for discussion.
So tomorrow when we see the Radiotherapy Consultant we have a lot to clarify and plan for notwithstanding the Wedding! Sounds like you are all going to enjoy our day wherever you are. I am very proud of Faith as you will probably already know and could not ask for a more supportive and strong person to help me through this difficult time. No doubt there will be others that are sure to come our way in the future but I am even more proud because she has put herself out of the limelight with regards to her ruptured disc and sciatica attacks which were the focus of our life until the beginning of this month. She has been a tower of strength and has pushed through her own problems to help me with mine, unselfishly. I cannot tell you how what that begins to mean to me. I think she is wonderful and that together we shall pull through all of this and be so much stronger afterwards.
Once again thank you so much for all your time, kind thoughts and support. Together we shall all beat this. Please stay in touch and keep an eye out for our updates on this thread.
Faith and McRoxy.
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Whatever you decide, I hope it will all go really well. Our thoughts are with you.
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Hiya,
Fish sounds a wonderful idea, i have not thought about that, thank you, will add it to our list.
I had not even thought about flowers until my sister in law mentioned them, im not really a flower person, i love picking some from the garden in the summer, but that is about it, i said, if i fancy flowers i will go to te*** on the monday morning a get some daffodils, that will do, i do like daffodils they are such happy looking flowers ::),
Her reply was leave it to me ::), and she is doing the cake, she has hinted that the cake and flowers will match, and the cake will have daffodils decorated round it, so daffodils it is i think,
I would like some sweet william, but i think it might be a wee bit early, just in memory of my sweet little dartmoor pony, "william". might see if i can find any at any of the local florists,
Yesterday was so hard, im feeling very battered and bruised today, im so glad we have got a day at home today, just to chill and regroup and refocus, before the next meeting tomorrow, one way to look at it is
We are very lucky, we came out of the consultants meeting yesterday with 3 options, if they can be called that
1- leave it alone, that gives us 3 months
2- the operation, which would probably leave no real quality of life,
3- the combined chemo/radiotherapy which again has it possible problems some which could be permanent, but the risk is lower with this option.
Some folk walk out of that room with only one option ( number 1), which isnt really an option if that makes any sense ???
So we are lucky, i dont think tomorrow will be as hard as yesterday, but its so so draining, but we are all ok, and im still keeping the positive mood going in the house,
We will take this on 100% and beat this 100%,
I described it to my other half yesterday its as if i feel there is another woman her name is C trying to take my fella away from me, there is not room in this relationship for the 3 of us, but it wont be me thats leaving, i will fight C all the way to keep my fella, im not one to give up and walk away :wave:
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Hiya Faith :wave:
Glad to see that McRoxy seems to be keeping his spirits up too after this awful shock. Let him look after you too. It must be so difficult for you both deciding which option to go for, only the both of you know which is the best - you just tell that Ms C to go away & leave your man alone Faith!
The daffodil theme sounds great - I love them, they are the sign of spring & new life.
Stay strong :bouquet:
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I've just uncovered a tartan dressing gown that I bought years ago because it looked slim ::) I will wear this whilst playing the pipes on your day. God be with you both, Sylvia.
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You are both so incredible.
I was desperately thinking what do I have that's tartan and thankfully have found my scarf, and I'll sit in my chair that is a tartan wool!
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SLYVIA i love the pipes i can listen to them all day, there is something very special about them, we have a teenager playing them for us on the day, i cant wait, THANK YOU for playing yours.
I have ordered the wedding cakes today, 2 10" round ICE CREAM cakes, one will be lemon meringue flavour and the other is millionaire shortbread, yum yum yum
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I was the first bride to ever have an Ice Cream wedding cake in Scotland - my grandfather was an ice cream manufacturer. No point in buying favour boxes then ;)
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gosh that is brilliant, i love ice cream, i could live on the stuff, mmmmmmm
oh i dont know, it might be worth doing the favour boxes for the laugh ;)
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He he - don't think the Posties would like it much!
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Keep smiling, keep planning, live for today and tomorrow is a bonus for everyone. (quoting my Grandmother)
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Still hunting some tartan.....I will prevail :)
Still thinking of you guys and sending healing vibes.
Ian
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I like tartan, and have a tartan scarf!
I am full of admiration for the way you are both facing this. If its down to determination, you will beat it. Love the idea of an ice cream cake - ooh, can just see myself eating some lovely ice cream cake, and millionares shortbread and lemon meringue are two of my favourites.
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Love is the ultimate gift and you two have it in spades! How lovely that you have found each other. I don't have any words of wisdom but i hope that being able to write your feelings down is helping you both through this horrendous time, thinking of you, Helen.
Oh yes and i vote for kedgeree, yummy and how about vases of pussy willow and hazel catkins so simple but very beautiful.
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Hi everyone had a couple of days, to try to surface after the week we have had, we are worn out,
We had a positive day at the hospital on friday, my OH has decided to go for the combined chemo/radiotherapy, we met the radiotherapy team and the chemo team on friday, and had everything explained to us,
It is going to take 4 weeks, of intensive and high dosage chemo and radiotherapy, OH is staying at the hospital during that time so they can keep an eye on him, he will be allowed home at week ends and for the wedding if he behaves himself ::) the hospital have also said they will provide transport to take him there and bring him home since i cant drive that distance at the moment.
This all starts on tuesday, he is being picked up tuesday afternoon and the treatment starts on wednesday, he will be home on friday and then he goes back on the tuesday after the wedding.
The consultants attitude is he is going to hit this cancer hard and fast and his objective is to KILL it. so everything is crossed that that is the case.
We have sent the last 2 days chilling at home and spending time with the animals, plus sorting last minute things out for the wedding.
OH is ready for going back to hospital, he is very positive, and ready to fight this.
Thank you for your support and your wonderful ideas and things that you are going to do on our wedding day, you are all stars :bouquet:
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hope it all goes ok, it must be so, so hard for you all.
don't wear yourself out Faith, keep strong
:)
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Glad to hear you've both had a good weekend Faith :) You just get that Ms C outta your lives.
Hope all the plans for the Big Day are going well :bouquet:
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You two go get it Faith Ms C needs a can of whoop ass opened on her! Thinking of you all you can and will beat this go get em. ;D
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Sounds very positive to me!!!!! Treat it like a campaign and you will be on the winning side!!!!
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Sending lots of good vibes your way - you are both sounding positive about this. Will be thinking about you and hoping all is going well.
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Good on you both - and your medical support, who sound great. Hugs to you both.
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hi faith and OH
sorry to hear your news and that i have been late in offering my :bouquet:
i have just made a last minute trip to austrailia to see my mum who has just been diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer. (hopefully she'll be able to have chemo.... fingers crossed)
i think you are both extremly brave and my thoughts and hopes are with you both. i found it exhausting living the scenario for 2 weeks so you both must be in a bit of a dream state- well nightmare.
a friend had mouth cancer diagnosed after a routine trip to the dentist and is now doing ok so hopefully you can have the same outcome :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet:
hope you have a fab wedding and i'll also be wearing tartan in support for you both :)
hope, love and support to you both
Mx
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MANIAN, so sorry to hear your news about your mum, will keep everything crossed for you and her, please let us know how she gets on, the C word is scary and turns your life upside down and in side out, but i think you have got to stay focused on getting a positive end result or it would tip you over the edge.
I cant begin to imagine how you are feeling having your mum all those miles away, i struggle when my OH goes to stay in hospital, prefer him at home, even though i know he is in the best place.
Thank you for your kind words, please keep strong and feel free to express yourself on here, we can all get through this together :bouquet: :bouquet: :wave: