The Accidental Smallholder Forum

Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: lazybee on November 25, 2010, 09:57:52 am

Title: What a year so far!
Post by: lazybee on November 25, 2010, 09:57:52 am
After reading littlemisspiggy's thread, it got me thinking about my year. Here's what's happened in mine, what's happened in your's


 Highs:

Lots of horse driving

New motorbike (see below  :'( )

Daughter has bought a house

Got 800 bales of superb hay off my own land

Got a new puppy (Bouvier de Flandres 20.5 kilos at 14 weeks  :o)

Been on a couple motorbike tours around France and northern Spain.


Lows:

This site has been blocked at work

Had our TB mare PTS due to severe COPD

Lost another horse (rotated pedal bones) see below

Crashed motorbike (total write off)

Crashed new motorbike : :'( :'( Over a grand's worth of damage

Mother-in-law been in hospital again

OH damaged the ligaments in her knee ski-ing and it still ain't right 10 months later.



Our mare (gold series endurance) had been slowly getting worse with asthma over the last few years. She had been on a nebuliser twice a day towards the end. We decided enough was enough. When a horse can't act like a horse should. It's time to make the right decision. Then we had to have our little Icelandic mare PTS she never improved from the pedal bone rotation. She had been boxed for the best part of 2 months. She could only walk in the deep bedding in the stable and was in great pain whenever she was taken out to be mucked out. We got her with this problem and managed to give her 3 good years, with leather pads between her hooves and shoes and special trimming. She also popped out a surprise foal soon after we got her. She was in such a sorry state when we got her, so emaciated that the vet said she may not pull through. We thought she was bloated with worm burden. She had put everything into the foal. Not had the best of luck lately, that's two lost this year and one last year.  :'(

The motorbike will be ready for the spring. The foal is now 2yrs and doing great.

Sooo what have you been up to then??

Title: Re: What a year so far!
Post by: pikilily on November 25, 2010, 10:50:05 am
I read LMPs thread too and put some of this one there but thought i'd add it here - plus some more positive thoughts...

i nearly put a *rant* on last week. things were getting me really down...it has been an horrible year.

firstly i had surgery on my shoulder last december, which didnt go to plan. I am still off work with permenant nerve damage (my arm aches all the time, my hand feels it has been rubbed with nettles, and i have lost the dexterity in my hand.) i am an anaesthetic nurse...and am now not safe to practice!!!! sick pay ran out in September.

In february i lost my wonderful arab x welsh cob to colic. The blood supply to his gut just shut down...nothing could be done for him...PTS  5th Feb... I still miss him dreadfully even though i have a new girl, Hetty.

then in June, whilst at camp America, my daughter developed kidney problems. She has FSGS...her immune system is destroying her kidneys :-( this is at best life changing, at worst life threatening..she is only 19. Last year it was reactive arthritis- she was crippled for months! My beautiful daughter is the female version of Benjamin Button. she has so many old lady tablets to take - last count > 20 per day.

we have had various cats and dogs PTS this year....

My grandma (95yrs)  is causing us a lot of concern at the moment because she goes completely off the rails at night time and screams the Residential home down... they have tried meds but that makes her worse....she is going to end up being moved into a psych unit or worse.....she is just very very scared of dying...(strong as an ox, so it isnt going to happen any time soon). So my Mum is trying to sit up all night wiht her AND carry one with her holiday cottage business during the day....this cant continue. Mum is >70 and has had breast cancer, skin cancer and was in intensive care for three weeks with bowel problems...all in the last ten years.

On the bright side; i have lost > 1 stone due to worry and stress. I live in the most wonderful place in the whole world, and i am Pollyanna by nature - so IT WONT BEAT ME!! 

and more positives..

I had a fabulous first time with the porkers. i concider that a success!!

the lambs did well, despite a shakey start. I only had five lambs from four ewes, but they grew very well!

the welsummers are thriving, and my new quail are just gorgeous.

My new horse Hetty is wonderful....although a bit of a handful. She has helped me to deal with the loss of Floyd

My son got a first class honours in sustainable environmental managment - brilliant for a kid who had been written off by school. We were told he would only just  manage foundation standard grade level....just shows you what determination does!! Hes an inspiration ...Proud Mum at the graduation ceremony. And then he walked straight into a fabulous job, doing his environmental stuff and has travelled around the world already.

my daughter still has a great sense of humour

i have great friends and family around me here,... and would like to thank all of you for your friendship, although we have never met - we are friends  ;D ;D

now this is starting to get too gushy, LOL

Emma T


Title: Re: What a year so far!
Post by: HappyHippy on November 25, 2010, 11:34:25 am
I could write for hours about all that's happened here this year, but I'm sure I'd end up boring myself, never mind everybody else  ;)
The biggies that stick out are -
Having baby number 4, Jessica Jayne, in June  ;D
Having a lovely farrowing with 9 out of 9 surviving (about 6 weeks after JJ's arrival)  ;D
Finally getting a diagnosis of ADHD and Aspergers for my 2nd Daughter, Kaitlin. And more importantly, getting her into a school where they can help her ;D
Having wonderful friends, family and a hubby that puts up with all my mad plans and actively encourages other ones  ;D
I don't want to think about the negatives - just focus on the nice stuff ! A good year for us at Yonderton, and lots of exciting plans for next !
Karen x
Title: Re: What a year so far!
Post by: northfifeduckling on November 25, 2010, 09:56:33 pm
highs - great kids of my own and some chicks turning into lovely big chickens, I love watching either of them grow!
lows - debilitating back pain and even more torture from the chiropractor  :&>
Title: Re: What a year so far!
Post by: ellied on November 29, 2010, 01:17:03 pm
Start of this year I had found my dream farm, with a deal partly under way that would have given me 20 acres, steading to fix up and use, and a pretty rundown house with a view to die for that I would have spent 20 years happily working on.  End of January I discovered the seller had decided to pull out and sell the whole thing (minus land) to a builder for redevelopment as a housing estate on the basis that they might also then get development on the land in future >:(  I have found 3 ok places since but never managed to get that top bid and now I am looking at the dream dwindling due to loss of mortgage capacity (see below).

Further developments from problems the previous year led to my workplace becoming unbearable for me, and I decided not to apply for a more senior role on the basis I genuinely felt it wasn't for me any more.  As a result I felt obliged to look for a way out and as my confidence kept slipping, folk took advantage and I ended up needing to leave because of increasing health and stress related problems, not to mention the practicalities of trying to keep 20 ponies and 4 cats going on 2 locations in winter darkness before and after an all consuming day job :(

So I left my job in September and have had very little coming in - I sold 3 ponies in April but nothing since and the winter bills are higher than ever :(  Because of slow sales I didn't breed again (2nd year running) so have missed all the joys of foaling and have lost a lot of enthusiasm about the ponies in general.  My fitness and health have improved in the last month or two but I'm still struggling with the management on my own, and didn't spend the time in the garden I should have either, so a lot was wasted one way and another :(

My beloved cat Merlin was runover and the driver didn't stop tho I was only a hundred yards away and the neighbour came to tell me.  [Detail edited out] - I buried him in the garden beside 2 others I lost a few years ago on the same road and a kitten I lost at 3 weeks unexpectedly this spring too :'(

I've lost at least one friend due to being loyal to another who was being attacked by someone as yet unknown (reporting her for cruelty and sending inspectors from 3 organisations all of whom found nothing wrong and one of whom asked whether she'd be interested in fostering/adopting any of their rehomers so clearly no fault there just maliciousness but rumours wreck reputations and one of the ponies reported was actually mine which was horrific because for a moment I even doubted myself and my friend :(

Another one I have walked away from after she knew I'd provisionally booked a hall for 2 evenings a week to run evening groups/classes and she overbooked me to expand her existing business so I now only have one evening's work a week that brings in about £5 after room hire and without travel/time/expenses costs ::)  She then had the cheek to tell me that yes she knew I had a provisional booking but perhaps I'd like somewhere she'd just left because it had unreasonable demands/terms for her group of 8-10.  Bear in mind I had no business at all to make commitments about ::)

I have lost a good friend to cancer a couple of months ago and have 3 others at various stages of treatment, plus 3 more with parents suffering from it :(  I seem to have lost other friends because I'm no longer active with breeding, showing and riding ponies and have little in common with them now.  A good half or more of my friends and acquaintances think I'm either mad or depressed to have given up a secure day job at a time like this, so I have little to talk to them about either ::)

And now I am about to lose 20 acres of grazing after 9 years because the owner's neighbour wants him to invest in fence improvements I have been pushing for for years - he's evicting me rather than risk said neighbour suing him for any straying stock.  Oh and said neighbour also expressed interest in buying the land - how interesting a coincidence ::)  Meantime I have advertised 8 of my remaining 16 ponies but due to recession, lack of show record/name since my "retiral" from showing, and quite possibly my reputation loss due to the anxiety and stress I've been suffering since last year's even worse year, no further sales have been forthcoming and I now have less than 5 weeks to work out what to do next..  plea for extension has been rejected too :'(

Oops, I forgot another lovely one - my late brother's former partner had organised his funeral late the year before and suggested my sister and I deal with erecting the gravestone..  Early this year it turned out that over in New Zealand she had rights to his estate which in the UK she wouldn't so she seems to have had all his funds over there and into her account rather than, as he wished but didn't bother to write into a will (age 51) it coming to my sister and myself in my case specifically so I could buy the farm he knew I wanted.  He had been an agri contractor in the UK for years before emigrating and working with/for her in setting up her business which of course he put years into and was in her name and is now for sale cos she can't run it without his input so is retiring on the profits of all his work and our aunt's/family money :(  The icing on the cake of this was that this summer my sister contacted her to invite her input on the gravestone and it turned out she'd already decided to order one to suit herself and wanted our financial contribution but not our input on style/wording..  She then ordered it, told my sister the morning it was due to be erected, me not at all :( and when my sister took a last minute day off to go and see it done, it turns out my name was spelt wrong and the bill was duly forwarded to my sister for her and I to pay in full :o  We declined >:( and as far as I know the stonemason is pursuing her in NZ for his money but my name remains wrongly spelt on a (to me) hideous stone which I am damn sure I will never ever go and view because I am so angry and hurt :( 

There is more but it's a series of minor things just packing themselves into a wave of difficult times all round :(

The good side - I no longer have to drag myself up the hill in the dark to find ponies on a 20 acre steep hill field in the dark before going to a workplace I was increasingly stressed about going to and more and more dissatisfied with as a career anyway.

I don't have to pretend to like those folk at work who I know have been stabbing me in the back, nor act "professionally" when attacked - I can walk away and not care what they think or say about me.  And I'm actually having a lot more quality of life than they are in there every day :)

Also my health and sleep patterns are improving steadily, if not as fast as I'd like ;) and I now know who my friends are :) and what to do with those who speak one way and act another :)

I am more committed to selling asap the 7-8 ponies I wanted to part with "at maturity" and am learning that goodwill cannot be relied on even after years of loyalty or promises.  I am probably clearer on my focus and goals than before and therefore should be more likely to succeed when I have a direction to point that focus at!

With better health, more time, less stress, more sleep, more animal and me time and less money, I am enjoying the possibilities of next year and, once I get through the winter and animal sales start again, I have more hope for my future than I ever did when the income and cost were certainties ;)

I have started running workshops and groups and find I love teaching folk that are interested and talking to those as passionate as I am about any number of things.  I have invitations to Cumbria, back to Northern Ireland, London, Amsterdam and Peru all of which I can accept and enjoy as part of my business/life rather than trying to decide on one thing a year.  I am even more likely to find genuine support for animal checking in my absences because I am here the rest of the year to offer reciprocal assistance or other services.

In short, the year before was horrific (losing Mum in March, my uncle in June and my brother in September plus all the physical illness, work stress and other such problems that accumulated around those traumas).

This one has been pretty hard going and is ending with another in a series of unexpected difficulties.

But I have a future now - 18 months ago I didn't think I'd be alive by now or sane if so and life and health are everything, money is not.  That's my thought for the year ;) hope I've not bored you all!

Title: Re: What a year so far!
Post by: pikilily on November 29, 2010, 06:35:24 pm
hiya ellied,
i totally understand your work related stresses, family relate worries, and worries about your animals etc.  these, sometimes, intangible issues are worse than the visble direct ones we can deal with head on. Also, it is hard when the problems involve personal feelings and worries - because No-one else seems to believe they are real or important.  Keep your head up, fight on, your dreams will come to fruition.

cheers Emma T
Title: Re: What a year so far!
Post by: OhLaLa on November 30, 2010, 07:49:31 am
Wishing you and the animals a better 2011 ellied, but could have done without the graphic detail about Merlin and the cats - most upsetting.
Title: Re: What a year so far!
Post by: ellied on November 30, 2010, 09:26:40 am
Sorry, that's what has stayed with me all these months, I have had 2 cats runover in the past and still miss them but this one was just horrific and I was there just a few hundred yards away when the neighbour came to tell me but the driver hadn't bothered to stop.  I'll edit it out so I don't upset anyone else, sorry  :'(
Title: Re: What a year so far!
Post by: Smiler on November 30, 2010, 01:20:01 pm
Oh my goodness me - I'm very new to the forum so don't actually know any of you, but I cried when I read some of these posts. :'(

I'm sending you all a big hug - it a REALLY big one so you can all share it and maybe keep a bit for later in case you need it again!  Debs xx
Title: Re: What a year so far!
Post by: pikilily on November 30, 2010, 01:34:19 pm
Hi Smiler,

we are a cheery bunch- really- spose this is a bit of a blue topic- but the fact that we are still all bashing on, and talking about it prooves we are a strong forum with lots to share!

cheers Emma T