The Accidental Smallholder Forum

Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: Wizard on July 28, 2010, 08:15:12 am

Title: The Quack
Post by: Wizard on July 28, 2010, 08:15:12 am
 M.Y.Ding Dong twas the Quack!
Title: Re: The Quack
Post by: Hermit on July 28, 2010, 08:28:33 am
P.Enis was my dads consultant :D :wave: :-*
Title: Re: The Quack
Post by: WinslowPorker on July 28, 2010, 08:34:27 am
Mike Hunt was my sales director and that is 100% true!!
Title: Re: The Quack
Post by: Samantha on July 28, 2010, 08:40:32 am
Mr Luke Warmwater once got called out at my dentist surgery (true) lol i nearly fell out my chair

Title: Re: The Quack
Post by: WinslowPorker on July 28, 2010, 09:14:46 am
I also had a customer called Annette Cotton, but i told my sales girls it was Annette Curtain................ they never forgave me because it always stuck then  ;D
Title: Re: The Quack
Post by: Rosemary on July 28, 2010, 10:18:09 am
Dan and I worked beside a woman called Nesta Kettles. Dan told me her sister was called Lydia and for years I believed him. In fact he only told me it was made up a few months ago. ;D
Title: Re: The Quack
Post by: lazybee on July 28, 2010, 12:07:08 pm
My Biology teacher at middle school was Mr Bastard..........not B'stard...........Bastard, a school boys dream ;D.
In the old Waveney valley (South Norfolk / north Suffolk) phone  book there was a Mr Smellie, pig farmer
Title: Re: The Quack
Post by: Roxy on July 28, 2010, 03:35:13 pm
In my time as a Secretary to a Sales Director, I used to ask the name of the caller before transferring him to my very strait laced boss.  Had some strange named people, but the two who stick in my mind, and they were realy called this was Mr Crowsfoot, and Mr Cobbledick.  The poor men must have got used to strange looks when asked their name, and probably got asked to repeat it on the phone, when people said PARDON?
Title: Re: The Quack
Post by: northfifeduckling on July 28, 2010, 03:43:20 pm
Ed Balls as education minister was a cracker, would have liked to be a mouse during his school visits  ;D
Title: Re: The Quack
Post by: Mickyork on July 28, 2010, 10:01:39 pm
I worked with a bloke in Germany for 2 months thinking he was called Timex. As I was leaving he told me his name was actually Rolex    8) 8)
Title: Re: The Quack
Post by: northfifeduckling on July 28, 2010, 10:10:38 pm
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: The Quack
Post by: knightquest on July 29, 2010, 08:30:22 am
We were in Argos waiting for our item to come through. The assistants would get the receipts and shout the customers name.

Mr Smith, Mrs Jones etc - you get the picture?

There was a number of these shouts in a row and the last item to be purchased was a toy. It went something like this.

"Mr Evans", customer says yes, and walks to the counter.

"Mrs Saunders", customer says yes and walks.

"Mr Smith" and we hear Thank you and the person approaches the counter.

I swear this is true. The assistant shouts "Mr Potato Head" and this bloke shouts "here" and goes to collect the toy. Diane and I nearly died laughing. It was extra funny because only us two and the assistants were giggling....still brings a smile when we think about it.

Ian
Title: Re: The Quack
Post by: sheila on July 29, 2010, 03:44:46 pm
Once in florida my husband said we were "balmpots" for waiting an hour for a table. When we were called to our table it came over the tannoy " Mr and Mrs Balmpot, party of four, step up to the podium please. my daughter, who was then a teenager refused to go as she was so embarrassed. It took us ages to convince her that the americans didn't know what a balmpot was and in any case their surnames were often worse then that!
Title: Re: The Quack
Post by: Womble on July 30, 2010, 06:21:28 pm

I ended up writing up the minutes of a meeting the other day. Only when proof-reading did I realise I had assigned one of the actions to "Tom, Dick and Harry", and had also referred to a "Frocklift Truck" that was in need of repair!  ;D
Title: Re: The Quack
Post by: Jackie on July 31, 2010, 05:23:57 am
Round here we used to have a top jockey called P Enis and a taxi driver called P Green.
Title: Re: The Quack
Post by: lazybee on July 31, 2010, 06:23:00 am
When working on a rig in Oman, we had a Thai centrifuge operator called Shittisak we had to call him Audi though. There was an Indian geologist called Ashit and an Egyptian data man called Megahed. All on the same rig at the same time. 
Title: Re: The Quack
Post by: Wizard on July 31, 2010, 08:12:28 am
Lots of very interesting stuff but far to hot for me doctor thinks my problem came from the show sun yesterday we are trying My gases ventolin spivira sereveny fllixotude Posh water through the nebulizer liquid ventolin to go to bed with ditropan and daktarinup to 10 Coco domol tabs in water All those plus erythromycin ranitidine and glandosane to keep my mouth wet To combat the pain in my chest diclofenac and mucodine More cocodomol in water  and just to keep me rate another tube of fucidin.So Shake me I rattle If I am not usuing my Freedom 400 and I have had nothing to eat since Sunday evening Usual weight for years as I have told you Annie love 105- 106kgs  This morning 92.5kgs Do you want to borrow my ailment for a fortnight Annie its definately rapid weight loss.As well as :D :farmer:(Please excuse any spelling I feel extremely tired)
Title: Re: The Quack
Post by: Mickyork on July 31, 2010, 01:25:54 pm
You rest up Wiz man & get yourself well soon.  :) :) :) :)
Title: Re: The Quack
Post by: Sandy on July 31, 2010, 09:58:12 pm
Wiz... please...we all love you so take it easy....do NOT laugh too much!!!!! anyway, I want you to cook for me and get me fat...hang on, I am trying to get thin..never mind!!!!!
I remember going through the admissions when I worked in special needs at a school, my bestes friend said " now is his name we licker or we liker? still find that funny little *ugger he was too!!
Title: Re: The Quack
Post by: Wizard on August 02, 2010, 10:07:43 am
Thanks all I've reported earlier  but it was Matt wi me gas Doctr at noon she has just rang e's cows tailin it Thanks Sandy We have one of those take some keeping an eye on at 2.00am Sal have to go no concentration XX
Title: Re: The Quack
Post by: valr on August 05, 2010, 06:10:00 am
Hey Wiz as I said elsewhere, I hope you get better really soon! So sorry to hear you are feeling so ill.

Have been laughing at some of the funny name posts on here. In the same vein, there was a boy in my class at school who was announced every morning at morning register as "R Don".

Also, I once worked for a couple called House who had a daughter and named her Wendy.  ::)
Title: Re: The Quack
Post by: Sharondp on August 05, 2010, 08:14:36 am
I had a friend who (before she got married) was called Teresa Green  ;D
Title: Re: The Quack
Post by: valr on August 05, 2010, 11:08:54 am
Took a while for me to get that Sharon, but I like it!  ;D