The Accidental Smallholder Forum
Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: Womble on January 08, 2017, 08:57:41 pm
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OK, this one's a bit random, but I have a problem!
Our toilet seat broke a few months ago, so I fitted a new one. All was well for a month or so, but then the hinges started to free up a bit, and the seat now won't stay up on its own (well, sometimes it does, but that's only to lull you into a false sense of security so it can surprise you at an inopportune moment ;) ).
I fitted it as far forward as I could, but the problem is really that the cistern itself is mounted too far forward relative to the toilet bowl.
Can anybody think of a way I can either get it to balance better, or gum up the hinges up a bit so that it stays up of its own accord? ;D
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(well, sometimes it does, but that's only to lull you into a false sense of security so it can surprise you at an inopportune moment :roflanim:
Sorry I can't be of help, imagining this scenario made me laugh
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you can get neodynium magnets coated in plastic.. that might work with a thin painted/coated steel foil on the seat - or better flush fitted (couldn't resist)
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or just sit down....
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First thought was velcro, then I thought a bit more ;D
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I fitted it as far forward as I could, but the problem is really that the cistern itself is mounted too far forward relative to the toilet bowl.
Can anybody think of a way I can either get it to balance better, or gum up the hinges up a bit so that it stays up of its own accord? ;D
I can't quite picture the problem but what about some sort of tying device attached to the cistern?
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First thought was velcro, then I thought a bit more ;D
I just nearly wet myself reading that.
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I would appear that you have purchased a "female" seat, there is nothing wrong with it, its is working as normal returning to the correct position!
pgkevet's advice is good if you dont have any "intimate" body jewelry :innocent:
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I would appear that you have purchased a "female" seat, there is nothing wrong with it, its is working as normal returning to the correct position!
pgkevet's advice is good if you dont have any "intimate" body jewelry :innocent:
...so cheap it's made of iron?
I can't remember exactly how toilet seat hinges look.. and too lazy to go see. But if one can drill out the hinge pins then replace with a stainless steel bolt you can adjust the friction .. perhaps addng one or more stainless spring washers.
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Loo tack - sorry I meant blue tack!
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Could you not get Mrs Womble to hold it up for you? :innocent:
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Presumably then your old toilet seat kept up ok. So it's basically a slightly different design of seat. So how you deal with it depends on whether you are more time poor or money poor at the moment.
If funds allow it would be easier to purchase another seat. Obviously with your new found wisdom you would need to carefully study the design. I'm presuming you need a less chunky seat - ie not wooden - so there is a bit more room for the seat to lean back when up. Those really cheap plastic ones that bend in all directions when you sit on them would probably do.
The other alternative is to fiddle about with it as Pgkevet suggested until you reach the desired state of perfection. However, if the hinge pin is metal you could always pour acid (Eg vinegar) onto it which, unless it is stainless, will cause it to rust and tighten up.
Good luck with that anyway.
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You can rule out moving the cistern Womble -it is close-coupled and only fits in one position. Any possible slight movement will only be achieved by taking the whole toilet out and then re-installing it. That exercise may cause leakage of the coupling seal and other issues.
As said either a new carefully selected seat or some fiddling about to alter the one you have. However tightening the hinge pins too much will result in the seat not closing.
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This conversation needs to continue, because in two consecutive days I have laughed out loud.
:thumbsup:
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This conversation needs to continue, because in two consecutive days I have laughed out loud.
:thumbsup:
In which case forget the seat and use a stool
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[/quote]
In which case forget the seat and use a stool
[/quote]
Possibly an unfortunate choice of words?
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Great ideas so far folks - I especially like the idea of flush-mounted magnets ;D .
As said either a new carefully selected seat or some fiddling about to alter the one you have. However tightening the hinge pins too much will result in the seat not closing.
That's the weird thing - there's no access to the hinge pins from either side of them. Perhaps they come apart if unscrewed from the seat, but I think it more likely that they're sealed units.
BTW people, how dare you laugh at my predicament? This is a serious discussion forum don't you know? ;)
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Off course it is :roflanim: :roflanim: :wave:
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Our good friends invited us around last week to allow us to admire their new high tech lounge which has multiple 'mood' setting lighting and curtains that open and shut at the press of a button or from the iPad. I did suggest they just sent me the codes and I could play with the curtains without bothering to drive over....anyway I good bottle of wine was involved so it was worth the trip.
There is some sense in this madness as they can get all this working as if they were at home when Mr Burglar looks in when they are on holiday
So Womble, therein lies the answer, a computer controlled loo seat and flush, or controlled by a sensor on your ingress and egress.
Alternatively, I found last time I replaced my loo seat B&Q do about 12 types with slightly different fittings, different offset of the hinge and bolts to where the seat flips are needed for different loos so I suspect you have the wrong seat for your bowl & cistern.
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BTW people, how dare you laugh at my predicament? This is a serious discussion forum don't you know? ;)
No one is taking the P... honest , how about a bungee cord to hold it in place ?
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I hate to laugh at other people's expense, but thank you for cheering me up today [member=2128]Womble[/member] I really do appreciate it! :roflanim: :roflanim: Hope you get the problem sorted soon! Sorry I can't help :(
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how about a bungee cord to hold it in place ?
What? To free up my hands so I can hold the toilet seat up? I guess that might work! ;)
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how about a bungee cord to hold it in place ?
What? To free up my hands so I can hold the toilet seat up? I guess that might work! ;)
Best yet. I keep thinking of other consequences... :roflanim:
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You could always add a urinal!
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Loop a bit o binder twine round the seat and put up a picture hook to hold it up :roflanim:
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Loop a bit o binder twine round the seat and put up a picture hook to hold it up :roflanim:
There speaks a true farmer , baler twine the fix it all solution
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Just seen this thread, and Womble I recognise the problem exactly as it happened to me when I replaced our toilet seat. I tried many of the solutions suggested (admittedly not the baler twine nor bungee cords) and nothing worked. What I found was that if you are standing doing a pee, I positioned myself at 8 o'clock facing the bowl with a slight flexion of the knees, and used my left knee to prop the toilet seat up. I am 6 foot tall, so if you are shorter you may need to try it at 9 o'clock. With experience it is easy to calibrate. The problem was only resolved when we moved house on 15.10.14.
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......at 8 o'clock.......... try it at 9 o'clock, maybe thats ok for you but sometimes I need to pee at 2am , what position should I assume :innocent:
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Sorry folks, I'm a bloke. By the time I've remembered to face in the correct direction, flexion my knees, calibrate the trajectory........ I'll have forgotten what I'm doing, and the damn seat will hit me in the nuts again! :roflanim:.
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Duck tape! :&> :&> :&>
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Duck tape! :&> :&> :&>
Sigh, we've had baler twine mentioned recently now Duck tape, you must be an engineer then, Duck tape the engineering solution to broken stuff !
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Yes, I believe you're right, (http://www.viralforest.com/this-pilots-airplane-was-attacked-by-a-bear-but-he-repaired-the-whole-thing-with-duct-tape/) Scarlet Dragon! :)
I once used Duct Tape to tape a duct. One of my proudest ever moments as an engineer (it worked so well, it could almost have been made for the task). Well, that and the time I pointed out to an instrument technician which transmitter I believed to be faulty.... by kicking it..... and the machine instantly sprung into life! ;D
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I'd suggest using a big stick, but knowing this lot they'd take that the wrong way :innocent:
On a more serious note, why not take the seat off and make a pair of crotchless toilet seat pants to put on when you feel the need to sit down? winner winner, chicken dinner... Personally I think its the only sensible option you've been given
Here to help, not to hinder...
Cuddles
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If you're going to start dismantling the whole thing it would be better to remove the lid. That way there would be room for the seat to go further back against the wall and it should stay up.
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Yes, that would work, landroverroy. However, I'd then have to look at the inner workings of the ball cock mechanism (Yes I know they will Cuddles, but I can't think of another way to say it!).
I guess the alternative would be to demolish the wall and re-build it. If that sounds a little bit drastic, let's all remember that PK moved house just to get away from his errant toilet seat!!
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I don't mean the lid of your cistern Womble. Having to look at its innards might put you off your aim.
I meant amputating the lid of the toilet seat, which I would have thought was preferable to removing the seat itself and resorting to crotchless pants. (Don't imagine Mrs Womble would enjoy sitting on cold porcelain anyway.)
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Oh, I see what you mean now! Perhaps the thought of crotchless toilet pants affected my mental acuity?
Of course, having no lid on the toilet seat would prevent me from standing on it to change the bathroom light bulb...... which is how I broke the original seat in the first place. Win-Win! :thumbsup:
(Don't imagine Mrs Womble would enjoy sitting on cold porcelain anyway.)
Probably more than she'd enjoy spending the weekend knitting crotchless toilet pants! :o
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But realistically Womble let's imagine you go for wee say 4 times a day (rough average - I don't want to know details!) Let's imagine you put 5p in a jar each time you go (and Mrs Womble is free to contribute as well if she feels the need.) Then you would have at least 20p/day (or even more if Mrs Womble felt generous.) And in 5 days or even less you would have £1. So in 50 days (or less) you would have saved £10 - enough to buy a new toilet seat. (If you shopped around which being Scottish I'm sure you would.)
In the meantime, while you are saving up, you would have plenty of time to research the dimensions of your new seat to ensure it was fit for purpose. And then - in a month or so - new seat! Problem solved.
I would then suggest you carry on saving up and buy a small set of step ladders upon which to stand when next changing the light bulb, and so avoid going through this whole cycle of stress again.
!! SIMPLES !!
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Yes, I believe you're right, (http://www.viralforest.com/this-pilots-airplane-was-attacked-by-a-bear-but-he-repaired-the-whole-thing-with-duct-tape/) Scarlet Dragon! :)
I once used Duct Tape to tape a duct. One of my proudest ever moments as an engineer (it worked so well, it could almost have been made for the task). Well, that and the time I pointed out to an instrument technician which transmitter I believed to be faulty.... by kicking it..... and the machine instantly sprung into life! ;D
My IT professional son calls that 'Percussive Mantenance' :roflanim:
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Ah, that's because he's an IT professional.
If he was a mechanical engineer, he'd just call it 'Maintenance'.
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Go to Costco and buy a slow closing lid and seat, it will stay up long enough for you to have a very quick pee and at least enough time to save your bits :o
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Don't get the seat that goes with the nutcracker suite :roflanim: :excited:
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Could become a new Olympic game :roflanim: he could be the first gold medal winner :roflanim:
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I actually reckon that Womble has sorted the problem by now. But hasn't told us because of the amusement value of this post.
(What sort of half decent engineer would put up with such an irritating problem for so long without having sorted it?)
So - go on Womble - put us out of our misery!!
What was your final solution??
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er.......... :-[
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An alternative use ;D
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LOL! I'm more tempted by these though:
(http://www.ecosnippets.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/chicken-nesting-box-ideas-9.jpg)
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/ff/6b/6b/ff6b6b892af4bd5b56b6e61ad0b8c9a6.jpg)
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:roflanim: :roflanim: :roflanim:
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Womble , really ! there's no need for graphic illustrations of your problem by showing us the offending toilet seat and your rather large , ahem, :chook: :innocent: ;)
there are ladies present.......
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Look carefully at the first photo. It's as if the hen is saying "this could fall on me at any instant, you know".
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:roflanim: :roflanim: :roflanim:
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I have not laughed so much at any thread ... ever ...
But seriously ... I had this problem once; there were stoppers between the seat and the lid. Removed them ... problem solved.
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LOL, actually DartmoorLiz, that's exactly the solution I've decided on - I just haven't got round to it.
Also I'm enjoying this thread too much to let it die just yet! :roflanim:
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Living life on the edge :hshoe:
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of my seat? ;D
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KNEW YOU'D WORKED IT OUT!!!
At least in theory if not in practice.
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I'd like to know as well. My OH is always complaining that he didn't get one.
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I got a round touit, I needed it to stop the whining noise from the kitchen ....... only used once,
Oh is that my Taxi to hell ..
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Wahey! I finally got around to removing the wee rubber bumpers from the lid, and..... problem solved!
This just goes to show once again that if a man says he'll fix something, he'll fix it - there's no need to remind him about it every six months.
I wonder how long it will take me to get around to sealing the holes :innocent: .
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wow. only 12 weeks. well done womble. not bad for a man ;) :)