The Accidental Smallholder Forum
Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: nutterly_uts on July 10, 2016, 02:18:24 pm
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Anyone had any success with this? Getting a bit fed up of my small rock and being unable to afford to do anything animally or be lucky in love so things need to change!
Was on muddy matches but my location seems to put everyone off.
Any other suggestions or recommendations?!
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Wish my son would, he's a catch but got scared off women when a relationship three years ago suddenly vanished into thin air. I even had my wedding outfit lined up, then she just walked off and left him with a four hour drive home in tears and a ring in his pocket!
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Wish my son would, he's a catch but got scared off women when a relationship three years ago suddenly vanished into thin air. I even had my wedding outfit lined up, then she just walked off and left him with a four hour drive home in tears and a ring in his pocket!
There are some awful people out there :( How horrible for him :hug:
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But far better she called it off before the wedding, Annie. Bless him, the right girl is out there waiting.
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My chum split from her husband a couple of years ago and has used Plenty Fish(?). She's met a few nice blokes, had some nice times and now seems to have met someone that's really serious. She woks in a mainly female environment, isn't a pubby / clubby type so she wasn't going to meet a new partner otherwise.
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Sorry,nutterly-uts, that wasn't an answer to your problem! I have no experience of on- line dating, though I did once propose to pgevet but was turned down!!
My younger daughter once went speed-dating, she thought it better to see people face to face, then you can see if you "click". She met a nice man, a local paramedic, but it didn't work out (though they are still firm friends) then, lo and behold she met her now husband in a local pub.
I dare say they have speed-dating on the Island? you could try that, if nothing else it will be a night out. Pity I haven't got a spare daughter!
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I shall check out Plenty of fish :)
I am not aware of any speed dating here but I shall have an ask around :)
I'm not the pubbing/clubbing type which is half the problem! I just can't do the drunk-and-throw-yourself-at-anyone thing!
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I know it's a bit of a cliché, but evening classes, I believe quite a few people do these hoping to meet "the one", clubs or societies doing things of interest (smallholding, gardening etc.
Joining your local church will get you out and making friends at least (and they're not all holy moley types, but friendly, welcoming folk)
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I never actually joined a dating site but used instant messaging on my mail server. Had lots of contacts and met a fair few after chatting for a while. In fact that's how I met OH and we have been together for 13 years.
I wouldn't hesitate to use a dating site nowadays if I needed to.
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I met my OH on Plenty of Fish 2.5 years ago and couldn't be happier :love:
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I met my OH on Plenty of Fish 2.5 years ago and couldn't be happier :love:
And you have Zs.. I am a little bit jealous!!
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lol I'm super lucky, I'd never had sheep before I met him, but he had a smallholding and his own sheep already. I enjoyed his but found them hard to handle (Welsh Mules and Berrichons) so decided to buy my own flock of more docile sheep, hence the Zs. Since I've had them and got better at handling I can now handle his almost as well as my own (but I adore my Zs) :D
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lol I'm super lucky, I'd never had sheep before I met him, but he had a smallholding and his own sheep already. I enjoyed his but found them hard to handle (Welsh Mules and Berrichons) so decided to buy my own flock of more docile sheep, hence the Zs. Since I've had them and got better at handling I can now handle his almost as well as my own (but I adore my Zs) :D
More jealous now!! Does he have a smallholding brother of around 30-35?! pmsl
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lol he is that brother :innocent: You'll find your Mr Right - he's out there, just have to be fussy in your search (my tagline on POF was, "Do you own a pair of wellies?" and anyone that didn't was instantly discounted. Ian won when he replied saying he lived in wellies as if he wasn't working, he was looking after the sheep or walking his dog. Hooked! :love:
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lol he is that brother :innocent: You'll find your Mr Right - he's out there, just have to be fussy in your search (my tagline on POF was, "Do you own a pair of wellies?" and anyone that didn't was instantly discounted. Ian won when he replied saying he lived in wellies as if he wasn't working, he was looking after the sheep or walking his dog. Hooked! :love:
Mind if I pinch that? I wasn't sure how picky to be since nothing is working at the mo. I don't want to be limited to just this island and I am more than willing to do mainland trips but how do I convey that without being desperate?!
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Go for it and good luck :thumbsup:
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Yes, it definitely works. At least half of the weddings we've attended in the past five years have their origins in online dating. This also means that any stigma that used to be attached is now gone completely.
From speaking to friends using POF etc, I get the feeling that guys have it far easier than girls unfortunately. One female friend ended up being really harrassed by guys on POF sending her photos of their, ahem, appendages, so be prepared for that! She switched to another paid for site and has had a bit more luck of late though.
Another female friend who's a primary teacher met a sheep farmer online - they've now been married about eight years and farm just over the glen from where we are. He's a lovely chap, but had real trouble meeting women because he was so busy running a farm in the middle of nowhere. I'm afraid he's taken now of course, but there must be others out there who are similar! :thumbsup:
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Another female friend who's a primary teacher met a sheep farmer online - they've now been married about eight years and farm just over the glen from where we are. He's a lovely chap, but had real trouble meeting women because he was so busy running a farm in the middle of nowhere. I'm afraid he's taken now of course, but there must be others out there who are similar! :thumbsup:
Send them this way! Seriously, am now reaching the shameless stage :D If you know a single guy who is 28-38 and who likes animals (Doesn't need to be a farmer) wants to settle down and isn't heavily into clubbing/drinking who is open to online dating, pm me for my email address because I will try anything!!
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Careful though - there's a fine line between shameless and desperate!
This is all good advice too (http://www.fwi.co.uk/farm-life/the-dos-and-don-ts-of-dating-a-farmer.htm) ;D
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Careful though - there's a fine line between shameless and desperate!
I am straddling this line I fear! I shall check out the link thanks :)
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Careful though - there's a fine line between shameless and desperate!
This is all good advice too (http://www.fwi.co.uk/farm-life/the-dos-and-don-ts-of-dating-a-farmer.htm) ;D
:roflanim: That is so true!! My third date with Ian was a takeaway pizza in the lambing shed.
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That link is hilarious :D And very true from the 2 Farmers I've already tried my luck with :D
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Well! utterly-nuts what made me think you were a bloke! Apologies.
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No problem :)
Our usernames don't always make it clear. There are several people here I wouldn't be able to tell you if they were male or female :D
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Another female friend who's a primary teacher met a sheep farmer online - they've now been married about eight years and farm just over the glen from where we are. He's a lovely chap, but had real trouble meeting women because he was so busy running a farm in the middle of nowhere. I'm afraid he's taken now of course, but there must be others out there who are similar! :thumbsup:
Send them this way! Seriously, am now reaching the shameless stage :D If you know a single guy who is 28-38 and who likes animals (Doesn't need to be a farmer) wants to settle down and isn't heavily into clubbing/drinking who is open to online dating, pm me for my email address because I will try anything!!
My son is only 43 lol Just outside your 'price range', my Dad was a confirmed bachelor till he met my mum in the NAAFI when he was 42 and she was 26. So there's plenty of time for you!
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My son is only 43 lol Just outside your 'price range', my Dad was a confirmed bachelor till he met my mum in the NAAFI when he was 42 and she was 26. So there's plenty of time for you!
it doesn't feel like it! I guess its cause its that dreaded wedding season where going without a +1 just gets you sympathetic looks :roflanim: Plus I have that horrible 3-0 birthday fast creeping up which adds up to MORE sympathetic looks!!
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lol he is that brother :innocent: You'll find your Mr Right - he's out there, just have to be fussy in your search (my tagline on POF was, "Do you own a pair of wellies?" and anyone that didn't was instantly discounted. Ian won when he replied saying he lived in wellies as if he wasn't working, he was looking after the sheep or walking his dog. Hooked! :love:
Mind if I pinch that? I wasn't sure how picky to be since nothing is working at the mo. I don't want to be limited to just this island and I am more than willing to do mainland trips but how do I convey that without being desperate?!
Just say that you make frequent trips to the mainland.
I'm finding this very interesting, especially how much more acceptable dating sites have become.
I do think though that if you feel you are getting desperate then you give out signs of desperation that you're not aware of, but will be picked up on by any potential blokes. That is likely to scare them off. Try to be laid back about getting to know people. You never know, you might already know your future mate but you just haven't realised it.
One of my sisters-in-law was starting to feel her biological clock ticking away, so agreed to marry a rather creepy chap (or I find him creepy) They have been married for a while now, and have children and a life, but she is very unhappy and struggling to find a way to separate their lives. So allow time for a friendship to develop before you start thinking of wedding bells - friendship lasts well beyond the initial excitement of marriage. I don't know why I'm giving advice - I was married at 20, long before I ever expected to be, so I don't know what it's like to be on my own.
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I did on line dating for several years and had many lovely evenings out (free too!). Met one or two more than once and am still friends with some years later. So do it and enjoy it but don't search for 'the one' , search for male friends who may develop into the one. Are there any singles walking groups ... if not start one (I did!) ... one of the best ways to meet people casually and chat naturally.
Lastly when I did meet 'Mr more than right' (on a school building project in Tanzania) he was nothing like the guys I had searched for on line and if his profile had come up I wouldn't have responded..
Good luck and enjoy (safely!)
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Not used online dating and originally met my OH in a pub while on a sporting weekend. Exchanged Facebook details and then went and lived our own lives. Few years later we got into a random conversation on Facebook and the next thing you know I've moved 200 miles north!
I think you have to meet someone through a shared passion. Maybe make an effort to attend any agricultural shows / sales etc and hang around for a drink and make contacts.
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Another thought: I've met people before through local "Meetup" groups (http://www.meetup.com/) (didn't think of it before, because we didn't end up dating :) ). The selection in Jersey (http://www.meetup.com/cities/gb/je/st_helier/) is a bit limted unless you're into technology or positive thinking though...... perhaps you could start your own!?
ETA, sod the sympathetic looks; 30 is young! Mrs Womble and I have started getting them because we've been married a decade now but have no children (only sheep). What do they know anyway?
I know whatever I type next will sound cliche, but what I sincerely want to say is go off and live the life that will make you happy on your own. Don't do it timidly - grab it with both hands. Do that, and there's a really good chance that love will then bite you on the bum when you least expect it, as there's nothing more attractive than somebody who's living their passion ;) .
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My sister met someone on lines he was just past 50 and pretty demoralised after a classic run off with a younger woman scenario divorce. As happy as can be now. The good thing about being post teen and post pub and night club hook up is you chose on personality rather than crowd appeal. Met my husband through an intro agency when we mid thirties he wasn't in wellies but he certainly is now! Best of luck if one agency doesn't suit try another. I did do one singles night it was not for me though.
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Be very careful on any dating sites POF has quite a few dodgy people on it, I know that from experience >:( There is another few which may be worth a try, classicfm romance it is very good from reputation and monitored. As with any dating site be very careful who you talk to/meet as they may not be all they say they're. The best way to meet people though is going to meetings and the such or gatherings. I have done that a few times, but always been too shy with talking to guys. Communication skills are my issue, but if you have those it is really easy. I am sure in time the right one will come along, patience is key and don't rush it or you may end up being with the wrong person for the sake of being with someone. I was desperate to meet someone not so long ago, but I have had to tell myself to bide my time and the right person will come along. In the meantime I am enjoying thr freedom of being single! :roflanim:
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When my ex ran off with my 'best mate' I tried plenty of fish
Seemed lots of desperate women out there but I did meet my OH on it and we have been VERY happily together for 7 years now. Definitely worth a look
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This!
go off and live the life that will make you happy on your own. Don't do it timidly - grab it with both hands. Do that, and there's a really good chance that love will then bite you on the bum when you least expect it, as there's nothing more attractive than somebody who's living their passion ;) .
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Jeez! ex's running off with best friends, women getting men to wear wellies, photo's of gentlements appendages! This all sounds more Jackie Collins that TAS! ;D
There's always the app that you swipe left or right on... I'm sure it can be used for whatever you want it to be, I've know at least one mate that is 3 yrs into a relationship with someone he met on Tinder.
(...for those asking what an app is... there was a thread last week about it... so I'm not going there again! :roflanim: )
Alternatively, if you are on the rock, fain an interest in sailing. You might find Mr right has his own super yacht too!
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Alternatively, maybe it's time for [member=1]Dan[/member] to add a new board on TAS...
We had a TAS Singles board in 2010/11 and there were 8 topics in about 15 months, then a period of about 6 months with no posts before I archived it.
Very happy to revive it if there's demand and see how it goes.
Please 'Like' this post or reply below if it's something you think would be a valuable addition. :thumbsup:
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Careful though - there's a fine line between shameless and desperate!
This is all good advice too (http://www.fwi.co.uk/farm-life/the-dos-and-don-ts-of-dating-a-farmer.htm) ;D
Was that link supposed to be funny? That (and the kids one) I thought was normal Life? ;), ;D
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And here's me thinking this forum is about smallholding only..... :innocent:
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Loads of good advice here to absorb :thumbsup:
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And here's me thinking this forum is about smallholding only..... :innocent:
Its primary purpose is to provide a forum for the discussion of smallholding and related issues.
Like most forums it's populated by real people, who form a community of interest, and can be geographically diverse. So it also has a secondary purpose to provide whatever additional services we can support that are desired by that community.
We support the Coffee Lounge and a number of sub-boards that are not about smallholding per se. So if there's demand for a 'dating' or similar board, and we can support it, we will.
HTH. :thumbsup:
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I'm quite happy to stick to this thread in here and I don't think we need a separate topic?
I know OD is getting more popular and the success stories are everywhere (as shown here) so I figured lets ask another section of people who have already shown they are wise about all sorts of topics :thumbsup:
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met my husband online dating 12 years ago, reckon I did the equivalent of winning the lottery-even though on paper, we were not a good match. He was an utter townie, had never had a pet and was nervous around dogs, let alone horses. He had never touched a live chook.. I am a fairly stroppy, animal loving luddite (he's in IT), not a natural kid person (he has two) determined to live in the middle of nowhere in a wind tunnel. ON our profiles we liked each others sense of humour and only exchanged photos when we had arranged to meet (after several emails and phone calls).
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I got my husband from match.com. (Tried muddy matches too, but was all mountain bikers and city lads at the time). I had a really good time doing it, some interesting lunches/country walks out meeting people). Thought it worth paying £20/month to find 'the one' and hopefully weed out a few scum bags. There's always some scummy/scavy sorts, but you cangive those the cold shoulder just as if you were on a night out.
For me, I worked out what I wanted (this is a bit sad but I love stats) but thought about my past relationships and worked out all of the traits that I liked and disliked and what went wrong and then made a spreadsheet and scored past boyfriends (and guys I'd fancied/those I'd turned down) till I had a list.
On my profile I put down what I wanted: basically I want to get married to a farmer, shepherd, game keeper or similar and have kids. If they didn't fit that kinda bill they didn't get a date. I had no interest in days of texting/messaging/phone calls - as can tell way better and faster in real life.
Think it's worth going on date with couple of people before becoming 'involved' - think it's good to have something to compare to!
That was in 2008; been happily married for four years, 2nd child on the way, and never had an argument :love: Best of luck to you!- I gave the same explanation of what I did to my best friend and she got married to a lovely guy 3 years ago. x
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Alternatively, if you are on the rock, fain an interest in sailing. You might find Mr right has his own super yacht too!
Ha ha, this made me laugh.
When husband No 1 died I was devastated, kept head down into work for about a year, then I was ill and off work for a few weeks; and in the meantime the company had closed a contract and taken staff into the office unbeknown to me.
First day back I had to prepare expense sheets for one of them, sign it off and hand over the cheque - my assistant said 'that's him upstairs', I looked up and fell headlong!!! Absolutely, hook, line and sinker!
However, our relationship was cemented when he asked me to go mountaineering with him and i asked him to go to a dog show with me - both actions worked in hooking the other. I climbed 12 Munros with him, then gave up; I think he came to about the same number of champ shows :innocent: - and eventually we both admitted it to each other and had a great laugh. :roflanim: Still miss them both, but I've made a single life fro myself. Don't need men. (except for moving heavy bags of compost, bark etc :innocent:)
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Isn't that what men are for though, Annie?
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Isn't that what men are for though, Annie?
There you go - online profile sorted!
Wanted: man for life in the great outdoors! Must be willing to get mucky in the barn and naughty in the hay loft.
PS your main job will be to do all the heavy lifting!
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Maybe rather than having a 'dating' sub-board, perhaps we could have a 'local networking' sub-board where we set up little TAS friendship, networking and support groups? If romance develops from those groups too well all well and good, and if not then at least the individual has a wider circle of friends.
I'm not interested in dating, but I am interested in meeting others with similar interests in my area with a view to the odd night out, sharing equipment and experience, and helping one another out at busy times (lambing, shearing, illness or holiday cover etc).
I've met some brilliant people through the local RBST group and Goat Club, but most are just that bit too far away for me to ask them to 'pop in and check on the animals twice a day' if I'm away for the weekend or have an overnight away for work. I do have one person in the locality that can do this for me, and I return the favour for her horses and dogs, but it would be nice to have a wider circle in the area with experience of different livestock.
I think that is a brilliant idea [member=132794]Scarlet.Dragon[/member] It would certainly be very good and you would of course have been chatting to the people in question, instead of it being a total stranger. :)
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Like the idea Scarlett Dragon, there was talk of a meet-up in Yorkshire, but we haven't found the time yet :-).