The Accidental Smallholder Forum
Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: jameslindsay on April 25, 2010, 06:14:17 pm
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I went out to feed the animals and as normal brought the Pygmy goats out from the big fields and into their own paddock. As they were half way in their own paddock a boy aged about 9 or 10(who had just arrived with his mum and was standing watching the animals) came running at the goats and threw his pint glass filled with water at the goats. Of course it smashed and went everywhere, the goats paniced and scampered everywhere and 2 of the hens run away with pieces of broken glass in their beaks. I ran in and screamed for help, a brush and shovel. The mum asked the child why he dad that but there was no row or anything so my temper got the better of me and I exploded. I was told the child was autistic and couldn't be trusted - well why the hell didn't he have his own plastic glass for drinking? I got the goats calmed down and gave them their dinner so they were fine. In the end I made more noise than any one.
Luckily we got everything cleaned up and no one was harmed but it could so easily have been a disaster. I am going to die of a stroke I have no doubts.
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oh James, how scary for you, and the goats.
at least nobody got hurt.
(and as autistic kids in reality pay my wages... I feel justified to agree with you about needing plastic glass. though I'd not give any child that age a glass anyway!)
x
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Poor James, you don't have far to look for your troubles this year! I would have done more than explode, I'd have sent them packing! Poor goats, hope they are Ok now and that you managed to get the glass away from the chickens!
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Thanks Annie, it has been a hellish year. I actually did send them packing and I am still ragin and feeling like I could explode. We managed to get the glass off the chooks pretty quickly and the goats are quite happy munching on their hay now.
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Poor mum. Sometimes it's awful hard having children who are "different". A bit of tolerance is so welcome.
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James, I do feel for you, I can see both sides, poor mum must be struggling and Autistic children are so unpridicatable, I know as I used to work regularly with Autistic children and take them out, it was like playing Russian roulette and a fine line between all going tits up (sorry!!) There was a brother and sister who I worked with and by chance 2 young members of staff to the girl, 18 years old, to her usual Saturday night treat to a local pub, she wanted a certain drink but they had not got it and luckily enough she made do...If she had decided that was not what she wanted, she would have ploughed through everyone and anyone, flattening them as she was a BIG strong girl...scared me, in fact her brother scared me much more, I worked with him and he kicked the other member of staff on the nose, breaking it, leaving me to deal with him, I was lucky that the security door held so he could cool down!!!!!! The dilemma is, they are doing away with day centers and including people that are unpredictable in society, I agree to a certain extent but the times I have escorted young people who are volatile and in my opinion, extremely dangerous ?????? Glad I don't do that job anymore !!!
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Can I add, with Autism, anger makes them more aggressive, the boy who broke someones nose was totally oblivious to what he had done (not too sure about that but !!) a moment later I got him playing and doing something else, I just had to "calm" him down, talking assertive but definitely NOT aggressively, in fact I kept some extra strong mints in my pocket, if someone like that starts, I switch on my safety switch and say " do you want a mint" the change in attention/direction distracts what they have done, they take the mint and you give them another focus like " let's go and have a look at????the river, the lions, the toilets!!!!!. I am fortunate I can turn on my switch whenever I need it, often using humor but later, when I get home, I am shaking in my boots and believe you me, I have come VERY close to danger many times!!!
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Oh, James, that must have been so worrying for you, having glass near the animals. Pleased you managed to get it off them, before any damage was done.
I can understand why you lost your temper at what happened. I suppose the boy did not understand, but all the same, his Mum should not have allowed him to have a glass. He could easily have thrown it at a person, or worse still a child. Maybe after you read her the riot act, she will make sure he does not have a glass again.
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I know exactly what that like Sandy as I used to volunteer at a special school ( I missed caring after I quit nursing) that had a thriving autism part. I started there in a class for 16 to 19 year olds and two lads were very dangerous at 6ft tall and approx 17 stone each, they each had two male helpers for each child for when they kicked off.
Mind you I have seen one of them plough through 5 male teachers and helpers when the staff were trying to get a female teacher out of his hands, he had the teacher by the hair and was swinging her around off her feet. She lost clumps of hair and was bleeding, and was so shocked we had to call a doctor. The child was locked in a calm down/time out room.
They have been known to break bones and try to kill the helpers by head locks and twisting necks.
Both of those kids will go to a secure unit after the school because they are too unpredictable and too strong and too dangerous.
My daughter now works with the most challenging at the school and I continually worry for her life.
PS. After 1 term and being attacked at the swimming baths whilst helping I changed to 9 to 11 year olds.
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Poor mum. Sometimes it's awful hard having children who are "different". A bit of tolerance is so welcome.
It is difficult looking for tolerance in a seriously dangerous, hazardous and chaotic situation. I had 11 hens and 6 goats in the middle of this crazy position I quickly found myself in - their safety was my first and quite honestly only concern at the time. The glass was thrown at the goats so it shattered big time, it was not dropped as an accident. The "poor mum" is more to blame than the child, I was informed that as she walked away she said to the child "you are an embarassment, you do this everytime we go put"!
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I'm with Rosemary - but I DO understand how worried you must have been for your animals James and I'm glad everything's okay.
Kaitlin's behaviour is very unpredictable and she acts up every time we're out (which is maybe only once a month, if we're lucky) Personally I'd never give her anything other than a plastic glass, especially outside, but it's not always easy if you're out.
As for the Mum not losing her temper - I DO lose my temper with Kaitlin (not in public, cos I'd probably get locked up ;)) but it makes absolutely no difference - I smacked her the other day cos she'd driven me to the absolute end of my tether - but do you know 5 minutes later she was bouncing on her bed totally nonplussed while I was still in tears in the livingroom cos I'd had to smack her in the first place.
It is hard having a 'different' child and I'm sorry to say that one of the hardest parts is dealing with other peoples reactions - especially when they've never been in my (unenviable ?) position. :'(
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Hi Karen, believe me I am sympathetic towards any childs disability but the infuriating part of this incident was she just stood there and said and did nothing. It was as if what he did was not out of the ordinary.
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I also worked supporting families with disabled children and many children with AUtisum were not priority but in reality, parents of children with problems in the AUtistic spectrum face more problems than more physicaly disabled children. I did get a few minor injuries, one was being run over by a large GO kart and still have problems with one of my feet, it got crushed and the manager was knowhere to be seen so I could get some basic first aid!! I also have seen young people rip out hair, try to break necks, bite etc, one young boy I worked with was only small but he was awful to work with but more often than not staff set him up by leaving stuff around like hammers, ladders, screw drivers and glass!! One day he sat having his dinner with a female member of staff next to him and he stabbed her in the neck with his fork, I just got a punch in the nose as I was reading him a story!!! one male member of staff got the sack as 3 big male wworkers took him for a drive in the mini bus and he started hitting out at the driver, so the driver who was also a senior worker stopped and smacked the boy, he then got sacked!! I felt for him, doing that typoe of care work is risky in more ways than one. I do worry about the closure of Day centers as some of the people I have worked with are far too risky!!!
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It must be so hard for the parents having to cope with the general publics attitude towards their child. After all, they deserve to go out and enjoy life, like the rest of us, as do their parents and carers. But, like James, my main priority would be the safety of my animals, and in the heat of the moment, would probably say keep your child under control - which is not fair to the Mother, but like I said, when in that situation, you just say what comes into your head.
My neighbour is on a contract to taxi autistic children, and young adults to their school and adult centre. He told me the other day, that he feels he can no longer do it. He is being physically abused by the young adults, and he said he is concerned for the safety of the children, the helper with them and indeed his own safety. That day he was speaking to me, a young male had started to hit him round the head as he drove, and the helper with him was unable to restrain him. The driver had to find a safe place to pull over, the helper was in tears, and he was so frightened he would cause an accident.
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One lad I worked with (another) used to tie your shoe laces together very quickly and/or undue buttons, zips etc, he was very cunning as then when you got out of the car he would run off leaving you repairing what he had done, he also was very tall and fast!!!(not like me, short and slow)
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but it's not always easy if you're out.
If you can carry plastic cups for toddlers you can do the same for autistic children. In my opinion this mother was trying to hide her head in the sand about her child's disability. She SHOULD have brought a plastic cup and if she had forgotten, asked for one, in fact the child should NOT have been near the animal area anyway without permission. I am sure James and Kenny would have been happy to provide a plastic cup if asked. In my opinion, James acted quite correctly, his animals were in danger, I'd have reacted the same - even with my own grandchildren.
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Hi James,
I've worked "front line" in mental health/learning difficultity field most of my working life and know how difficult it can be, especially for the parents. However I can totally understand your reaction and would more than likely reacted the same way. I cannot understand why he would be allowed to have a glass and be at risk to himself as well as others.
I would be the first to argue that "everyone" regardless of ability has the right to live as normal a life as possible, but with that right comes responsibilities to other members of the community, unfortunately from experience I have found that is seldom the case.
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Thanks Annie, I agree 100%. :)