The Accidental Smallholder Forum
Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: Kitchen Cottage on March 24, 2015, 02:13:48 pm
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I am 50 tomorrow! For weeks people have been asking me what I wanted for my birthday and the answer is NOTHING, NADA, ZILCH, NOWT!
I do not mean this rudely but I have everything I want and I am getting rid of stuff and not adding to it. I don't feel it right to ask people to donate to charity and a lot of my friends don't have a lot of spare cash, I really don't want them to spend any on me.
So far I have received chocolate I don't need, a scarf I don't need, two bowls I don't need, various bottles of stuff and I bluddy well know people will bring something into work tomorrow.
I bought this off ebay
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Walk-in-fruit-cages-/131458291686?ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT&_trksid=p2047675.l2557&nma=true&si=qhv1iX%252BGQB4xY%252FzcsJ7hBU9S3sk%253D&orig_cvip=true&rt=nc (http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Walk-in-fruit-cages-/131458291686?ssPageName=STRK%3AMEBIDX%3AIT&_trksid=p2047675.l2557&nma=true&si=qhv1iX%252BGQB4xY%252FzcsJ7hBU9S3sk%253D&orig_cvip=true&rt=nc)
and this will give me more pleasure than anything else. I used my own money because i want to..
Why oh why is it considered so bad to say to friends, I don't want wasted consumption.
I had friends for dinner and cooked my lamb and pork, we drank my home made wine and had a lovely evening .... that is more than enough!
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Happy Birthday for tomorrow :hug:
I understand your sentiment - I would prefer to spend the day with a loved one than have a gift, but you need to remember that a lot of people get joy from giving a gift :bouquet:
This year I am having my loved ones round for lunch and have asked for a new trowel :D
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If someone MADE me something I would gladly receive it, it would have meaning.... but the pleasure the giver gets from using the worlds scarce resources to buy meaningless consumer goods that I neither want and indeed have made it clear I DON'T want is surely something I shouldn't encourage?
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I asked for KIVA vouchers for my 50th, nearly three years ago, and I'm still making regular loans to small agricultural businesses around the developing world.
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Happy Birthday anyway KG. May the homemade wine flow.
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Ooops KC!!!
Honest no wine homemade or otherwise has passed my lips. Just hopeless typing.
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And i thought i was really Victor Meldrew , lol .
I try to live a simple life , avoid consumerism etc , but very few people i meet 'get it ' .
I tend not to try to explain anymore , the look of bewilderment on their faces is somewhat offputting .
I try to avoid plastic , packaging , consumerism and the system . I think i should have been around when Richard 111 was looking for horses , I am nearly old enough
, well i feel it anyway .
Happy birthday !
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Oh you miserable old grump :roflanim: Once you get to your 60th you'll wish you'd had a fling now while you are so young :innocent:
I too hate pressies I don't want or need, especially Christmas stuff like bathroom goodies (I'm allergic to them all). However, people do love to give something, especially for your big days. I have often said that I'm collecting towards a fruit tree, or a new wheelbarrow, or two laying hens, whatever. That way people can contribute as much or as little as they want/can afford, they will know what they give is what you want, and they will then have a little bit of vested interest in your way of life, having contributed to it. No-one likes giving stuff the receiver doesn't want, but they still want to give something, so go halfway by thinking up that something. Then you can say...'you know what I would really like is a plum tree, so donations towards that would be lovely. Thank you' Then each time it crops, you can tell the donators just how much it yielded.
Easy, innit :eyelashes:
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I can buy my own plum tree if I want it!
What I want is NUFFINK!
If they have spare cash let them choose to spend it on themselves or give it to someone who needs it.
I'm a mortgage free solicitor, I am very fortunate at the moment.
If someone wants to give me something, bake me a cake or some biscuits but they just want to CONSUME.
Should it really be considered grumpy or rude to ask friends to listen to your values on something like this, especially when the message is "I have you as a friend I don't need or want anything else and indeed it would detract".
People are just programmed that they have to offer consumption as a gift AND IT'S WRONG!
I really am not Victor Meldrew, I have just had a lot of people doing exactly what I don't want at the moment!
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Not Victor Meldrew ? " i don't believe it " .
Completely agree with you on the consumer bit .
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Just enjoy the fact that you have made it to your 50th birthday and be glad. :innocent:
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When I was coming up to my 50th, my daughter asked what I wanted for my birthday. I said I would love some cloches to which she replied, "You're not having anything for the garden." I ended up with a chiming clock. I had to take the batteries out to stop it chiming and waking me up. It's on the wall years later because they bought it for me but I never liked it.
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I was 50 a couple of weeks ago and everyone knows by now that I neither send nor wish to receive cards and gifts for any Christmas or birthday. It mostly works out other than elderly aunts who I know wouldn't understand and I can tolerate on family goodwill, tho one makes rather offensive comments apparently unaware of the impact!
The fact I am overweight always seemed to inspire people to give chocolate or other junk, while insisting I have lost weight and no doubt if asked they'd wish I had lost more. This time having a zero in my age I was given 3 bunches of flowers, a tea set and oven dish for one, some expensive skin cream and 2 lots of £50. The money I have used to pay the train for the annual visit to the nicest aunt who just sent a funny card thankfully.
For the day I didn't tell people for the most part and went to my pilates class, had coffee with a couple of new friends from the gym, went a rather reflective walk and having turned down lunch with neighbours to keep them from plying wine and dessert, and lunches and days out from relations of a similar notion but involving further expense to reach, agreed to a quiet cuppa next door. She invited the other 3 and bought a chocolate cake and wine. I felt bad but insisted on tea and the smallest piece of cake, didn't take the rest home etc but it just never ends! You just have to keep saying no as politely as possible knowing you aren't being heard.
Maybe find something to ask for that meets their criteria of a gift and maybe is partially acceptable is the best you can hope for.
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Ellied!!! You are my double!! ;D :roflanim: :roflanim:
Today I have got up, puppy watched, received a present outside at 5am from my tenant, driven to work and am now about to tackle an unsatisfactory planning permission and a cable damage claim....
It is light, I have puppies, my seedlings are starting to peek through, the allotment is ready for rotivating, I bought a fruitcage off ebay cheaply, i am seeing friends later and at the weekend.... all is right with the world, I want no more ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Many happy returns KC.
Sylvia. X
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I love birthdays! I had a lovely party for my 50th and hope to have another for my 60th (still some way off). Great opportunity to meet up with friends and relations. I'm always grateful that people think enough of me to want to share and give a gift - same as I'd want to do for people that I value.
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Happy birthday KC :wave:
Did you remember to say, "White rabbits!" this month? :roflanim:
A view from the other side here - I am rendered a gibbering wreck by needing to send cards and buy presents for people. I am hopeless at it and unless I find something that I know they will love I get frustrated, angry, despondent by having to look. (Friends who I know will appreciate something handmade are less stressful ;).)
Thankfully I have a few friends who accept me for what I am and know that, card, present or not, they have my love, not just on their birthday but every day and whenever they need me.
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We always give each other home made cards and a second hand book. My elder daughter makes me Easter biscuits, my elder son buys me a packet of seeds. The younger two usually forget which doesn't matter a bit.
The books, unless "keepers" go to the Co-op charity book stall.
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Happy Birthday KC, your fruit cage looks great :cake:
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whoops..missed this . many happy returns,
got to say, we don't do cards or pressies, we just buy what we need, helen needed a goat and i needed a digger..sorted ;D
to me a gift needs to be special, not just something bought with ease, we have two special friends who sadly lost their son in Afghanistan, they love to come down to the farm for the day, but need to get back to do the candles on his grave, so helen and myself suggested , why don't they plant a animal friendly tree, use a few of the many rocks , and plant a few bedding plants, just a nice little area that will make no difference to us, yet means they can light a candle in a special area, for them, when they come down…. they actually cried when we told them, and loved the idea…
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Don't knock it! Your friends and relatives love you and want to show that - the only way THEY know is by buying you things! IF you don't want the chocolates and other stuff give it to others who will appreciate it!
And for goodness sake show them you love them by being more tolerant!
Life is far too short to be grumpy - just think of those 16 kids that will never be your age - and feel guilty! :rant:
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Watch you don't fall off that high horse :roflanim:
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<<<My friends love me and were mostly too frightened to do other than what I wanted>>>
Those two statements are surely mutually exclusive.
Maybe one day you'll understand what we're saying :idea: - I hope so.
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fleecewife, it was a joke! My friends aren't frightened of me, they do think i am a little eccentric.....
i know what you are saying, i just think you are wrong.
i had ten people for dinner saturday who are good friends and have others this weekend.
we had a riotous hoot and it was fab. That memory is lovely!
i love celebrating, i just don't need to over conxume to do so.
in fact, it seems rather silly
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But did you have to attack Annie so harshly? She was upset over that awful loss of young lives :(
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I have to agree, I think the comments that were deliberately 'deleted' but left on show in the edited post are quite harsh.
Everyone is entitled to an opinion but to over ride others with insensitivity and insulting language is unkind and not necessary (in my humble opinion)
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My neighbour recently celebrated her 50th. She had a party at home and invited her family and friends but also all her neighbours from our tiny scattered community. She is from London and an artist and it made for a wonderful 'colourful' mix of characters! ;D Just imagine. ;D
She is not materialistic and her invites said that clearly in a really amusing way that made us all giggle. She asked not for expensive gifts but for things that people may consider as 'rubbish' ..... she said that she would get much pleasure turning them into things that were 'beautiful' to her. She gave ideas eg. things that she could weave with, things that she could use as planters for her new greenhouse (made from upcycled upvc windows), cuttings for her grass/ planted roof
I took baler twine, feed bags cut into strips and so on. Other neighbours gave old farming bits and bobs, pots, etc.
All were accepted with a smile and it was a really good night. A few did turn up with the more usual gifts and these also were accepted gratefully ..... I know that my neighbour would find good homes for anything she didn't want or need and nothing would be wasted.
Glad that you enjoyed your celebratory meal, KC.
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As it offended I've removed the post. Dog is quite vocal in her opinion and as her post was a internet anger icon telling me I should be ashamed, it's likely to get a response like that.
Life is however too short for minor disagreements and I use this board as a resource quite a lot I don't want bad feeling
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For clarity, my name is not Dog. I am Annie to my friends. Doganjo is part of my email address and my user name on this and other forums.
It would appear that 150 people died because one man was unable to continue with his own life. I find that very sad. May we all remember that and have compassion.
As others have said, life is too short for scraps such as this one - PAX, KC?
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The dog wasnt meant as a insult. It's because i can never remember how to spell your avatar.
life is too short for silly squabbles and i am being silly on this one :bouquet:
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:bouquet: :thumbsup:
Dog - obvious - I have four! :innocent:
An - first half of Anne
Jo - first half of John, my beloved late other half.
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Being a miserable old git usually starts kicking in around the 50 mark.
I'm 70 this year and I got being miserable with people down to a fine art. It has it's benefits...People tend to leave you alone more.
Enjoy it..it can only get better...or worse.
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I'm 71 and I'm not a MOG!!!!! :innocent: :roflanim: