The Accidental Smallholder Forum
Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: cameldairy on November 09, 2009, 01:46:17 am
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Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,
'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'
- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
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I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered, but was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'
- Eleanor Roosevelt
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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
- Mark Twain
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending...and to have the two as close together as possible.
- George Burns
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Santa Claus has the right idea ~ visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge
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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
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By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
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I was married by a judge...I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
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My wife has a slight impediment in her speech.
Every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante
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I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
- Alex Levine
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My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery,
people would stop dying.
- Rodney Dangerfield
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Money can't buy you happiness ... but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery
- Spike Milligan
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Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP!
- Joe Namath
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I don't feel old ~ I don't feel anything until noon ~
then it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
- W. C. Fields
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We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
- Will Rogers
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Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
- Winston Churchill
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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty...but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
- Phyllis Diller
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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step,
he's too old to go anywhere.
- Billy Crystal
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The Cardiologist's Diet:
~ If it tastes good spit it out ~
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;Some quotes certainly make an impression on me, I remember watching "Dead Poets Society" starring Robin Williams, his quote in the film was "cease the day" my beliefs entirely...better get ceasing now, wasting far too much time ;)
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LOL Sandy ! Your spelling's bad ! ;D
I take it you mean seize (to take hold of) the day, as opposed to cease (end) the day ;) ;D ;D ;D
Please don't be offended - I just had to point that one out ;D
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Whoops,
1 It's a bit early for me, just had to cook early breakfast and it was a cold night last night so my brain is still defrosting and
2, Yes, it's true, my spelling is bad, not sure why? I think my eldest daughter has the same problem and she is a Scientist!!! my other 2 daughters spell very well and my partner, who is incidentally Dyslexic! can spell much better than me ummmmmmmmmm??
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;D ;D ;D
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(http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Laughing/lol-046.gif)