The Accidental Smallholder Forum
Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: sabrina on December 09, 2013, 08:45:01 pm
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At this time of year I clean all my kitchen, move cooker, fridge and washing machine. Make sure my windows are washed by the 31st so I go into the new year with clean windows. I was brought up with my mother doing this and for some reason have just carried on. My gran used to scrub the doorsteps on the 31st. My own thing is to give my feed room a good clean, gut the stables on the 31st to make it easier on the 1st by just skipping out. I tell myself that this year I will not bother but then I do, old habits die hard as they say. What do you do ?
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Not so much routines, more habits. I find I'm unwittingly 'becoming' my Mum. I rub my feet together in bed, hold my hands together behind my back and other weird little idiosynchrosies when I think "Oh bugger, I AM my Mother"
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i am so unlike my parents, i often wonder if the milkman dropped me off :roflanim:
my mother was the worst cook in the world, she could burn water, and when it came to cooking a chicken, the poor thing needed arm bands , she had no idea what so ever..i kid you not, a whole packet of lard would go in ::)
I hated chicken, until i learnt to cook ...
My dad was very very smart..the sort to polish his shoes every night when he came in from work, he would then change into trousers & shirt, then dig the garden for an hour, he would also wash and polish his car 3 times a week,
he also paid every bill on time, yet never had a bank account, he use to have tobacco tins which held all his money, 1 for gas 1 for electric and so on ;D gawd, he was so organised ;D
Me !!!! always untidy, never worry about anything, yet, i think i am happier then what they ever where
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I knew I was turning into my mother the first time I noticed myself talking about my cats to the checkout lady in Tescos.
However in other ways I'm nothing like her. She used to hoover every day and her house was a shrine to minimalism as in she didn't have so much as an ornament or single piece of clutter out, even the books were kept in cupboards. I'm lucky if I can find the hoover under the clutter. She was always late, up to an hour of she didn't think it was that important (ie me and my sister) or a mere fifteen minutes for the doctor. I am early for everything. Like the previous poster's mother she could burn water, everything was "boil for twenty minutes then simmer till grey". I took over the cooking at aged 13, once I'd started doing cookery at school. She could barely thread a needle and knitting was something poor people were forced into so as their kids could have school jumpers. I have six spinning wheels and eleven sewing machines. (At the moment.) She did all the washing on Monday, irrespective of whether you'd run out of clean knickers or not or whether she could dry a full family wash, we had clothes dripping round the house for days in the winter. I wash every day. She couldn't use a screwdriver, I was building furniture up and doing the decorating by aged 17. (My father died when I was 16.) She was incredibly fussy and not the least bit practical. I am the complete opposite.
But I'm her spitting image to look at, and we both talk about our cats to the Tesco ladies, lol.
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My mum was very tidy and organised, I'm well, not!
I have piles of things to sort.. Piles of paper work to file..Piles of clean clothes that never seem to get put a way.. But I am clean, I enjoy dusting and scrubbing the bathroom- can't stand a streaky sink etc (good thing I like to clean being a vet nurse, spend a big part of the day cleaning sinks and walls).
Looking forward to my new steam cleaner I've bought as an xmas treat!!
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One traditions that sticks with me is mum never washed any clothing on New Years day, she said if you do some one close to you will die...I still hold onto that, strange tradition I suppose!!
As for doing things my mum did, not too sure that I do :thinking: , I think I am more like my dad and I have this strange habit of singing or sort of inward whistling to myself, my dad did that, I have my dads sense of humour too and often want to join in when I hear people, usually elderly men but sometimes women, singing to themselves when out shopping.......
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"What Do You Do that Your Mother Did?" Well speaking as a blokey bloke, I don't dress up in womens clothing ! :o :o :o
If however, the question was to be altered to "What Do You Do that Your Dad Did?" Then I most certainly am my fathers son. I'm forever the optimist and I'm constantly buying bargains, which at the time seem to be really a good idea but invariably in a few days time it slowly dawns on me that my purchase has been a waste of time and money. :innocent:
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I pretty much am my mother at the moment, I didn't think I was, though I looked like her, but I have been turning into her for years and sometimes I catch the way I'm sitting, my expression, posture, and I realise it is her exactly ::)
Mum was the one that did the gardening, picked fruit and veg to feed us cheaply because there was no money (dad was a minister so had a free Victorian house but no salary to heat it or pay things, he also had a habit of giving away any money he had at the end of a month until she taught him that having kids means setting a bit away to pay for new shoes!). She made jams and preserves, did crafts though different ones to me (she was a compulsive knitter, made rag rugs out of cut up old clothes, crocheted a double bedspread, embroidered pictures, did tapestry cushions, you name it, I do none of those as she was so good I couldn't bear my early efforts so found different things!), she was a very basic cook as I am, she did domestic tasks on set days which I don't, and hated housework as much as I do tho she had a weekly helper to do heavy housework and I just ignore what I can't manage!
She was widowed at 40 and lived the rest of her days on a tiny part widows pension (Dad died at 56 so didn't merit a full pension and she'd never had a day job with a salary) and eventually her own OAP pension, but unlike me she managed to save off that in case I needed bailing out when I was working abroad in my gap year and she eventually gave me the money anyway when I was buying my first flat years later! I get by like her on very little and am grateful for knowing how, all the recycling and reusing came from her wartime make do and mend experience but I'm not as good as her and not quite as compulsive - I found a huge biscuit tin she had full of buttons, another of screws and picture hooks, curtain rings etc just in case, she even had a bag of bits of string!
Physically I look so much like she did at my age (I discovered a photo recently and its scary since I had my haircut changed to the same as hers earlier this year!) and we both got osteoarthritis in our 40s tho she had both hips replaced and my hips are so far ok touch wood, mine is worst in feet and hands at present but also I feel it in my left shoulder and my back, which she did, we both manage on paracetamol as codeine gives us "very vivid dreams" as a hallucinatory side effect!
Both very pragmatic approach to life, physically active til things started falling apart.. I could go on but there are also key differences, primarily she was much better with people and with responsibility, taking on all sorts of things that "someone" had to do, as a minister's wife it was her career checking up on people and keeping in touch with relations and huge card lists this time of year, she was intensely religious and I don't celebrate Christmas at all, neither religiously nor commercially and I don't keep in touch with extended family as she did, nor old friends - she still exchanged cards with student nurses she lived with in her late teens when she was into her 70s and she hadn't even completed her nursing training when she left to get married because dad was offered a parish and she felt it better to go as a newly wed couple for a complete new start together! Oh and that's a key difference, she married at 19 and had 3 children, she wanted to be a wife and mother above all things and made her marriage work tho she had less romantic love for dad at the time than admiration for his persistence in adoring her and pursuing her and taking her dancing! Oh we both loved dancing, in different ways, but you should have heard us discuss Strictly Come Dancing or, as our final ever conversation Dancing on Ice - she cut me off from our regular Sunday night (and Mothers Day) phone call to watch the DoI finals and that was the last time I heard her voice.
I still have the crocheted blanket she made for my cot and ended up with double bed size, there are rag rugs she made on both sides of the bed, and one of her embroidered pictures is on my wall. My jams and chutneys are pale echoes of hers but our baking is equally mediocre and our gardens equally underutilised but full of good ideas and intentions. And we both love homegrown broccoli!
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I think I am a mixture :thinking:
I am obsessed with getting things to balance as my Mum was! Hence my job for 40 years as an Accountant! :-[ I do a 'reddoot' when I know someone is coming, like my Mum did. I'm not basically a dirty person, but I only clean when I have to, such a great waste of time and effort as it just gets dirty again :-[ :-[
I am passionate about what I believe in, like my Dad was. (politics included, so my apologies if I offend - not for what I say and believe in, but for offending, never my intention :eyelashes:)
My love of animals is from both sides, although my Dad was more the hands on than my Mum - she tolerated me and Dad when we brought home waifs and strays, but wouldn't have helped us. :innocent: And dad was insistent on training the dogs, although his methods would most definitely be frowned on these days - by me as well as anyone else.
So I'm definitely mixed up :innocent:
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I am a bit of a mix too . Not sure about their ways , probably the worst of both , ye gods , that would be a nightmare .
Anyway , mum was a seemstress and i can use a sewing machine , grew up using them .
Dad was in the army , drill sgt , marksman , taught boxing , shooting and unarmed combat .
I hate the army and all it stands for but through dad's contacts i went on various survival exersizes with different regiments including the sas .
I look like my mum but also have my dads expressions . My aunt says i have their speech pattern too , especially mums .
Other than that , i like all the things they didn't , and live a lifestyle they would have hated .
So i am partly them in ways and actions , partly them in looks , but all me on the whole , very different from both . Dad always said "the mould fell to bits after me , luckily !" .
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if i ever turn into my mother please shoot me!!!
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What a lovely thread and wonderful memories.
I am afraid the first thing I thought of was "burping'!!
My son-in-law is always pointing out what a burpy family we are (not loud, just airy burps!!) - and I was talking to my daughter just today and we remembering my mum, deaf as a post, burping happily after a G&T and looking aghast that we heard it - obviously thinking her burbs were silent! We laughed and laughed and remembered her with great affection and we still miss her.
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I realised this week that I am my Dad. He's been in hospital, but instead of being ill, spent his time planning 100 mile bike rides and vegetable plots for when he's well again. It made me realise just how much of me came from him - both good and bad, but I'm very lucky, mostly good.
My Mum is like yours Ellied - jars and drawers of buttons and screws. She even had a box labelled "bits of string too short to use" at one point, but swiftly got rid when my Sister and I started teasing her about it! :innocent:
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its funny what memories a thread can pull up ;D
many many years ago, my step mothers, mum was invited to christmas dinner, anyway, the old bird was deaf , she use to wear the old type hearing aid…the one with the big box that would pick up sound…
dad mentioned that we had venison , but dad called it deer… the old girl went off on a tangent about the price being expensive, dad said No !!! it was Deer…she couldn't make out what the topic really was…then dad leant over and spoke loudly into her hearing Box :roflanim: :roflanim: :roflanim: apart from the high pitch feedback, the old girls eyes nearly popped out of her head :roflanim: :roflanim:
what a classic memory that is
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:roflanim: :roflanim: I have so many happy memories, as my mum was a psychiatric nurse for many years I suppose I do share the empathy she had for diversity and her socialist ideals, dad was a very quiet gentleman, never got cross or swore, :innocent: yet was always cracking jokes, he could turn his hand to anything and always did that whistle. Mum and myself ran a café for years together and she was so disorganised and random...and I find I am too, although I do like to get things organised but then it all goes to pot as I like to do things on the spur of the moment usually ::)
One funny memory was when my then husband to be's brother turned up to collect him on the back of his motor bike, they were farmers sons so lived in the middle of now where...anyway, the twin bother turned up with just his eyes peering from behind scarfs and my mum and him just stared at each other laughing, he looked similar to Marty Felman....they found each other mutually funny...so did we!
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Cross my wooly scarf in an X over my chest to keep it warm
Tuck my vest in
Wear a hat
Clean pants every day in case of an accident
Eat porridge
I do the same with my kids but they won't do the porridge - missing out the best bit I'd say :D
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My mum is organised, houseproud and punctual and I am none of those things. She talks non-stop but denies it if anyone ever says she does. I admit I talk a lot.
On the other hand, we both love children and gravitate to them at any gathering. She's doesn't like my goats and thinks I'm mad for having them and also thinks three dogs is too many.
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I am in shock, my mother in law was around for the day and we got about discussing my husband, her sons, childhood, she said something he used to say that I had never heard him say ever before, my husband was out at work so no way did he hear her, anyway, this morning, my husband came out with the exact sentence...I was actually shocked it was so spooky and nothing most people would ever say!!!!
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"But I'm an old lady……. I can't be doing with all this nonsense……."
Said in the same tone of voice as Elaine Stritch used on that advert when she says:
"I name this is ship... Good heavens! This is Mumm Cordon Rouge Champagne! That's far too good to waste on launching a ship!"
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:roflanim: :roflanim: so true
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my mothers words come out of my mouth. things I haven't heard for 25 yrs just come out, being a mother now I understand her, I just wish she was still here.
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I know the feeling. I often find myself saying and doing things I remember my mum doing. She died over20 years ago but I still miss talking to her, especially at this time of the year.
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My parents died far too young, too!
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wear big comfy pants that are like flags and a cosy vest :D
am I making myself sound attractive ;D
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crying at things on the telly - I could never understand why she did that.
now I bawl at everything. even just reading the school nativity song-sheet brought a tear to my eyes ::)
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I know my daughters say they do things like me but I still cannot think of too much I do, my mum was a very keen reader, she always had books and the newspaper.. I do not read anything really :thinking:
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....Yep I too hear my mums voice coming out of my mouth....My girls say they are starting to sound like me and can hear it in each other as well as themselves....oh well if I am my mum Thats not TOO bad....and if they are me well thats perfect too.
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When my daughter about 11 and I was trying to get her to come and do something, I once said to her, "Amy! Get your nose out of that book." and, at the back of my mind was a little Ping and a voice from the past said, "Lesley! Get your nose out of that book." in exactly the same tone. Scary.
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I reprimand my dog and gander in exactly the same tone. I did it earlier in the shed and think I shocked myself more than the dog!