The Accidental Smallholder Forum
Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: sheila on July 31, 2009, 10:26:08 am
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"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
I met a man yesterday who told me that his greatest discovery in life was when he started to do "random acts of kindness" and how good it made him feel. he is convinced that he gets it back threefold. What do you think?
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Good idea, :bouquet:I hope I do something nice each day anyway...so today I shall be on a special mission and if doganjo reads this, she dose something nice most day's anyway!! thanks Anne!!!
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i always try to do something nice - even if it's just something small like holding a door open or helping someone carry their shopping to the car.
but i have to say people make it hard!!!
i hope at least i manage to balance out the good and bad over the day!!!
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but i have to say people make it hard!!!
I would just like to add that as someone working with the public there are so many rude and unpleasant people going about just now. I have never really noticed it as much before now but it costs nothing to be pleasant and smile. Some people go out of their way to be unpleasant!!!!
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I have noticed people up here seem to be in general a bit more friendly than where I used to live. I have been in soo many shops and met with rude sales people, notmet one yet up here!!!! Also hate tat smarmy, false smile and false "can I help you!!!!!!!!
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I definately believe in 'Karma', what goes around comes around and all that ;)
I try to be as nice as I can, after all a smile and manners cost absolutely nothing, which is something that many of the population seem to have forgotten.
I work with the public and agree with James that some of them make it bloody difficult for me to try and want to help them! ::)
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I think the man has read:
The Rules of Life
by Richard Templar
But he has already broken rule 1.
A great book - if only everyone had a copy or they taught this in school ;D ;D ;D
Julie (The Bookworm)
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I truly believe that every stranger you meet is a potential friend, and every person who treats you badly has missed the opportunity of gaining your friendship to their detriment. I was always taught that good manners cost nothing, even though they may not be acknowledged or appreciated by others...She who must be obeyed is always astonished by how easily I strike up a conversation with complete strangers and how within five minutes of meeting someone we are on first name terms...I can't understand why she finds it difficult; people are fascinating and everyone reacts better to a smile than a frown.
On the other hand...I hate to be crossed and can be very curt with people who are disrespectful of myself, family or friends...and could even be physically violent with anyone causing deliberate hurt/harm to someone or something, particularly old people, children and animals!!!
Maybe I'm only human after all
Farmer ;)
:farmer:
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Human - but a nice one ;D
I used to have the same problem with John - he couldn't understand why I would want to exchange life stories with complete strangers! But a lot of these complete strangers became over time some of his best friends. He died amongst friends that I had encouraged him to go and join their club - the Cairngorm Climbing Club. A great bunch of guys and gals.
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I used to get some funny looks and blank stares when I struck up conversations with strangers, most thought I was mad (now come on, bare with me) that was down south, only had it at the recycling plant, when I started to make a joke with one women she blanked me and she certaily spoke the same language as I heard her talking. Once, on a 20 min train trip down south I thought I would keep myself to myself and another women my age sat next to me and poured her heart out in durring the journey, at the time I was about to get off, she asked my name and shook my hand and the strange thing is, a lump came into my throat!!!!!!
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I try to me nice to everyone (but occasionally i get narked by people and my emotions get the best of me) I believe in Karma and believe in the treat other how you would like to me treated statement.
It cost nothing apart from 2/3 min extra to open and keep a door for someone, If you're running late and your hands full would you like to have a door opened for you ?
If i see someone need help i normally smile at them and if they smile/friendly look back i offer help.
I can remember helping an elderly couple in blackpool a couple of years ago with a flat tyre. I was walking to full lenght of the sea front to an internet cafe to submit an assignment while on hoilday. The elderly man was attempting to jack the car up and wasn't getting very far as he has parked over a drain gride where the jack was to go. So got him and his wife sorted out and got given a tissue for my hand which i declined as i thought i was money note lol. Then put the tyre in the back of their car and got given what i thought was a tissue and it was a £5 note lol.
I was totally surprise for the money as I was doing for the sake of being there and they needed help and they promptly drove off.
As we walked off in shock we walk up a bit and a group of people at a bus stop asked us if we sorted them out. (my thought was if you where that worried you could have help them out !!!)
People are strange ones
Linz
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My Dogma was run over by a Karma!
Seriously though,or not so seriously,laugh and the whole world laughs with you. (down south,smile and they wonder what you're thinking about)
I believe in Karma,or whatever it is if you're not a Hindu. Since moving here and changing my ways and mindset,things are a lot different and much more happier...........Ree
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I believe that time is the most precious gift we have in our life and to share this with someone is what we should all be doing :)
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I also believe in Karma, I used to tell my daughters if they killed a spider something owuld happen to them.The thought of Karma keeps me from loosing it, what somes around goes around!!!! so where is my money????
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I believe
You are all a lot of nice people and it doesnt matter what you believe in as long as you know how to love
and you all seem very capable of doing that in several ways
x x x
Julie
PS Yes I may have had a cople of glasses of wine tonignht
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I've had no alcohol at all tonight and I agree with you, Jules!
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life is measured in friends not years and days :)
I only have a couple of friends but i think it is quality not quantity ;)
Linz
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life is measured in friends not years and days :)
I only have a couple of friends but i think it is quality not quantity ;)
Linz
And what are we? ;D ;D ;D
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I read in an article, that most people don't know how to handle a "random act of kindness" if it "hits" them. For example, if something you want to buy is already paid for by a stranger, gets us totally confused - and I agree! I would go through a whole lot of things in my mind about the other person's motivation and the going away with the remaining feeling of owing them something! Generally, it doesn't hurt to be nice or polite and give strangers the benefit of doubt, one can miss out on so much by not communicating with people. :&>
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Re shops and restaurants, I read an article a couple of weeks ago about tourism in Scotalnd and the writer said that in Britain, we confuse service with servility and I think there is some truth in that. Some folk seem to feel that if you are nice to someone or offer genuine service that you are somehow inferior. Probably goes back to the class syatem.
I haven't been drink9ing but the kittens are helping me! :cat: :cat:
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I think you get better service if you look "rich" that's probably why I have had some bad experiences although I used to like shopping in the small market town where I lived as everyone knew me and sometimes I would get a free cup of tea as well as a bit of the latest gossip. Once I took something back for my mother in law to an old fashioned shop, the shop owner looked down on me and begrudgingly gave me the money back she was probably rude to me as it was raining and I was a bit bedraggled!!! now my Oh has very different experiences, we regulalry went into Harrods for a look ::), he would ask to look at the shirts and the sales staff would take all the pins out and I knew he had no moeny to buy any of them but he was treated very well, it's all in the breeding, I am from working stock and he is more show stock ;D
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And...I've not had a drink yet but I am very cold and it's summer ::)
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That sounds interesting to me, coming from abroad, and in all those years here NEVER got to grips with the class system before now. I just didn't understand how some people dare to talk down to me the way they do, but they must talk down to everyone (almost!). I'm still polite, that's how I was raised, but won't take any cr.. :&> ;D
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Theres an experiment, get two people to be awkward customers, one looking wealthy and one looking rough (I can do rough) see who gets treated better!!
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and the rough one being polite and the rich one rude - would their attitude make any difference? What a case study for an anthropologist! :&>
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life is measured in friends not years and days :)
I only have a couple of friends but i think it is quality not quantity ;)
Linz
And what are we? ;D ;D ;D
quality ;)
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I keep thinking about Forest Gump as my life is like a box of chocolates, everyday a new experience.
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life is not measured by the friends i your life but the life in your friends!!!