The Accidental Smallholder Forum
Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: Womble on January 30, 2013, 05:31:24 pm
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Dear Mr Apple Tree Seller,
Thankyou for sending our new apple trees. On your instructions you say that they can be planted any time between October and the end of February, as long as the soil is neither frozen nor waterlogged.
We live in Scotland.
Please will you advise?
Yours sincerely,
Womble.
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;D liked that Womble, we just ordered up additions to our orchard, told the seller not to send them until March please ::)
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I'd put them in pots until June at the earliest. It might be dry by then. :roflanim:
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Dear Mr Apple Tree Seller,
Thankyou for sending our new apple trees. On your instructions you say that they can be planted any time between October and the end of February, as long as the soil is neither frozen nor waterlogged.
We live in Scotland.
Please will you advise?
Yours sincerely,
Womble.
Dear Mr Womble
Our tree's require planting in unfrozen un-saturated ground sometime between October and the end of February.
I think that is fairly clear.
If you feel this isn't possible where you are located may i suggest for the sake of our tree's you move as in the next 29 days our babies need to be planted in appropriate ground conditions...
Actually now i think about it you live in Scotland and purchased tree's to plant in winter, what kind of Apple tree murdering sicko are you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Best Wishes
Mr Apple Tree Seller
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:roflanim:
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Don't water them in :innocent:
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Dear Apple Tree Feller,
Thankyou for your reply. As it happens, we are indeed wishing we had moved somewhere warmer, drier and generally more comfortable (like Wales perhaps). However, since it was a ten year dream of ours to have just a little patch of mud to call our own, we're not willing to give up on it yet.
Our existing eight trees kindly clubbed together to produce one small withered green apple between them last year. Perhaps they were upset at having witnessed the murder of four of their new companions at the beak of Mr G. Gander? (Please note that since approximately three days before Christmas, Mr Gander has posed no threat to vegetation of any kind, so I was hoping that your new trees would survive past infancy this time).
Oh well, you live and learn. A friend told me that we should concentrate on the crops that naturally do well in these surroundings, so I'm going to give up on the apples and plant nettles, thistles, hard rushes and rocks instead. I already know that nettle beer is disgusting, but do you know if it is possible to make thistle cider?
Best regards,
Womble.
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Dear Mr Womble
Whilst i can't vouch for the qualities of thistle cider, if you do manage to find a passable recipe so we can quickly steal it and graft some thistle flavoured apples onto our tree's...
As to your approach to this Mr G Gander fellow i can only congratulate you on your positive approach to Apple Tree Protection...
For maximum yields on your land may i interest you in a bulk order of out Grade 1 rocks??? Even your climate will struggle to kill them although they are very slow growing!!!*
Regards
The Apple Tree Geeezer
*Rocks not guaranteed to crop in your lifetime!!!
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:roflanim: :roflanim: brilliant
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nice one!
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:roflanim:
We bought some local grown fruit trees, 3 years ago as suggested by an ex farmer from the area and the apples trees had quite a few apples on, they are still fairly small trees, when I went to collect the apples most had gone, I thought some one must be scrumping until I saw our Hens jumping to great heights and eating them ALL!!!!
We had nothing from the plum or the pair tree and very carefuly chose ones that did not need cross pollination...arh well.....nothing on my nut tree either :(
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.....Happygolucky ,don`t mention the word "NUTS" :tree: :tree: :tree: :tree:
Tilly :roflanim:
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The " Nut " tree was a present from my daughter to ward of evil spirits.......its not working..NO NUTS!!!...maybe thats why?
Hazel Nuts buy the way :innocent:
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At least the correspondance between the apple tree seller and buyer put a smile on my face.
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Scotch on the rocks all round then !