The Accidental Smallholder Forum
Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: happygolucky on December 20, 2012, 09:56:15 am
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Hi, my husband is Dyslexic it effects the way he processed information and it can be very testing when he will ask for explanations of everything and often ask several times, however, in a work environment, he usually, once its sunk in, works without any problem, off his own initiative, he currently works with an agency, our problem is his current boss had supervision and had picked up the way he works and that's when the mention of Dyslexia came in, his boss said he must tell the agency and prospective bosses before he works as then they will be able to help him.....well, this is true BUT, in this time of job shortage, how can that be the case, most people wanting a temp worker will see that and go to the next worker, yet he is very good at his job, no matter what the law says...sad but true.
So, I know there are few out there with Dyslexia etc, do you say or not? I would even worry about telling employers about my problems...
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As an employer, I currently have a person working with me who is dyslexic. Her honesty, caring skills and fab sense of humour are natural qualities that mean more to me than her ability to write and spell
I would promote honesty
Mojo
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My husband has been told he is great with the people he works with the main issue is its not a perm job, he actually is finishing just after Christmas and if he tells the agency, the people needing instant staff will possibly choose some one else. In his permanent jobs it was made known and as they were council jobs, they did help him a lot....sometimes, his thinking is very different, his logic is not too good and that worries me although I am very experienced at working with people with learning difficulties and the difference is, often once they are taught the proper way, they will keep to that way, whereas I may cut corners!!!
My husband is very down yet again as he had a job in Edinburgh that he was going back to but now they have employed some one else...so when this one ends there is nothing again..
Also, he does not drive, and in Edinburgh came off his bike due to the tram lines, now they will not let him use his bike for work, he has to visit clients.....its effecting all sorts of things and it scares me a lot!!
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If you lie - either by telling a lie or by omitting to tell something germane - on your application then you may find you lose many if not all of your employee's rights and, for instance, can be sacked on the spot.
Sadly I suspect you are right and that many if not most small employers, given a choice of applicants, would initially look at those who do not have disabilities that would affect their performance in the job. Larger employers probably have quotas and may be pleased to be able to employ someone who can not only do the job but also tick an equality box for them.
If you are not honest and anyone talks to a previous employer who mentions it... :-\
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Apparently, I checked with the disability rights people, you have no obligation to discuss disability to an employer and they can not pass on info re your disability to future or past employers, even if you have spoken about your disabilities, its an infringement on human rights...that's one side, in permanent jobs its best to say and explain so that measures can be put in to assist the disabled employee.
As for agency work, any person employing an agency worker can finish them..."Just Like That" and can skate around the disability laws unless, you have told them and then they have not made the necessary adjustments for you to be able to work like any non disabled person, however, that's still very very difficult in non permanent positions.
Its a no win situation.... :(
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I am another one for honesty. Its very tough because he might well be turned down for a job because of it although they will use some other reason, but when he does get a job they will be more understanding and value him for the work that he does.
Sally
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It is always best to be honest, but I do understand what you mean about possibly being passed over. But really dyslexia is not a big problem except for paperwork, and I would have thought Steve's lack of logic is unrelated. (is that not just because he's a man :innocent:)
Some information withheld could affect the company's insurance but I can't see that dyslexia would.
I'm sorry he has nothing lined up after Christmas, but you've been here before and it has worked out. I hope he finds a job very soon. Wish I could help, but all I need is someone to help with my huge garden, as I've said before.
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He usualy does say in perm jobs...hes just been doing bits of filling in for ages and now is a bit down yet again, he now wants to re train, he is a Youth Worker, so am I....now wants to do the extra bit for Social Work, and I wish I had done that too!! Most social jobs with councils are great re disability although, when I had my hip very bad, I had to keep reminding my crap boss at that time, I could not work physicaly with disabled children as no matter what, they always ended up needing some physical intervention that was unsafe for me to do!!! anyway, thats me done years ago!!
THanks ALL
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Its much more than paper work with him, in fact his written skills are good afterall he did manage a Degree, but his short term memory is very bad and so is his processing of information is bad, IT is a big problem, logic problems are difficult, eg, if he came out of a room without his shoes he would think they have gone!! but logically they would be in there...we have that one all the time...Once he went to a house to check their gas meter...he said they did not have one, I knew they would as most have, he did not think logically and look in other places than where ours was in our house, it was outside the front but I would have known there was one some where whereas he has little logic. There is loads of work for him about its just getting it!!! He has had loads of interviews and loosing heart but he is great with people and sorting logical things out like paying bills, sorting out benefits etc etc.........I have work if needed anyway but he is very down as he turned down some other work to get the one he is doing now and is being finished earlier than expected and now the other job is taken!!
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Major problem - I can see that. Basically, I was diagnosed with a mental health issue 30 years ago - I never mention it in a job application, because with the job situation as it is, what chance would I have to get a job at all? And in fact, a secure job would be the one factor that would ensure I have less mental health issues... So I'm all for mentioning it only when it really matters. So your husband is dyslexic? Well, does the job entail writing anything for publication? If not - don't mention it. (That's the only way "normal" people understand dyslexia.)
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Happygolucky, don't have an answer to the dilemma but interesting what you say about lack of logic. My husband and 14 year old son are similar. Very intelligent but both will claim things have "gone" or "aren't there" ..... similar things to examples you give. I've been told that my son thinks outside the box ..... just wish he'd think inside it sometimes. ::) Although not diagnosed and certainly not severe, I (ex-primary teacher) have sometimes felt that my son maybe slightly dyslexic and certainly learns/approaches things in an unusual way. Has got A grades in his mock, mocks (yes, they have mock,mocks ::) ) so I am not overly concerned but do find it fascinating how different people see things/learn. Also I can now see far more clearly than when I was teaching how difficult some learning/working environments must be for some children/adults and how even the very academic may struggle or under achieve.
Sorry, no answers but I wish him well and bet he has loads of strengths and much to offer.
Cross posted with Ina and agree that many may only be aware of the written/reading aspect.
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Its so hard, I think mental health issues confuse a lot of employers..if it were a mobility issue etc it would be easier to understand, Ina, I so agree, its going to stress him out and result in us having a miserable time if he has no job, that's understandable to anyone, that's a good reason we are downsizing so it does not matter too much, small morgage = less worry.
In the Hills, my grandson is very similar, they can make you smile as well, for instance, another example that happens often is no multi tasking skills, he tackles only one job at a time, one day he went up the garden empty handed to get the empty wheel barrow, even though there were things to take up, I watched and he came back down with the empty wheel barrow and left a bucket full of stuff at the top of the garden, when the wheel barrow was where he wanted it, he went back up the garden, empty handed again, to get the bucket of rubbish, then, when that was in the correct place, he took the stuff up the garden, so that's 3 trips when it should have been 1, he does that with everything.....although he can remember political stuff and read a lot....Its certainly hard work sometimes and get the name for something wrong and its a long uphill struggle, when I am chatting with him I often regret mentioning things that are too obscure for him to understand...a friend who worked with him for ages and has a fantastic sense of humer sent him a text, it was ment for hima and I saw the funny side straight away but my husband did not get it and thought it WAS a mistake, it was at Christmas and went something like this:_
Happy Easter Harry and Mary from your friends Hilda and Joe from the alzheimer's club
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My younger son has epilepsy and dyslexia. He usually doesn't mention either on application forms but, if he gets an interview, will mention the epilepsy and say that he hasn't had a seizure in years. If he gets the job he will then mention the dyslexia if it is going to be relevant. His spelling is good as is his handwriting. Where he has problems is in processing information and writing down what he wants to say. I can understand this as my dyslexia takes the same form.
I suggested he mentioned the problems when applying for jobs and he says he won't get an interview then. He says that if he gets as far as an interview he stands a chance as he interviews well His biggest problem is that most employers in his line of work (care) want people with clean driving licences. As he still has the occasional 'absense' (and those usually occur when he is resting, ie watching TV) he can't apply for a licence.
I was only diagnosed with dyslexia a year ago so it hasn't been an issue for me.
On the bright side, I find it difficult to remember what I have just read, especially non-fiction, and need to read something several times before it penetrates my brain. I love to read crime books and can read the same one more than once as, although I remember that I've read the book before once I've started it, I can't remember who dunnit.
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Mad Goatwoman of Madeley (http://www.accidentalsmallholder.net/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=23109), blimey your life is soooo similar to mine, my husband cannot drive and similar, he can however drive but has not passed a test as he is a little worried, he nearly went for his test a few years ago, passed his theory but then money was tight, like it is now.....he needs to drive.
A lot of people do not understand that Dyslexia is not about spelling, in fact, my spelling is very poor and in no way am I Dyslexic, or maybe I am?? He like you, reads loads of books and cannot re call them!!! I often say life's all a suprise to him as he sometimes even forgets what hes had for tea or dinner..it is a serious concern for me some days though!!
He gets the wrong words, I did laugh when we were taking the plaster off the wall and he found some material behind the plaster and said " Hay, its some Hacienda" :roflanim: of course he meant Hesian....
He was lucky and got a diagnosis at 8 they other thing that made me smile is he used to go to Ballet and had an audition for the Royal Ballet School but could not do hands and feet at the same time, as I said, he cannot multi task!!! he gave up Ballet at 13 Buy the way ::)
It is a very difficult disability that did cause him to have health issues when a child.........funny how me and you have so much in common...Oh and we are both care workers, he is brilliant working with street homeless, he used to work in Liverpool, London and Oxford and Leicester, that's where we moved from, there we both had a brill network of work contacts, anyway, I got him a contact a min ago with hopefully some hostel work, that he IS good at!! :wave:
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employers often have targets that need to be met to cover anti discrimination law and you might find that his dyslexia could be an employment advantage particularly with a larger firm.
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I hope so, but only when he actualy gets another perm job....agencies can choose and get rid of you in a flash......its hard!!
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On the bright side, I find it difficult to remember what I have just read, especially non-fiction, and need to read something several times before it penetrates my brain. I love to read crime books and can read the same one more than once as, although I remember that I've read the book before once I've started it, I can't remember who dunnit.
I am exactly the same but I have never considered myself dyslexic.
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I had a person working for me whose medical condition meant he wasn't going to be able to do flexible/extra hours which most of our department roles needed. Because he was open about the reason to me, i was able to ensure that he was in a role where this would be less of an issue, and also that he wasn't in any way penalised at appraisal. And when he moved on and applied for a new role, he agreed to disclose to his new boss so the same consideration could apply.
So it can work well - but my organisation was quite switched on about those things and I did try to be a 'good' boss - but if he hadn't felt able to be open i wouldnt have been able to make reasonable adjustments as the law requires.
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Happy-go-Lucky, we certainly have lots on common. I, too, have done care work and so has my son. His last job was working with children with learning disabilities. ATM he is working his way round Australia but will probably go back into care when he returns next year. Oh and I often say the wrong word as well. Gives people a laugh. ;D
Doganjo, it is definitely one of the signs. I also have problems with lefts and rights and maps. Have to turn it upside down if we are travelling south so I know which way to turn.
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I worked for many years with disabled children and if I work now I still work with disabled adults, I like it but like you, my body cannot cope with some one suddenly falling on me :eyelashes:
I do not really read any more, I for some reason cannot sit still to take stuff in except on here...not keen on fiction anyway but I occasionally read something interesting, however my husband reads a lot.....
Its also hard when my husband has an interview, he does not always come over they way he should do.....well it is very hard for anyone now. Filling in forms is also a nightmare for him, he can talk but when it comes to putting it down it comes out wrong, with random sentences....that still is not really the problem. I can usually work out whats wrong with things even if I have no skills, one funny and annoying thing was we had a flat tyre and so had to change it with the spare, I said I could drop the tyre off to be repaired and he went on and on and on as he could not get it how we could leave the wheel and tyre there.....I kept saying the same things and he still found it hard until we actually took it to the tyre fitters and then he got it!! When we have had people on night shifts he finds it very difficult to work out how many nights they have stayed......anyway, fingers crossed and he will get more work, like I said I have some work anyway if needed!!
My eldest daughter recons she does things too that she forgets she has done or thinks she has done things that she has not, her dad is like that and so is Steve!!
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Doganjo, it is definitely one of the signs. I also have problems with lefts and rights and maps. Have to turn it upside down if we are travelling south so I know which way to turn.
I don't do that and I'm pretty sure I'm not dyslexic, not after 4 Highers and an Accountancy degree and 50 years as an auditor! :innocent: Is there a test I could take?
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There is a test but it's costly. I had it done for free as I was doing a college course but I think you're looking at around £200 maybe more.
Getting a degree isn't necessarily a sign that you don't have it. I have a degree, a Masters and done my teacher's training (PGCE). People with dyselxia develop coping strategies, such as turning the map upside down. I also work out which is my left hand by checking which one has my wedding ring on it.
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I really don't think I am dyslexic. :eyelashes: Just done an online test and scored -80 which shows I'm not at all dyslexic. :relief:
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Steve has loads of methods to help, he writes things down all the time whereas I keep stuff in my head, he also goes over and over information whereas I skim read, things like instructions I never read :innocent:
Its more a case of needing good teachers rather than being a poor learner.
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I have no answers either as I have no experience of these sorts of issue, DITW gave a very good possibility, but in any case I really wish you and your hubby well and good luck
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On the bright side, I find it difficult to remember what I have just read, especially non-fiction, and need to read something several times before it penetrates my brain. I love to read crime books and can read the same one more than once as, although I remember that I've read the book before once I've started it, I can't remember who dunnit.
I am exactly the same but I have never considered myself dyslexic.
Me too and I am emphatically not dyslexic. My memory, however, is random and a mystery to me and all who know me. ::) (And, truth to tell, often an embarrassment :-[)
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I must re literate, Dyslexia is not a measure of intelligence, that's a very narrow old fashioned view that many have and that's the danger, you can be as thick as 2 short planks and not be Dyslexic or have the highest qualifications and be Dyslexic, think of it as its possibly easier to learn from books but to do things without instruction is a different matter.....More like programming a computer rather than learning!!!
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I have a very bright dyslexic friend so I know it's not a measure of intelligence. But because I have a dyslexic friend I know that I do not have dyslexia myself. If one aspect of dyslexia is word blindness, I have 20/20 vision and then some. Same with numbers.
Can't remember facts though, to save my life. ::) I even forget really important personal things. And I'm very poor at managing my time, I really have to work hard at organisation and punctuality.
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I have mental health problems, have had for 20 odd years, I've fought it, hid it, done well for myself both in qualifications and work and up to five or so years ago thought it was under control, only a couple of people knew there was anything there, then it all crashed down on me and as I broke down very publicaly everyone knew.
I was incredibly lucky to have private health care (Nhs provision for mental health issues is disgraceful) and have had (and still am for that matter) the best care money can buy.
I now function quite splendidly most of the time. I also have gone through several reincarnations, taking hobbies and making money from them. I now have my own dog grooming salon, I spend my days with my dogs and other people's dogs, my dogs keep me level. I still do a bit of shearing on the side in the summer.
I don't use computers, only my iPad, I don't use a mobile phone, I have created my own bubble that has as little unknowns as possible and I'm happy, I control me, nobody else controls me.
Just doing things for yourself has made me better, I have some self esteem now
Best advice I can give is find something that you can do for yourself, use the time when there is no work to develop yourself to change your reliance on working for others and work for yourself it is so rewarding, at the same time identify what your problems are and manage them as honestly as you can so those strategies work in the real world , you can't manage everything but life can be a whole lot easier just by accepting yourself and being honest with yourself
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And also learn to use full stops and commas, sorry for my dreadful grammar, I am ashamed
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And also learn to use full stops and commas, sorry for my dreadful grammar, I am ashamed
At least it's readable and your speloling is OK! ;)
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Alister I totally agree, its pointless doing work that makes life hard for you,
don't use computers, only my iPad, I don't use a mobile phone, I have created my own bubble that has as little unknowns as possible and I'm happy, I control me, nobody else controls me.
Just doing things for yourself has made me better, I have some self esteem now
I do think Steve learns by doing things for himself, if left with no help he works things out and then remembers everything, Alister you are obviously a very intelligent person that can also push themself, the push is all important, no use having a Porche engine and a Noddy driver :innocent:
Steve is incredibly bad with I.T. although I often leave him and he can do things!! strangely his non related brother is brilliant at IT, that's what he does for a job and he is also Dyslexic!
As for jobs and intellect, many jobs are more suitable than others, Steve is no good at DIY so work on a building site is not good either and other similar jobs, although he does push himself and works hard and likes physical stuff, but something like accountancy would be ideal, our accountant is Dyslexia and he makes it all so easy to understand and he is Chartered too, a lovely man indeed. I know some people have issues with numbers but to Steve numbers are his key, he loves anything to do with numbers, I joke about all autistic people I worked with love" Countdown" :innocent: He also is good at reading time tables etc.......and he did go for a train job but has not met the criteria!!
Best advice I can give is find something that you can do for yourself, use the time when there is no work to develop yourself to change your reliance on working for others and work for yourself it is so rewarding, at the same time identify what your problems are and manage them as honestly as you can so those strategies work in the real world , you can't manage everything but life can be a whole lot easier just by accepting yourself and being honest with yourself
and ALister, I may just print your post out and pin it to our bedroom door, that has touched me so much as its spot on!!!!!!!! THANKS!!!!!!!
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Yes, people do tend to confuse having dyslexia with lacking intelligence. Eintein was dyslexic and I don't think they come much more intelligent.
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Both hubby and I have dyslexia, though hubby has it a lot worse than I and is a little dyspraxic too. We dont mention we have dyslexia. sometimes it asks if your disabled twice, once by the law and once by "do you think yourself as disabled". Hubby answers yes to one, and no to the other.
Since I have very mild dyslexia, its not really an issue in the work place, once I know a routine it gets done quick... its only if i have to write, that it becomes an issue, as to have readable hand writting it takes ages to write. My sentence structure can also be all over the place too, but usually not an issue with short letter writting. If my dyslexia was going to affect my job, then I would mention it.
Hubby has just finished a PHD, and is now a Research Assistant at the local university, who mainly does teaching of maths and physics upto Masters level.
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Yes, people do tend to confuse having dyslexia with lacking intelligence. Eintein was dyslexic and I don't think they come much more intelligent.
In case anyone didn't realise, that was supposed to say Einstein.
Pel, no doubt your husband had to work harder than others but it just shows what can be achieved. The educational psychologist who assessed me for dyslexia also had a PhD and several more academic qualifications is also dyslexic.
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It annoys me when people think Dyslexic people just cannot read or are not intelligent...I worked and taught Dyslexic students for years and they all were as different as we all are, yet they all had a diagnosis of Dyslexia and I found ways to explain things clearer....I have to go over and over t hings with my husband until he clicks...we are doing some DIY tonight and that's been a hard slog....putting coving up, a few choice words from us both.... but now its nearly done and eventually he sorted it out himself, Life Alister said, the best way...Pel, you and your husband are good exaples, in my opinion, Dyslexic people have to work and study much harder, to some people things just soak up like a sponge, to some one with dyslexia, they absorbtion rate is slower!!!!
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Some years ago when I lived in Winchester, there was a guy on the local news who had lost an arm and a leg in a car accident, he was told by the assesment doctor that he wasn't disabled enough to get disability benefit.
So , if you're not getting benefit then you're not disabled so you don't have to tell anyone..... :innocent:
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That is incredible. My elder son was born with no left hand and a short forearm and he gets it. TBH there isn't much he can't do for himself but there was no question that he would be turned down. However, as a child he was turned down every year despite the fact that several others with children with the same disability got it straight away. It just depends which doctor you see.
The doctor who came to assess me for disability benefits recently wouldn't let me tell him what I couldn't do. He kept saying he only wanted to know what I could do for myself. the letter that came afterwards said that I didn't need help for lots of things that I do need help with (getting out of chairs, for example) so didn't need more than the lowest rate. My OH has to get out of bed every night more than once to help me as well as several times a day. Madness.
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you have to appeal. everybody with a disability is being told their not disabled to try to reduce the welfare budget, appeal.
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The questions they ask make it difficult for any one.........the funny thing is I walk for an hour itch the dogs each day...if I didn't then I would become more disabled.....the trouble is many jobs make things worse......
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Sadly, benifit cheats are great at knowing what to say, the people who do suffer find it much harder to claime benifits that would make thier work easier.
When my husband worked for the council they were fantastic, although some workers did not understand some of his problems...
I never forget working after I had my hip operation, it had only been 6 weeks and one social worker asked me to collect stuff from a foster carer that had belonged to a girl that had been placed somewhere else, when I arrived the stuff was up steep stairs and consisted of several large bin bags of clothing etc, a huge TV and a full fish tank!! ::) I only took the bags and sent some one else around for the other stuff!!
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Don't they just? I know someone on full DLA because she has mental health problems and is supposedly at risk of suicide as she has taken numerous overdoses. She drives herself to hospital afterwards and no one who knows her will take her any more. The hospital staff no longer take any notice of her but still she goes - four times one week. She's told me a few times that she's taken too many pills and when I ask what she's taken, it's always something like four paracetomel and two ibuprofen. She just wants attention.
I am planning on appealing and expected to have to do so.
Happy, you're very wise knowing your limitations and sticking to them. I drove us to Liverpool and back on Christmas Day, (1 3/4 hours) rather than not see my grandchildren and daughter and regretted it afterwards - not seeing them but the drive was too much and I slept on her sofa when we got there and was fit to drop when I got home.
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We had a women stay here on full DLA......she was the same...she rang the Dr, he came straight out, when he had gone she went off for the day...the Dr surgery is a few yards away. we have been doing a lot of DIY and that's done me I , mentally as I have to explain and Argue with my husband as to what we need to do...then shift stuff...
the government are cutting back but the wrong people are loosing out...my specialist was very sympathetic...