The Accidental Smallholder Forum
Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: deepinthewoods on November 13, 2012, 08:32:53 pm
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Me and my husband had that sort of discussion tonight on our dog walks, we both have worked in homeless and with vulnerable people, we are all a step away from that. I so hate the spend on crap that we are all encouraged to do, I would hate to have a young family now, it was bad enough in the 80.s but now children are teased if they have not got the current trend and that's a hard thing to bare as a parent, I still feel guilt about not being able to afford stuff other children had. So many people have no proper home, no proper food, hope a lot of people recognised how conned we are into consumerism!!
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It doesn't matter how bad things get, there is always someone worse off than yourself.
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I watched an interview with a man who had escaped from being forced into militias in Somalia and was living (5 years on, still bearing machete scars) in a tent with his family in a refugee camp in Somaliland which isnt recognised as a country altho it is more functional than Somalia.
His life and prospects and dignity made me think very hard about what I take for granted.
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Thanks, DITW for making us think about how much we have. Roof over my head, never hungry, always have just enough money to pay the bills. I am rich in comparison to many.
It doesn't matter how bad things get, there is always someone worse off than yourself.
When I feel down about becoming disabled, I remind myself that ok I may need crutches to get about outside but I have legs and I can walk.
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Thanks - facing OH's quite likely redundancy (following the wonderful :huff: >:( >:( victory of the dinner ladies who think they should have had the same bonuses as the binmen - is it me, or shouldnt they have changed jobs? I grew up knowing that being a bin man was quite well paid, and being a dinner lady was not (my mam being one of those and loving it)......??) and a period of 'oh s**t what are we going to do'..... need to just be thankful for roof, bed and freezer full of pork (and let go of anger towards sueing ladies and bloodsucking lawers). :tree: :tree: :tree: :tree: OM
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FiB, hope things turn out good in the end an extreamly stressful time indeed >:(
My OH'sjob went, although he worked for an agency it was long term, we have huge bills here so we worry, thats the main reason we need to sell, people do not realise how bad counting your pennies is, we had a row over christmas presents last year and how much we should spend....THis year we both joined a few more agencies so hopefuly more chance of continuouse work, we actualy live very frugaly now and I am happy with that.....we should not be brain washed into buying so much stuff but concentrate on what we do have.....I vistited my ex last year and he asked if my husband was driving yet, now he had passed his theory but the lessons were too costly so until we get a steady income he is not taking it up, my ex had the cheek to say, well its important to drive and I replied, its more important to pay the morgage!!!!! My husband has and does work all over scotland and uses his push bike, so in a way better.... I am looking forward to having a tiny house with tiny out goings :)
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I count my blessings every day. We both work hard and are lucky to have the health and capacity to do so. And we both love what we do. I can't see Dan ever giving up his "webby" work - he gets withdrawal symptoms if he spends less than 20 hours a week in front of a screen ;D But we're looking at our outgoings to see where we can reduce our commitments so that he can afford to be selectve about what work he takes on.
I love the sentiment of Christmas and I love getting together with the family. It's a source of some regret that in 45 years I haven't had Christmas with my sister and her family. Actually, maybe we should just do it :idea: . Not fussed about the presents and stuff but love the feel-good factor. And watching "A Muppet Christmas Carol". Sorry, got slightly off topic there.
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I think some times money gets in the way of the true meaning of Christmas, I love the sentiment as well!!! You made me think Rosemary, I went to see my brother when we got married 2 years ago, in fact we all went and met up with him in ASDA, a bit like this is your life, apart from that is also been at least 20 years since I saw him!!!
Very hard times for families, everything is costing more and but wages not keeping up with the increased prices.......not sure just how some people manage!
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I think a lot of people forget that we live in a pretty good place. Our poor have houses and clothes(generally), we have health care we dont need to pay for(directly anyway) and plenty water :raining: ! Things could be so much worse.
I feel my biggest challenge is to bring up my kids without them being materialistic or missing out. I'm turning into an old bore that bangs on about "not knowing how lucky we are"!
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Thanks for that DITW :thumbsup:
It's easy to get down about money and other things, but that certainly puts it into perspective!
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I think the trouble today is people want everything now, no planning and saving like you used to have to do. Kids get far too much money spent on them. I was brought up on hang me downs clothes and never thought I was hard done by. Most mothers nowadays have to buy the best for their children which they out grow in no time at all. Too much food ends up in the bin. My mother taught me that a roast chicken could do 3 meals. Sunday roast then picked clean for a chicken and mushroom pie. Bones made soup. She passed down lots of ideas that i still used today. The young just cannot be bothered. Or do not have the knowledge. Time we made more of an effort in this country.
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Thanks - facing OH's quite likely redundancy (following the wonderful :huff: >:( >:( victory of the dinner ladies who think they should have had the same bonuses as the binmen - is it me, or shouldnt they have changed jobs? I grew up knowing that being a bin man was quite well paid, and being a dinner lady was not (my mam being one of those and loving it)......??)
While I understand you being upset about your OH's possible redundancy (been there, done that), please think of this: Have you ever tried to get a job as a "bin man" (note - it says "man" on the label!) as a woman? You can't. The better paid jobs are generally reserved for men. And it's even institutionalised: every farmer employing a woman goes against the law - women are, by law, not allowed to lift more than 20kg; as you probably know, all feed etc. comes in 25kg bags. (I was told, on the farm, I had to take 5kg out of the bags before I lifted them - of course they knew that I wouldn't do it, but that way they kept on the right side of the law.)
And I can't even get a job as a kitchen assistant because I'm bloody overqualified. Would love to work as a "bin man", but they'll never employ a middle aged woman with a couple of degrees.
Sorry, rant over. I still count my blessings and am grateful for what I have, even if it doesn't always show!
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I think the trouble today is people want everything now, no planning and saving like you used to have to do. Kids get far too much money spent on them. I was brought up on hang me downs clothes and never thought I was hard done by. Most mothers nowadays have to buy the best for their children which they out grow in no time at all. Too much food ends up in the bin. My mother taught me that a roast chicken could do 3 meals. Sunday roast then picked clean for a chicken and mushroom pie. Bones made soup. She passed down lots of ideas that i still used today. The young just cannot be bothered. Or do not have the knowledge. Time we made more of an effort in this country.
Agree 100% too much of a throw away society, the other day i was doing some mending, eg buttons on shirts, patching rips etc, my SIL asked why didn't i just throw 'em away and buy new? i just replied because they was nothing wrong with the clothes in question they just needed some TLc, she just shrugged her shoulders and looked at me like i had two heads ::) , same as sunday joint covered sun lunch, mon tea and has made sandwiches for 3 lunch boxes, not something she would even consider doing let alone thinking about.
mandy :pig:
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Stress in the work place is very high these days. You are at risk from losing your jobs all the time. so many people out of work but we now live in a country that makes almost nothing. when Maggie Thatcher convinced the man in the street that he could own his own house she was being pretty clever. What an easy way to control the working man. Go on strike, lose your job, lose your home. Where is the pride and respect for a job well done. The working person lives in fear of being out of work and is often doing extra hours without pay. I myself know quite a few people doing this. Are they treated better. No.
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OH just called an hour ago to say that he will have to take a 50% pay cut to keep his office going. We have no mortgage, live somewhere beautiful and have 2 brilliant kids - we ended up singing 'always look on the bright side of life'. His best friend lost his job last week (we're all architects) and he and his wife are so positive. We are all SO lucky.
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Goosepimple thats the way to be, you have all you need.......well all thats important.......although I do get a little peed off that my X is loaded and can visit Austrailia anytime, I am hopeing to save to get a 2 week stay sometime, we have a funny predicument, if steve is not at work our income is dependant on the B&B so if thats quiet too we are stuffed!! We hope to sing that tune when we are morgage free!!! :innocent:
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It's taken us a LONG time and a lot of moving around before we became mortgage free and it's so easy to get in debt again, we are determined not to do that, not even for £1,000 as it's a slippery slope. We haven't had a holiday abroad in 10 years, only a week here and there, nothing special, we were going to try to have one this coming year but looks like that's scuppered now, oh well, it's nice here at home anyway.
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I think the trouble today is people want everything now, no planning and saving like you used to have to do. Kids get far too much money spent on them. I was brought up on hang me downs clothes and never thought I was hard done by. Most mothers nowadays have to buy the best for their children which they out grow in no time at all. Too much food ends up in the bin. My mother taught me that a roast chicken could do 3 meals. Sunday roast then picked clean for a chicken and mushroom pie. Bones made soup. She passed down lots of ideas that i still used today. The young just cannot be bothered. Or do not have the knowledge. Time we made more of an effort in this country.
Couldn't agree more.
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Make do and mend.
We live in a throw away society as there is so much slave labour and things are bought so cheaply now.
Saying that though, the charity shops are always full of good stuff, almost as good as Marks&Spencer these days! Maybe that's why they're not surviving.
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All too true!
I feel positively wealthy now I have my own place (no mortgage :excited: ) despite earning much less than the minimum wage atm.
Over the years I've been surprised how often folks who have huge houses, big new cars, smart clothes etc, are quick to point out how poor they are and how they had to rough it when they moved in. - I have to resist the temptation to point out that mortgaging yourself to the teeth to get to the top rung of the property ladder isn't the same as actually being poor.
on a similar note I liked this article i read today:-
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-20243493 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-20243493)
"This austere lifestyle - and the fact that Mujica donates about 90% of his monthly salary, equivalent to $12,000 (£7,500), to charity - has led him to be labelled the poorest president in the world."
Can't see DC or any of our lot giving away 90% of their salary anytime soon :roflanim:
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I'm glad some of you are mortgage free.
But some of us have paid mortgages for over 20 years already and have nothing at all to show for it, for various circumstantial reasons. We're still fortunate in the terms of DITW original poster - but the worry about a roof over your head, particularly when you get older, is not a nice one. I could live on a pittance but for my mortgage.
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well said jaykay. reality check. who gives a damn if youve got a mortgage or not? youll only have to sell your house to pay for your old age care anyway. born with nothing die with nothing, having been in bedsitland with a 7 yr old daughter then a rotten cold caravan for 2 yrs, im soo grateful for the roof now, i dont care who owns it.
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My apologies if I have offended anyone, I didn't intend to be flippant.
I care if I am mortgage free, it's the only thing of any value to hand down to our children later in life. I hope their life is easier than our's has been, I don't hold great value in 'I've had it tough then so should you so get on with it'. We had a mortgage for over 20 years also and we are extremely grateful for having our roof over our head's too. We're not greedy people or desperate to crawl up the ladder, just want to have our own home and not have to owe anyone anything.
I can appreciate that other people work hard too and it just hasn't worked out that way but I am also aware that my OH may lose his job and then we have no money, but we have our roof thank goodness.
It's all a worry in these desperate times.
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I had a business from 16 with my mum and saved for a deposite on a house that cost all of £2,400, then married at 21, from then on we had a house, it was in the early 70's and even that price was a little high, luckily we were able to move to a larger house, then my parents died and I had a share of her house, so it was put towards a larger house, that house doubled by the time of my divorce but I did not come out of things too well but was able to buy a house outright, that was necessary as i was at uni, I had to come out after a year as I could not afford to run a house etc so went to work...etc etc, my issue was if I did not buy that house I would have used up all the money, at least it gave me something......when you have a property its hard to get rid of it and use the money in other ways.....anyway, I was always lucky to sell for more than I bought for, this time its different, we will loose money and I would be just as happy in a shed in the forest but I would like to use the money from my house sale as well as possible, and I think house prices will continue to fall :( IF, I was starting again I would rent, not all people need care as they age, I have a young husband, so that helps ;) I doubt so many people will be able to own thier homes in the future but times are sooo sooo different now than they were when I married, my mum and dad rented until very late in thier life, then they borrowed a deposite on a tiny new bungalow and struggled to pay it back but then we ( mum and I ) had a very sucsessful cafe that nearly saw in in hospital ill for 2 mths......anyway, hope to get a little log cabin in a forest sometime :bunny:
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After 2 trips to Tanzania, 1 to Kenya and 1 to Bolivia to help build schools and community buildings I am totally aware how fortunate I am. (look up Soapbox Trust)
In Kenya this year we gave a book to a school teacher to thank him for his hospitality.... he would have had to use a months salary to buy it himself! I've been blessed with meeting many Africans who thank God every day for what they have even when they have nothing, and who will offer hospitality to visitors that is totally humbling.
I also met my husband to be (in 5 weeks time!!) on the Tanzania trip so have further reason for feeling lucky. And the icing on that cake is the impending move to Wales to start our own smallholding....
As a child I always dreamt of visiting Africa and having my own farm but being from a less well off family I considered it just a dream............ life really has begun at 50!!