The bonnie Scotsman
There was a bonnie Scotsman, who went out one evening fair
And you could tell by how he walked, that he’d drunk more than his share.
He stumbled on until he could no longer keep his feet,
And tumbled off the grass to sleep beside the street
Just then two young and lovely girls just happened by,
And one said to the other, with a twinkle in her eye,
“See yonder sleeping Scotsman, so strong and handsome built,
I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath the kilt.”
They crept upon the sleeping Scotsman as quiet as can be,
And lifted up his kilt about and inch so they could see,
And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt,
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth.
They marvelled for a moment, then one said, “We must be gone;
Let’s leave a present for our friend before we move along.”
So as a gift they tied a blue silk ribbon in a bow,
Around the bonnie Scotsman’s star the kilt did lift and show.
The Scotsman wakes to Nature’s call and stumbles for the trees,
Behind a bush, he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees,
And in a startled voice he cries at what’s before his eyes,
“Och, lad, I don’t know where you’ve been, but I think you’ve won first prize!”