The Accidental Smallholder Forum
Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: Cobra on October 22, 2011, 01:13:48 am
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Hi all I have made a huge decision, not my best day but it has to be done.
As some of you know as well as an incurable illness i also have Spinal Stenosis we know that one day ill be paralysed, for now its all about being careful, looking out for signs of things getting worse but its also making the most of the time I have, whilst I can.
Sadly two weeks ago things took a bit of a turn; I collapsed eight times in the last week and so I have made the decision to clear out the stock over winter and see what the spring brings, we will still have the ducks and chickens at home but I cant risk not being able to care for the animals out on the smallholding. I am obviously gutted, but common sense must rule; do I regret it? Hell no! I would do it all over again, here's hoping I can get more mobile by the spring and have another go, ever the optimist.
I will continue to write up the Passionate Smallholder section on my website "Bikers Lot (http://bikerslot.co.uk/)" completing the past years diary seems a fitting tribute to an awesome experience; who knows, hopefully more to add in the spring.
Tomorrow all our pigs will be auctioned at market, leaving the lambs for the freezer. Its going to be a real hard day emotionally and physically but we will get there. as I mentioned it isn't the end but it has to be the right choice putting the care of my animals first as Ive always done. Tomorrow is going to really knock me for six so may be absent for a few days till I get my energy back, wish me luck and see you on the other side. xx
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We'll be thinking of you, Cobra. :bouquet:
And well done for putting the livestock's welfare selflessly first. Very hard to do in your circumstances and I applaud you for it. :thumbsup:
{{{hugs}}}
Sally xx
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I do hope all goes well Cobra.
I'll be thinking of you.
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Cobra,
What a difficult decision for you but you have come to the most sensible one for both you and the animals.
We will all be optimistic with you. Lets hope the spring sees you bounce back again but in the meanwhile we will all be thinking of you.
Sally :bouquet:
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I wish you well and hope this is a temporary setback, I applaud your decission about the animals and hope you get a good price for them. But I think this is just an excuse to sit inside by the fire all winter while the rest of us struggle through the snow and mud and freeze our tabs off.
Good luck old son
Best wishes.
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Best of luck and I hope you manage to get your strength up in the spring to get things going again - but I do think you've made a smart decision - winter and livestock is tough, best of luck
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All the best Cobra, a tough decision but the right one I expect. Hopefully this doesn't mean you're abandoning us here? :o ;)
Here's to a re-stocking in the spring. :thumbsup:
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Tough - but sensible decision. We'll look forward to spring and your renaissance :thumbsup:
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Awwww....ditto to everything said above. Roll on Spring 'eh? Good luck at the auction. Sending {{{hugs}}}
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:-* :bouquet:
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Really sorry to hear this but I'm impressed by the courage and determination to put your animals first :-* I hope things start looking up soon :)
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Tough - but sensible decision. We'll look forward to spring and your renaissance :thumbsup:
This in bucketloads. Have a cosy winter and emerge from the chrysalis in springtime. With best wishes.
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:bouquet: :wave: thinking of you with best wishes ! :&>
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I am sure you have made a good decision. Thinking of you and wishing you every good wish for the future.
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I hope I would be as brave in your shoes :bouquet: God bless.
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A brave and selfless decision well done, hopefully the spring will see you bounce back. :bouquet:
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Good luck with it all - I am a passionate biker as well as smallholder too - must be something to do with being out in all weathers ;D
Take care
Tish :bouquet: :farmer: :thumbsup:
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tough decision, well taken.
best wishes to you Cobra :bouquet: :)
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Thinking of you now, and will be tomorrow too. Bon courage.
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Good luck, :bouquet: see you in the spring
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Just a change of direction and you have taken the opportunity and now can do something else, cease the day as its still you passion so your knowledge and skills are still there just harder to utilise them!!!! A lot of people would not have done half you have and just sat back and got worse sooner, you have lived to your full potential or at least you seemed to have, selling your stock now you can have a chilled out care free winter then, when the weather improves see how things are....nature throws things at us all the time, we don't just stop but we find a different path to travel...enjoy the path you choose!!! :)
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Very sad for you but the right thing to do. I am a great believer that when one door shuts another opens so look forward to next Spring and I hope the future looks brighter. :bouquet:
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Very sad for you but the right thing to do. I am a great believer that when one door shuts another opens so look forward to next Spring and I hope the future looks brighter. :bouquet:
thats just our way of thinking too.
good luck for the future :bouquet:
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Have a cosy winter and emerge from the chrysalis in springtime. With best wishes.
What a beautiful sentiment. Good luck with everything. Cx
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Best of luck at the auction and I hope a winter off allows you the space to bounce back in spring and pick up again.
Also hope you continue to share your knowledge on here meantime :bouquet:
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Thank you to everyone for your kind and comments of reassurance. To reassure a few here, I will still be about on TAS; we will be keeping our chooks and ducks at home and I still have access to the grounds on he moors, my Friend that I rent from made i very clear yesterday that it will always be there for me and when ever I want to carry on I can do so when ever I want.
He helped me yesterday with the animals and market. Prices were quite bad, they have been low for a few weeks apparently our 8 week old weaners only fetched £9 each, but they cost us nothing and they will now be cared for properly. We still have two sows lol I ran out of energy :D
The last two will go to market on the 5th of Nov at the next pig market, in the mean time I will feed them but have back up if I have a bed day. Seems very empty out there right now, but I have to say the relief of the workload is a blessing and it was the right choice at this time
Thank you once more to everyone, you all continue to show support and a great support. Bravo :trophy: :thumbsup:
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Cobra,
Stenosis of the spine can be operated on my bro has had three vertibrae sorted out he had his done when he was 36 he's now 71 and started to walk without crutches at the age of 58.
Incureable diseases ...... it's how you handle them and the mental attitude you develop that helps you .
Strangely such attitudes can help ..I know of a young lad who was encouraged to play space invaders in his head to shoot down cancerous cells in his head when he was only 18 and considered incureable and having a very short life span .. he now flys a fire watchers propellor driven aircraft and is close on 30 yrs old.
MRI scans show no more brain cancer.
Never ever give up , modify like your doing , but never ever give up .
I've got adhesive arachnoiditis had it for 16 years ....that mind set I talk of helps ..honest..
Stay lucky
David
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Thanks for the positive reply, believe me I haven't given up.
As for inoperable I already know its not possible, the Op would be very risky and only give me two years mobility then certain paralysis; that was the choice I had five years ago and when me and the surgeon decided not to go ahead, I have three years to my credit. This spinal condition was given to me by a doctor with an ego larger than his ability, even though I had expressly refused a spinal injection (to test the brain fluids for toxin) because of past injury, he waited until I was unconscious with meningitis and tried, not once but 5 times: He failed bending 5 separate needle's beyond recognition and left me with a spinal disease and spinal stenosis.
On top of that I contracted Mito, the meningitis sparked it off, theres no cure and only a hand full of people have heard of it or now how to deal with anyone with it. So the fact that I rode my bike up until a couple of moths ago and managed the animal's until now shows I'm not giving up.
Attitude and will of mind is an amazing power we all have inside us: I am glad for everyday, when Im in the wheelchair it isn't the end of your life, just the beginning of a new way to live it.
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Have you been able to get onto a three week or so residential course at a hospital that deals with adjusting to a life of long term disability where you get a more than a few ideas of coping with things and also keeping or regaining a little bit of mobility that you may have hidden away inside you ?
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Cobra
Just wanted to add my good wishes to all the rest, having on going back trouble myself which shows no sign of getting any better i think you've been very brave in you descsion to cut back on your livestock, something i think i'm going to have to consider doing myself in future.
Sending you a big piggy hug Mandy :pig:
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Hi Mandy, Thank you, as for your self you will know when the time comes I'm sure of it, in the mean time concentrate on the time you have when your able, I simply adjusted things to suit my capabilities, did things in a way I could manage, probably pushed things a little more than I should but if you don't do that you wont know your true ability. Hope that makes sense :-[
Plantoid, Ive lived with this for over six years now and I have learnt for my self with personal experience, I haven't even been given an Occupational Therapest, what ever they do? I went to pain management two years ago during a real bad spell for help nothing I had would relieve the pain and I had gotten quite low, I mentioned I had, had enough if you get my drift and he just laughed! I left the room and never went back, either that or hit him there and then, that was a really low point for me and once again I got my self out of it and back on track. I'm afraid my confidence and belief in the medical world has somewhat wained. Believe me I'm fine in my self and already making plans to fit with my current level of ability, I'm going to crawl under me landy soon and get to work here even ten minutes a day will make progress, you just have to be satisfied with small bites of the cake and to honest a little nibble tastes as good as a mouthful ;D ;D
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Cobra,
It sounds to me as if you have mostly got it sorted. Being strong willed certainly helps.
In 1985 I was involved in a very bad car accident and I am sure that staying positive got me through it. I was in a wheelchair for a few months but never considered that I would not be able to go back to a 'normal' life.
I went to an occupational therapist but they were pretty useless really and not geared up for someone with the injuries that I had. It was a group class and everyone else in the class were young men who had injured themselves playing sports. Not in the same league really.
I went back to work after 22 months and having a positive mental attitude meant I continued on more or less as if nothing had happened. As I am getting older I feel the aches and pains more and the joints stiffen up but luckily there really isn't anything I can't do.
Enjoy yourself under the landy and hopefully the warmer spring weather will bring about a new lease of life.
best wishes
Sally
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Your optimism and attitude shows what a determined person you are, but sensible too in making your difficult decision. All the best Cobra, looking forward to more of your posts, don't go away anywhere!
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Hi Cobra
-- just wishing you well and admire how you are handling the situation -good luck to you ......Tilly :wave:
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can I just add in defence of occupational therapy ... there are some fantastic OTs out there - it just takes a bit of looking sometimes :)
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Little Blue I'm sure there are :). I have no opinion of OT's I simply have never been referred to one or offered one in 6 years, despite two separate consultants asking me what my OT thought, when I replied I don't have one, they simply carry on with another subject? There a bit like mirage in the desert, apparently their there but Ive yet to see one up close :D :D
Thanks again, I'm not a super hero, you know, I'm just doing what I have to do to manage and its a real truth, that there is always someone else worse off, trouble is that comment never helped those who are..
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What a super, brave lot of positive thinking folk on this forum, good luck to you all.
From another biking/smallholding household.
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Hi all,
Sorry havent been about on here :-\ Been through the mill a little, most of it was antisipated and prepared for best you can.
Whilst I have the opportunity, I wanted to wish you all a wonderful Christmas and a productive New Year. I’m off to the surgeon on the 14th Dec. Dreading it :'( If they decide to operate its 50-50 that Ill end up Paralyzed. Trouble is if its left then that conclusion isn’t far off apparently, mind you according to them I should of had wheels 4 years ago, so never give up and always look forward; Ill be chasing sheep next year what ever happens lol. If the worst comes to pass, it’s not over, just the beginning and a new way to do things and few more challenges.
Thanks for being there the past year or so and for all the support and encouragment thats kept me and mine gong.
MERRY CHRISTMAS to my dear freinds xx
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hope it goes the right way for you xx
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Will put you on our prayer list xxx
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Good luck, Cobra. Hope you get a positive outcome from the surgery. :bouquet:
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Cobra, best wishes for the 14th.
I am a great believer in the power of positive thinking (it helped me through a very bad car accident), so keep your chin up as much as possible.
In addition there will be lots of people on here wishing you well through it all.
Sally
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All my very best wishes for the surgery, Cobra. You'll be back here inspiring us with your courage and positivity soon. :bouquet: :bouquet:
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Sending you best wishes Cobra, hope all goes well on the 14th. On the bright side you'll have a great excuse for putting your feet up over Christmas. ;D
See my surgeon in the new year but hopefully it will just be a litle job to straighten me out. My new phsyio is helping tremendously and of course still taking the tablets!
Anyway best of Mandy :pig: xx
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Good luck friend, will be thinking of you. :bouquet:
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Good luck will be thinking of you xx :bouquet:
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Ooooodles of luck Cobra. Keep that strong mind - its a powerful tool. :bouquet:
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Wishing you the very best outcome possible Cobra - will be thinking of you
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good luck go with you m8
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Wishing you all the luck in the world, you certainly deserve it you sound as though you have an amazing strength of character and I am sure this will go a long way to helping you through this. My thoughts will be with you in the coming days/weeks. Four years ago spent 9 months on deaths door in hospital but never gave up, courage, will power and support from family and friends go and long long way and you obviously have all of these. :thumbsup:
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:love: and best wishes to you Cobra mate.thinking of you and merry Christmas too :)
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:wave: All the very best, I hope it goes well for you Cobra. You have the greatest attitude :-* Happy Christmas :thumbsup:
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Best of luck, you're an inspiration. :hshoe:
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Really hope all goes well with the surgery ......sending lots of good wishes for your recovery.
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best of luck, strength and hugs for the weeks ahead :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :thumbsup:
Mx
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Good luck on the 14th keep thinking of those sheep and a Merry Christmas to you :bouquet:
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Hi Cobra
........ just to add my good :hshoe: wishes for you :wave:
please keep us updated with your progress......
Tilly
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Wishing you well and looking forward to having you back fit and healthy Cobra :bouquet:
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Sending you best wishes Cobra :bouquet:
Karen :wave: