The Accidental Smallholder Forum
Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: OhLaLa on September 09, 2011, 03:31:13 pm
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This just about explains it all:
http://www.accidentalsmallholder.net/forum/index.php?topic=1423.msg170899#msg170899 (http://www.accidentalsmallholder.net/forum/index.php?topic=1423.msg170899#msg170899)
:wave:
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I think from time to time tempers get raised, things get taken the wrong way and it's really easy for a simple remark to get taken out of context or a massive argement to erupt - trust me, I've had a few virtual bust-up's ::) Ain't that right Dan ? ;)
BUT on the net it's hard to get humour, sarcasm and emotions across. I would imagine know that at times I come across as completely confrontational and arguementitive, but in 'real life' I'm really not.
So sad that you feel you have to go, maybe in a couple of days when the dust has settled you'll feel different and come back ? But if not, I hope life's good to you !
Take care
Karen x :wave:
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Did you see Sally's post about the sign on her door "I have PMT and a handgun - now what was your question?". I have those days occasionally ;D fortunately, I don't have a handgun ;)
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thats a shame...
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thats a shame...
What is? That Rosemary doesn't have a handgun? ;D ;D ;D Believe me it is just as well she hasn't or we'd be a right pair - Annie get your gun and Sweet Rose Maree ;D ;D ;D ;D
I haven't been following all this but all I can say is that Dan and Rosemary are really lovely people and wouldn't intentionally offend, hurt, antagonise or insult ANYONE!!! >:( I think some people are over sensitive!
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Doganjo, I was just laughing at that from Little Blue.
I agree with Little Blue, it is a shame when members feel they should leave the forum.
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Well I have felt a little aggrieved once or twice here, but those very occasional unpleasantnesses are completely overwhelmed by the warmth, humour, community and vibrance of the site.
Yup, Rosemary can be a little brusque at times. Usually I shout with laughter and say, "Go get 'em, girl!" Now and again I wince a bit. And yes, there are a few others who can be less than tactful, sometimes intentionally (I suspect robert is rarely misinterpreted! but boy, do we know how he feels! and we can trust him to give us a truthful, plain speaking answer) and more often probably completely unaware of any negative impact. (If I've been one of the latter any time, I really am sorry. But being human, and trying to be honest to myself and with others, it could happen, I know that.)
I think Rosemary and Dan are amazing. :bouquet: :bouquet: To spend the effort and resources they do making this site be here - and encouraging us to participate and debate its future, treating our input with respect and professionalism - well, I worked in and with IT for nearly 25 years, and I've had suppliers I was paying handsomely treat me with less respect and professionalism than Dan does.
So I think it's not surprising that occasionally one or both of them may react a little strongly to a perceived criticism of their intentions.
I would not wish any member, particularly one who contributes as much as OhLaLa, to leave at all, let alone feeling unappreciated. So I do hope you return, OhLaLa. I know I am not the only one who has been grateful for the time you have taken to address my queries and the quality of the information and experience you have shared. :bouquet:
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Well said Sally :thumbsup:
It is hard to get across nuances without all the intonation, body language etc you'd get in a proper conversation and therefore possible to misunderstand intentions, especially sarcasm, humour etc.
It would be sad to lose you OhLaLa :bouquet:
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As part of the Organisational Development module of my masters we had to do a piece of collaborative work as a group entirely by email. It was interesting to monitor how much conflict arose through the assignment.
There is alot of research about the degradation of communication through email and electronic writing and how much communication is passed through voice tone, intonation etc, body language, facial expression, non-verbal cues etc etc.
Some people say that this accounts for 70 - 80% of the way we communicate - all of which is lost in emails. I wonder if the same problems arose when letter writing was the norm 50 years ago.
My attitude is that most people on here are trying to be: helpful, informative, funny, supportive etc etc and I read posts with that in mind. :thumbsup:
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the vast majority of posters are faceless therefore that personal friendship is alien to our posts once we have met that all changes
personally why write 50 words when 2can sum up the situation i have met rosemary on many occasions both with cssa and the show circut in Scotland and have found nothing wrong with her ( Dan well we have still to meet ) and rosemary has seen me in full flight and pasionate about showing pigs
it is there site and what started as a wee bantie egg has grown arms and legs and developed into what it is today and no doubt get bigger still well it is Scottish of origin :farmer:
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You opinion is as valid as any one elses, I have also taken offence at a few posts and remarks, the trouble with the written word, it stays long after the moment has passed....Hope you chose to stay...I have nearly left loads of times but am a board housewife ;) so need my TAS friends!!!
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Taking offence is a personal trait of mine so I understand perfectly what Ohlala is feeling but if I am brutally honest it is her problem as it has been mine in the past. :-[ It is an embarrassment to me that I have this fault in my character, but I am learning to get over it. It is not Rosemary and Dan's problem. Ohlala is the one that has to come to terms with it - as I have had to.
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Err hmmm. Actually I think OhLaLa was not the only one taking offence where none (or not much) was really meant.
I say that only in the interests of balance and fairness, I really hope I don't open the wound and start a fresh outpouring...
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Yes, if you look back the whole thing was unneccessarily unpleasant from all sides. I think all three were having a bad hair day but it's a great shame OhLaLa has decided to go, with such a bitter taste in her mouth.
BUT Dan works very hard to keep this forum going smoothly and I can see how criticism would get his and Rosemary's backs up.
You can never please all of the people all of the time.
RIP 8)
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Ok, I've just spent half an hour reading all of that and it seems to me that Ohlala really does seem to have a bee in her bonnet about the forum and it making money (or not - as I believe to be more accurate!) I have looked back and seen at least 4 actual criticisms of either the forum or of Rosemary herself. I'm sorry, but again I will be blunt - her attitude is not one I would want to live with, and if she wants to leave I'm happy to let her go. No moer comments from me on this subject.
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A learnt a good saying in rehab which was: "If you are pointing the finger at somebody - don't forget that there are three fingers pointing back at you"
This serves to remind me that when I'm flinging accusations around and blaming other people, the first thing I need to do is look at myself and try and understand why something has got me so riled and defensive.
Guaranteed I'll find something within myself that aint so pretty and needs work.
I can then start to feel grateful to the person that Pi$$ed me off for flagging up this chink in my character and get to work on it......
The great advantage of this "system" of dealing with resentments is that I can always change myself. I can rarely change other people, places and things.
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Good on yer SuzieQ. :applause:
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I've logged in to delete my messages and am very touched to see that some of you guys have mailed me directly. Thanks so much to you all for your support, understanding and kindness. Appreciated.
I might just carry on dropping in then.....
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Not surprised by your (wrong again) opinion at all doganjo. As said, I couldn't care less. I'm taking a chill pill today; suffice to say regardless of any opinion I may have of you, I have taken the time to try and help you on more than one occasion.
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The way I see it, at the end of the day there are more important things going on in the world - and in our lives - my cementing of the barn being one of them, so I'm off to carry on with it.
:farmer:
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Glad it's not cheerio then, more like au revoir :)
Good luck with the cementing - hope it's indoors or you'll be cementing the neighbourhood ;D
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What a lot of fuss about nothing!
Forums have a habit of bringing out the very worst retributive (have I just made that word up?) posts which people misinterpret. When I feel like that, I NEVER reply, but wait overnight and then I see it for what it is most often. I am sure that Ooh la la will see it like this in a while, and perhaps people can preview their posts and imagine how it reads before posting? Anyway - love to all. This is a great place.
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As Thumper's dad said "if you cain't say nothin' nice, don't say nothin' at all"
Not saying I always practice what I preach though ;D