The Accidental Smallholder Forum
Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: feldar on August 06, 2011, 11:57:56 am
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The joys of living in the country! :D Cesspit got blocked up all the way back to the house :-[ What a stinker, took hubby and drain man 3 hours to clear it, fighting their way through the jungle i call my garden ::) i think chickens enjoyed the jungle clearance though, lots of bugs to eat :chook: we nearly had to resort to a bucket and spade though, horrified my townie brother who lives in London, he can't believe our poo stops at the end of our garden!!
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glad you got it cleared
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Common for people on here to have to deal with poo in all forms!!!! I bet you still can smell it, when our sew blocked I could smell "that" smell for days ::)
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Some of my townie friends thought that my birthday present last year wasn't a good present.
I like useful presents....
My very own drain rods :) :) :)
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Common for people on here to have to deal with poo in all forms!!!! I bet you still can smell it, when our sew blocked I could smell "that" smell for days ::)
Yep that's a smell that sticks with you for days. I don't mind animal poo, human is yuk.
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Why is human poo so bad? When we go for a walk with our dogs we sometimes go to a place that fishermen use and our Male dog often goes off and comes back with THAT horrid smell!!!!
When you get to 50 you do the poo test and I put it off for ages as I did not want to walk out the toilet with my potty while doing breakfasts..I run a B&B. All done now and fine as we have room only guests!!
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Please tell me what is the "poo test"???
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Trust me, you really don't want to know until you have to know. Wisdom comes with age, apparently, but is accompanied by a range of increasingly undignified tests and "procedures" as bits of you start to work rather less well than they used to. Those who believe in intelligent design must also believe in a creator with an odd sense of humour.
Thus as you age that pain in the arse you always suffered from becomes less your spouse and more your rectum.
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Oh Sandy, you've just reminded me of once when I was in the Doctor's waiting room. An elderly gent toddled in towing a tartan shopping trolley (where can you actually buy one of those? are they government issue at the age of 75, along with the corduroy trousers at the age of 60? ;)). He proceeded to rummage around in the bottom of it, before producing a large ice-cream tub, and slapping it on the counter. "That's my stool sample for Dr Jones" he said proudly. "Did he not give you a little pot to put it in?" asked the somewhat shocked receptionist. "Ach, how was I supposed to sh1t in that wee thing?" he retorted ;D.
The best bit is when I told a medic friend of mine about this. "Oh, that's nothing" she said. "I had one a month ago in a wide-necked thermos flask, to keep it warm!". :o
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;D ;D
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:D :DI know the feeling have you ever tried to pee in those little pots they give you and not get it all over your hand!!! it's ok for you boys at least you can aim your direction!!
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i take it nobody has heard of decanting into the small sample pots :farmer: dan you have to get an icon that laughs while lying on its back :farmer: o cant do moving icons they were barred :farmer:
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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You can always do your sample into an icing bag and , with the right nossle, pipe it into pretty shapes !
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Only just stopped to read the posts and I have been having a laugh!!
Honestly, you first have to think what you have eaten so its at least a decent consistantcy......I slipped up one of the days and nearly threw up collecting MY sample balanced over a sandwhich box that nearly overflowed!!! Glad we did not have breakfasts to make that day!!!
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We have a 4000 gallon septic tank and it does not smell and I do have some sense of smell :) The reason it's OK is that air is forced in to it via a small 70W compressor 24/7, and this adds oxygen to the tank and so the bacteria are aerobic rather than anaerobic. The compressor lives in the garage and the air is transfered to the tank through 20mm plastic water pipe.
The other item we use is made by a company in Hampshire, called Flexford Brook Ltd and they make a product called Liquid Bio-Flo, found it works very well.
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I haven't plucked up courage to do my poo test yet, really not looking forward to it (http://www.cosgan.de/images/smilie/ekelig/a020.gif)
Robert here's a laughing smilie (http://www.cosgan.de/images/smilie/froehlich/a065.gif)
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I'm booked in for urodynamic testing next week. It doesn't sound like I'm going to enjoy it.
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I haven't plucked up courage to do my poo test yet, really not looking forward to it (http://www.cosgan.de/images/smilie/ekelig/a020.gif)
Robert here's a laughing smilie (http://www.cosgan.de/images/smilie/froehlich/a065.gif)
They are very hot on poo testing over here in France. As soon as you hit 50, you get bombarded with letters telling you to get "the pack" from your GP, then you get reminders. I never did mine as I'd only recently had a colonoscopy, so didnt think it was necessary...but that's another story.
Why oh why are we so hung up about our bottoms and their functions? To be honest, Im much more embarassed about having a mammogram, as Im ashamed of and truly detest that region of my anatomy!!
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I remember my mum going on about her "Farmer Giles" and the examination and op etc!!!! I don't have problems with them thankfuly but I suppose its an area associated with nasty stuff and not the nicest looking bit close up!!!!
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I remember as a lad going in holiday with a mate and finding ourselves having lunch next to two old sears who spent the whole time comparing operations, procedures and symptoms. We weren't impressed.
Forty years on and I understand....
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I don't mean to poo poo your test Waterhouse, but when you said you were going in for urodynamic testing and your name is waterhouse i just fell to bits ;D so sorry i can't stop laughing at these posts i least we can all laugh at our bottom problems :o
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;D ;D
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Actually the whole family think it's funny, trying not to be seen sniggering while speculating what the test entails. Or should that be entrails.
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Well it wasn't much fun - hard to be more undignified and less pleasant while staying within the geneva convention. However we are somewhat amused by our neighbour's builders.
They're a having an extension built with a new super bathroom. Building control have required them to link to the main drain via a different route to previously. So they followed the line of the drain from the manhole cover further up their garden coming out of our property and dug deep down to the sewer. About twenty feet deep. Big hole. Trouble is it ain't the sewer, it's a Victorian drain leading to one of the 5 or 6 cess pits we've found so far in our fields each of which is about 80ft deep. Their sewer is a pipe only 6" underground put in by a cowboy builder 20 years ago which we always have to remember not to plough up.
Apparently sewers need a 1 in 4 fall. Theirs is probably 1 in 20 so I suspect a lot more digging may be necessary.
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1 in 40 is the fall for s**t pipe.
More gradient does not mean its better as the piss and water flows over the turds and paper and wont wash them down the pipe - 1-40 gives the old souls a good glide down the water chute :)
Baz
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What a romantic way with words!!
bazzais
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I don't mean to poo poo your test Waterhouse, but when you said you were going in for urodynamic testing and your name is waterhouse i just fell to bits ;D so sorry i can't stop laughing at these posts i least we can all laugh at our bottom problems :o
PML
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PML?
The problem with their sewer is it's shallowness. It crosses 80m of our fields and freezes inside in winter
The 1 in 4 requirement was the fall from the house to the start of the existing sewer.
My sense of humour returns: I was asked to arrive for my appointment with my bladder "comfortably full". That's a challenge in itself but the consultant was running 30mins late, so comfortable didn't describe it.
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PML?
P155 Myself Laughing
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PML?
The problem with their sewer is it's shallowness. It crosses 80m of our fields and freezes inside in winter
The 1 in 4 requirement was the fall from the house to the start of the existing sewer.
My sense of humour returns: I was asked to arrive for my appointment with my bladder "comfortably full". That's a challenge in itself but the consultant was running 30mins late, so comfortable didn't describe it.
Know what you mean when i went for a scan once, i had to have a full bladder and they made you drink water until it was ful,l then made me wait in the waiting room with about 40 women in front of me all of us with watering eyes and crossed legs!!! :-[
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;D ;D I visited my daughter when she lived over a pub, she bought me 2 large glasses of Coke as I was driving back the 21 miles later, I left and started feeling I needed a wee so I remembered that as I turned onto a country lane nearish where I lived, there was a big quiet lay buy, so, I turned the courner and at 10.30pm there was a car on fire and a fire engine in the lay bye, so I rushed the few miles home being careful of the speed limit, ran up to the door and could not find my key so HAD to wee down my own drain before I spoil my sued shoes!!!!!!! Similar thing happened when I was going on training just off the M1, it was early and I needed to toilet but the que was bad, in my dazed state I just followed as my turn off was close by, but I missed it so had to keep going to the next junction, there I saw a McDOnalds, I nearly pushed some small child over to get into the cubical...all was well but these things do happen!!! AND, I can hold my water (not when its diluted with Wiskey though ;) )