The Accidental Smallholder Forum

Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: Fluffywelshsheep on February 13, 2009, 08:05:10 pm

Title: Joke ~Duties of Wives
Post by: Fluffywelshsheep on February 13, 2009, 08:05:10 pm
Duties of Wives!

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had
Given their new wives duties.

Terry had married a woman from America , and bragged that he
had told his wife she needed to do all the dishes and housework.
He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came
home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

Jimmie had married a woman from Canada . He bragged that he had
given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and
the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but
The next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the
dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a SCOTTISH girl. He boasted that he told her
that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed,
laundry and ironing twice a week, lawns mowed, windows cleaned
and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he
didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the
third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little
out of his left eye, just enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the
dishwasher, and call a handyman.


God Bless SCOTTISH Women

i think i also appies to Welsh Women!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Joke ~Duties of Wives
Post by: juliag on February 13, 2009, 08:37:36 pm
 :D :D :D
Title: Re: Joke ~Duties of Wives
Post by: HappyHippy on February 14, 2009, 10:18:09 am
 ;D ;D ;D

We all know the definition of YUPPIE, NIMBY & DINKY - here's a new one........... WIFE - Wash, Iron, F***, Etc !

But please don't get a joke thread going - all the one's I know are TOO rude to print
or non PC, or terribly offensive ! (Problem is they're also REALLY funny and I don't want to be tempted to share - okay maybe just one more!)

Financial experts are warning that due to the credit crunch, the sexual position formarly known as the 69 has been renamed the 96 - this is due to the rising cost of eating out. (See, I told you they were bad! lol!)
Title: Re: Joke ~Duties of Wives
Post by: Fluffywelshsheep on February 14, 2009, 03:04:58 pm
 ??? ???
i would have no idea what you are talking about

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Joke ~Duties of Wives
Post by: juliag on February 14, 2009, 03:45:28 pm
No I am confused too.  ??? ??? ??? ??? :o :o :o ;D
Title: Re: Joke ~Duties of Wives
Post by: Hilarysmum on February 15, 2009, 11:27:32 am
NO NURSE

I said prick his boil !!!!
Title: Re: Joke ~Duties of Wives
Post by: HappyHippy on February 15, 2009, 01:32:02 pm
He He He, like that one !  ;D
Title: Re: Joke ~Duties of Wives
Post by: Fluffywelshsheep on February 15, 2009, 04:56:34 pm
Oh dear i think we have reached our level lol
 ;D :D :D :farmer: :farmer:
Title: Re: Joke ~Duties of Wives
Post by: Hilarysmum on February 17, 2009, 08:23:35 am
That is the dirtiest joke I know!!!
Title: Re: Joke ~Duties of Wives
Post by: greenfingers on February 23, 2009, 07:03:55 pm
Try this out, Hubby's cousin in Australia sent this over last week,
Love all the other jokes.



Two English businessmen in London were sitting down for a break, in their soon-to-be, new store.

As yet the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.
 
One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some thick tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window and ask what we're selling.'

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Australian walked to the window, had a peek and in a broad Australian accent asked: 'What are you selling here?'

One of the men replied sarcastically, 'We're selling arse-holes'.

Without skipping a beat, the Australian said, 'You're doin well.......only two left!'

Englishmen - God bless them - they should not mess with Australians...