The Accidental Smallholder Forum
Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: faith0504 on May 29, 2011, 03:47:30 pm
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Hiya everyone
Im so sorry i have not posted for such along time, think about you guys everyday but havnt been able to pluck the courage up and fill you all in on the continueing battle, as i have said before it hurts writing this down, but here goes
OH finished his treatment at the end of April, but was kept in hospital for a week longer due to complications with the side effects, the main one was his white blood cell count going very very low, so he was in isolation that was all sorted out and home he came, very tired and very sore, we have a continious trail of doctor,district nurses, macmillan nurse, and speech and swallowing nurses coming in to check OH out doing bloods and such like checking meds and stuff, he was sleeping alot and no energy at all, he found it hard work just doing a 15 min stroll with the dogs, which is heartbreaking when he used to be so fit, walking, cycling, ect ect,
He is still on nil by mouth, he has choking sessions when trying to swallow, sips of tea, probiotic yoghurt drinks are about the easiest he has found, a little bottle of that takes about half an hour to drink.
The second week of him being home his bloods were taken and the results came back his white blood cell count had dropped again so off back to hospital he went, for a check and he was admitted, chest infection, and throat infection, intavarenous meds and antibiotics, he was in for a week and he came home last wednesday.
He is doing ok at the min, still nil by mouth which he find very frustrating and annoying being hooked up to a food pump twice a day, he is still in pain and still on morphene painkillers, along with an array of other painkillers, antibiotics, mouthwashes,
Swallowing, coughing and talking all hurt to a degree, but his energy level is up a wee bit he can now manage a half hour walk with me and the dogs, which is nice.
We are continuing to fight this as hard as we can, it is hard, it does hurt, it does make you angry, it makes you want to cry, and shout, but were handling it and enjoying spending time together.
Im physically, mentally and emotionally exhursted, but dont feel i can moan about any of it as it is not me with the big C, im the lucky one.
The animals and small holding are keeping me busy i dont know where the days go, plus it takes me twice as long to do jobs with my back, but were getting there the veg plot is planted and being battered by the winds!!!!!!!!!!
Both gardens now have ducks in them, which are lovely. the dogs, cats and horses are all great and give me the strength to keep going, and keep me sane, well sane-ish!!!!!!!!
The OH is back at the hosp on the 15th june for his review, so the consultant can check how things are going but i dont think they can scan him until july to find out exactually what is happening with the tumor, if it has been successful or not, such a long wait but the radiotherapy is still in his system, and that would effect the scan results, so wait we must.
I have got my referral date to see the consultant to discuss back surgery, that is on the 23rd june, so that should be interesting. But the OH is more important at the moment.
I hope you lot are all ok, i will try to read through everything at some point and see what you have all been up to, but just at the moment what with OH, dogs, horses, cats, hens, ducks, house, holiday cottage, and land i dont seem to have much time.
Take care all of you, been missing you all loads
i hope this post makes sense
Faith and OH
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I know it has been a rollercoaster but I think both of you are great and have handled this awful thing brilliantly.
If you want to shout,scream,cry laugh do it but may I advise not all at the same time as that is just confusing.
Good luck and try to keep smiling
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Hi Faith and OH. I have been wondering and wondering how you were but didn't like to intrude with emails. The treatment phase is just so horrible and really all you can do is get through it somehow but the strain is awful on you both. We are right behind you and thinking of you both and wishing MacRoxy a speedy and full recovery. Best of luck with the review and fingers crossed for the scan. :bouquet: :bouquet:
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You two have never been far from my thoughts, especially this last week when we were told that after a 6 year battle against various cancers my cousin, Elspeth, now has another brain tumour - this time inoperable, and the only treatment is massive doses of steroids.
You are both teribly brave, and even more brave to put your thoughts on here. Much love to both of you :bouquet: :love:
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I was thinking of you only yesterday, and nearly posted wondering if anyone had news.
Good luck to you both.
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Thanks for sharing Faith and OH - not easy but hopefully its helped to 'talk about it' here on TAS. Hang in there guys - thoughts with you both and sending {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} in huge quantities.
Mxx
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Thanks for sharing these times with us all, it is good to off load, we all need that from time to time.
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Been thinking of you both (mum's on her 2nd course of chemo).......... certainly notice how emotions can change form moment to moment........ :bouquet: :bouquet:
take care
Mx
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:wave: thanks for posting, been thinking of you both.
love and best wishes
little blue
x
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you are both very brave, good luck and hope he beats it.
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I have been thinking of you both, and hoping things were going ok.
I can only imagine how hard it is for you to watch your husband battling this awful disease. I really hope he starts to feel better, and able to talk and swallow etc. It must be so uncomfortable for him.
Do take care of yourself as well
Sendng lots of good vibes to you both.
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Good to hear from you and glad that both of you are hanging in there. Fingers crossed for good news on the 15th and the 23rd of June. Thinking of you both :bouquet:
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I know, from a similar experience, how the animals seem to help you through things like this. You're doing so well, stay strong.
Very best wishes from myself and the (fully recovered) OH.
Dave
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All the very best to you both
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In order to give support you need to keep yourself healthy and strong. Be kind to yourself. Our thoughts are with you always.
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Good to hear from you even if things are still so hard, I was wondering too but didn't like to ask until you were ready to tell so thanks for keeping in touch when you can and know there are lots of vibes and thoughts and good wishes supporting you out here even when you feel alone with your animals and your problems.
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Hello Faith and OH - thank you for updating us, have been thinking of you but as the others have already said it seems wrong to message you to ask how you are (both).
you are both lovely people and between you will get through this. The animals will help you, I've lost track of the tears my girl goat Savannah has soaked up from me, they just have a way about them don't they?
please take care and you know where I am if ever you want to have a cry/scream/laugh/chat - whatever...
Lisa xxx
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We're with you, sweetheart all the way.
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Hi Everyone, thanks again for all your messages you are all incredible people :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :bouquet: :wave:
Manian the hardest thing i found coping with the treatment was watching my OH, go down hill and get so poorly, our heads are trained to think treatment makes you well but the treatment you get to fight the big C completely floors you, they nearly have to kill you to kill the cancer, its a hard thing to watch and very hard to deal with, my thoughts are with you, if you ever need to talk message me :bouquet:
We are just taking it one day at a time, OH has good days and bad days, his voice is getting stronger, his sense of humour is coming back, but he is very weak, half hour walk with the dogs is enough, the swallowing is proving more difficult he is again nil by mouth, he just finds it too painfull to swallow anything even with the morphene, and it sets of coughing and choking so thats a no go at the moment.
OH son is coming back up at the week end so we can all go to the review together next wednesday, that will be the biggy, really want to go and hear how everything is but i dont want to go either if that makes any sense, i just want this all over now, its bloody awful :bouquet:
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Hard to get enough strength to cope with it all, animals help keep you both going!!!! we are all sending some strength via the internet!!!!
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I really hope the review holds good news for your husband - anyone who goes through that treatment deserves to hear that its working for them.
Sending you lots of good vibes that all will be well.