The Accidental Smallholder Forum
Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: Helencus on February 27, 2011, 08:21:34 pm
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Well today was the day we decided to wean the piglets as the girls are losing too much weight and the babies are big and eating plenty of hard feed. It was a real challenge dividing up the pen making sure fence was in place when said fence had to go through calf deep mud along with barbed wire then electric rope etc. Had to go in place. It took 4 hrs to do and when done the electric rope in the girls pen didn't work... So there I am in and out of the pen desperately trying to sort it out with hubby going mad at me as this is not his dream it's mine .. Yah de yah same tired story.. Then it happened.. I slipped in the mud in the gateway and I heard my ankle snap as I landed. I soldiered on and we finished re doing the electric rope and I actually managed to keep walking for about half an hour til we got it sorted but knew it was bad so got hubby to take me to a&e.
So my ankle is broken will not be able to even walk for 6 weeks drive for 8 and can't ride for at least 4 months. I'm self employed so if I can't work then no money coming in.. To cap it all hubby says that's it I'm to sell all of the pigs as he's had enough.. I so didn't need that as well. Really really crap day..
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Oh Helen, I really feel for you!
Do you not have a kindly neighbour/friend/family who could help out for a while?
Maybe hubby will calm down by tomorrow.
Hugs to you.
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sorry your day has been crap
hope you can find away to keep the pigs etc.
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Oh, Helen, so sorry you've had such a miserable day. :bouquet:
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Any TASers in Leicestershire who could give Helen a hand?
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im half an hour away and not had much experience with pigs, i like tickleing them mainly :-)
but if a days help mucking out or cleaning up at some point would help let me know its yours for free if i get to coo and goo at some piggies for a bit!!!
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There you are Helen - TAS to the rescue - any more TASers able to help?
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I'm just too far away sadly !
Helen, oh honey :-* :-* :-*
Thing's will seem better in the morning once everyone's calmed down a wee bit, and in time you'll probably both be able to laugh about today, maybe ?
I don't know what else to say, but you're in my thoughts,
Lots of virtual hugs, kisses and sympathy heading your way from me,
Take care, Karen xxx
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Hi Helen,
Trust me i know what you are going through a week before xmas i broke my foot(i know its not quite the same) was in plaster for 6 weeks,luckly now out of plaster but still hobbling at times,my OH wanted to get rid of our animals but i wouldnt give in,my neighbours children came and looked after the animals,hopefully tomorrow fresh day he will be different,dont give up hope is the best advice i can you where theres a will theres a way, i was told will be 6 weeks till you can drive and couple of months before riding,i was back full time with the animals from week 2, driving with the cast on after 3 weeks and the day the cast came off was back in saddle.
Karen
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oh Helen, how awful. Hugs coming your way....
Let your husband calm down, and remind him he married YOU and all that that means (ie a pig - lover!)
I'm going to ask my relatives in-law who are nearer you if they could help out....
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wishing you all the very best, i hope things calm down for you in a day or so, i.e OH
would a bottle of whisky, chocs, the full use of the tv remote for a week or two bring him round??
keeping everything crossed for you :hshoe: :bouquet: :wave:
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Thanks all, as ever my TAS friends are there when I need them. What can I say thank you so much for the offers of help but I think my dad is going to come up every day to help out. He's why I wanted this life .. Many years growing up listening to quotes from animal husbandry books and watching the good life.
Gotta say today it ain't so good. Makes me sigh everytime someone says we live the good life, yes it is to a degree but it's darn hard work as we all know and days like today do make you question why bother?
Tomorrow is another day and maybe hubby will relent but it was me or the pigs time .. Mind right now I may just choose the pigs..
Thanks again all your support really helps.
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Oh Helen! So sorry to hear all that. It sounds like it's going to be a rough ride for you for a while, but do hang in there. Whatever you do, don't let go of your dreams :pig: :pig: :pig:.
Yours in sympathy, Mr & Mrs Womble, and Kellogg :chook:.
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You must be shattered, after reading all you've been through today I bet you are also at a low point, well it will soon past and good will come of it. You could have done the same even if you din't have pigs so don't let you OH blame them...its the rain thats to blame.....farmers and smallholders end up tough as they must be the most frequent visitors to A&E apart from small children and drunks!!!! ;) Hope you get loads of help and think of things that need doing while resting, bookwork, web site, planning etc!!
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pm'ed you
(twice! duh!)
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If I was closer, I would come to help. So sorry to hear about your woes. Stick with it, in 5 years, you'll probably have a good laugh about today.
Hope everything turns out and my thoughts are with you :bouquet:
Ian
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Sorry about your accident. I have just had my husband shouting at me to rid my goats, as he is fed up of them wrecking sheds, fences etc......this followed a nanny goat on the field shelter roof. Unfortunately he does not share my dream of smallholding, and the only animal he is interested in is a horse, and then only if it does carriage driviing.
I have struggled for the past 7 weeks with my discolated finger, and its still not good enough for me to ride. Your ankle is obviously a lot worse. I do hope you can get some help, and once that is sorted, things will seem a little better.
Sorry I am not nearer as I would offer to help.
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oh helen, what a shame & you are so brave to have kept going with a broken ankle. so many of us would help if we only could but me yhinks fife to leicester is just a wee bit far! hope guestimates are wrong & you are up and about sooner rather than later. enjoy the time to make plans....there's never enough time to sit & make plans :)
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Thanks guys I am feeling really low so appreciate all the virtual hugs and kind words. I just feel so damn defeated I can't put any weight at all on my left ankle so am virtually Immobile! God knows how I'm going to even get to the loo on my own tomorrow.. I so didn't need this how the heck do I sell 20 piglets when I can't get out the house .. Bugger bugger bugger..
Tomorrow is another day.. I'll keep saying it probably all night as I can't sleep cause of the pain..
Sorry feeling really sorry for myself, I'll bounce back tomorrow no doubt..
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heken, can you do yourself a website? maybe youcan sell the piglets via the wonders of the internet?
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I've no clue egglady but my lads friend can. I'll see if he can help. Thanks for the idea.
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getting about indoors on one leg is ok if you use a crutch . If you didn't get one from the hospital ? you could use a broom if you aren't too tall for one. I have done that and I am 5'9" . Felt a bit of a div but it got me about . Outside you really need a good pair of crutches , either under arm ones or the modern clip round the arm type .
The first week is the worst , it gets a bit easier after that as you get used to hopping about and using the crutches. Last time I did my ankle I also did both my wrists , not good for getting about . Even worse when you need a pee !!! :o ::)
I dread the thought of breaking an ankle now , as I have to walk 6 miles everyday to the land , and then feed the horses in ankle deep mud.
November 09 I ripped the tendon off of the outside of my left knee . It coincided with the haylage being delivered at the top of my track, due to snow, 350 yards from where I feed the horses . That meant in total another 3 miles of walking backwards and forwards across the track to get enough haylage . 9 miles on a leg that went where ever it wanted to go , and every step in utter agony .
It took till about May till it was ok ish again .
So try to keep off your ankle as much as possible , it will heal much faster.
Hope you feel better tomorrow , take care ...
cheers
Russ
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Hi Helencus
Sorry to hear about your plight :'(
--- good that your dad is about to help you ---" blood is thicker than water".
Chin up and be strong.
Thoughts are with you-- Tell us how you are getting on :love: :bouquet: :pig: :hshoe:
Tilly
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Hi helen, very sorry to hear of your troubles, hopefully when things calm down hubby will think differently, were in gloucestershire although its a fair treck to u i could help out on weekends if your desperate but not weekdays..............neil
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Oh Helen :(
I'm sorry I'm not any nearer or I'd come and help. Hopefully today will have given your husband a bit of distance from the events of yesterday and he'll relent somewhat and help out.
Thinking of you, and if there's anything I can do, just shout!
Dan.
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Hello Helen
SO sorry to hear about your day :( my hubby and I always have this arguement (my dream not his...) so I really feel for you.
I am in worcestershire and on a friday there's just scarlett my 4 year old and I here so we could come and help if you need us. I know nothing about pigs but with some guidance we could I am sure help!!
I have a friend who keeps pigs here if you are 100% at any point that you do need to sell, i can always ask her. but hopefully things will have calmed down today. I know tony gives me the rant when he can see I am suffering from all mly animals(except i don't see it as suffering, I see it as being tired from doing something I love!!)
take care
Lisa xx
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Thank you so much, I really appreciate all the offers of help. If the dads get stuck I may take folks up on it. My OH is helping out he just has a good moan about it. He fed all animals and put horses and chickens out but not happy at all. Im hoping he calms down soon, I think a lot of it is worry about the fact we will probably have very little income for the next few months.. Maybe a day at work away from here will help. Here's hoping.
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Your OH was just reacting to the moment. Although a broken ankle is awful, it will recover, the mud will go. Summer will come (crossed fingers). Thinking of you.
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So sorry to hear about your accident Helen. On top of everything else you must be in an awful lot of pain too. Take painkillers! Don't try to betoo much of a hero. Sometimes we all need to be a bit wimpy .
Obviously your dad's daily help is going to be your main life saver but if there's any special jobs you need help with we are in South Lincolnshire, not TOO far away so please add us to your list of volunteers.
Try to sleep and look after yourself as much as you can.
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Hi Helen,
Your Guardian angel is obiously on holiday!!!
So sorry to hear all that's happening. Have sent a PM.
Big Hugs and lots of them!
:bouquet:
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Oh Helen how i feel for you, just logged in this morning to read about your plight.
Get some Tramadol from the doc for the pain if you can its marvellous stuff. Been doen same path with my OH (its the pigs or me! >:( routine) hopefully it'll blow over and he'll calm down.wLast year i trapped my sciatic nerve and could barely move for a week and was on crutches for a while, OH had to do pig duties (not amused) this weekend have done it again but not as severely; getting the ironing board out of cupboard of all things has set it off. Haven't had one jot of sympathy, no help in feeding up and scathing comments about the mixture of painkillers i'm taking, i have tried explaining that if he gave me a hand i wouldn't need to take so many painkillers as rest is the best healer. So my dear you have my full sympathies. Keep your chin up girl, luckily its a good time of year for selling piglets so you shouldn't have much trouble.
Thinking of you.
Best Mandy & piggies x :pig:
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Hugs and best wishes, Helen! I hope it heals soon!!
So good of your dad to help out! :&>
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What a nightmare you poor thing. Thinking of you and wishing you a speedy recovery. :wave:
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Sorry to hear you are out of action thoughts are with you, Hope your OH continues to help out! Take care of yourself xx
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Thanks all feeling more positive having spoken to work as they're happy to have me back in a wheelchair so that's what I'm off to pick up now. Fingers crossed get the ok tomorrow and I'll at least be able to go back to work as dad said he'll take me. Thank god for my TAS friends and my dad eh! Can't tell you how much it means to know you all are there. Thank you :-)
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I'm so glad things are looking up today a bit. The wheelchair will be great fun once you get the hang of it, though not much help with the pigs. Once it's all hurting less things will be easier. Good old Dad :) Great you can get back to work but try to take it a bit easy too. Thinking of you. :wave:
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So sorry - only just read this post. Let me add my thoughts for speedy recovery and happy outcome to everyone else's :bouquet:
Try to look after yourself if you can
Sue
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Good luck and keep smiling, it will come out right in the end. :) :wave:
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On the hubby situation - try getting him up close and personal with the tamest of the piglets - a few scratches under the chin and tummy tickles (for the pig ;)) will maybe start to convince him that they aren't so bad after all :) Who know's maybe it'll convert him ? ;)
Karen x
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its a setback but don't give up, just rest up and come back stronger, its all experience. :)
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I always find things are worst at night and then in the morning things work themselves out. I'm sure your OH will be much happier now youv'e sorted out still being able to work, money problems always bring out the worst in people.
Hope your ankle is starting to be less painful.
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Yes he seems a bit calmer now. Fingers crossed tomorrow goes well and I'm back at work Wednesday. I even managed to get a refund for my flight to India so better day. OH still wants the pigs sold but I'll work on him and see if I can get him to relent.
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Perhaps it's the numbers of them he has a problem with. Maybe one or two might be a compromise? I know quite a few folk who run on two or three weaners at a time
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Maybe you're right Annie we have to find a compromise, that's what marriage is about. It'll all seem better in a few weeks if the ground dries up and some of the weaners are sold.
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Helen, this is the first time you have done this - there are bound to be some problems, and after four hours of sorting fences even my (usually saint of a) husband can be a bit difficult, shall we say.... However usually a good meal (pork roast!) and apple pie sort the issue and we try and chat about how to do it better next time... Even if the smallholding thing is my dream more than his, I cannot do it on my own, so we do have to compromise a lot... (otherwise I would have loads more animals!)
Maybe only running one sow in-pig at a time would reduce the stress a bit, but selling all up now would just mean you will loose colossal amounts of money (arks, fences, energisers etc etc - all the gear that you have just invested in!).
I know I shouldn't say this, but I find painkillers always work best with a few glasses of wine...
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Lol I can't drink doctors orders! Tempting though. We'll sort it. I've already said to him it's the set up that's hard and hindsight being 20/20 we should've sorted separating the pen sooner. We are constantly learning and my dad is dead keen for us to get a place where we can all live together so he can help. He'd have his own front door mind converted outbuilding perhaps. Anyway I think he'll calm down and maybe relent.. Bottom line is he does love me after all why else would a city boy put up with me :-)!
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Very sorry to hear about the ankle mishap :(
Your OH is probably really stressing on your behalf and feeling very out of sorts because he can't just fix the ankle and make you all better so he's taking his frustration out on the situation and thats the pigs et al right now.
Best of luck and hoping all gets easier ;)
Tish
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It does take a few years to get the set-up right for your holding, after all, every farm is different. We have tweaked our weaners' set-up every year in the last four, and it gets more streamlined every time. (and every year we have been told that our pigs aren't as fat as the butchers were expecting them, so still more to learn...)
I also take lots of notes to make sure I remember what worked and what didn't... but that's just my brain slowing down.
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Oh sorry to hear the news Helen. Hopefully you are feeling not so bad now. I think we all have rows like that with the other half- I think it's normally me that looses it more often! I usually get fed up of getting no help, just having him turn up when its time to leave for the show- having got himself ready (whilst I've got me, 12 goats, 2 dogs ready, packed everything, hitched on trailers/caravans etc etc!).
He will calm down I am sure.
Beth
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I'm sorry to hear about your injury. It's probably been the straw that broke the camel's back as far as your man is concerned.
People who have no real interest in livestock sometimes find it difficult to understand those who want to keep stock regardless of the work and commitment involved. If times are tough and the mud is up one's legs, it is very difficult to remain calm in the face of perceived disaster.
I wish you a speedy recovery, and a truce.
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Echoing the sentiments above, hope you are getting over your mishap. I had the same problems with my OH in the early years. He really didn't take to the physical, dirty work involved and the constant commitment at first. He kept telling me to sell the bl***y things, they're more trouble than they're worth!!! But there's no stopping him now - all he wants to do is be a farmer. It did take a while for him to come around though so be patient. You never know, in a couple of years time your OH, like mine, may be scanning the estate agents details for a fully fledged farm!!! (Just need the money now :D). All the best! :wave:
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Helen, I know just how you feel, last month I hurt my back, could not walk or stand up. My OH, instead of being understanding through a fit saying who was going to look after the ponies, chickens and ducks as he had to go to work in the morning. I am lucky, I have a lady who does animal sitting when we are on holiday also a friend who will fill in if the other person is booked up. Susan bless her was mucking out 10 horses of her own, her mothers 3 as she had a broken wrist then coming to do mine. I had to convince her to take money but she was my god send and shut up my OH. He always moans when there is fencing to do, in fact just about anything to do with working outside. the only good thing is he knows that this is the way I am, my animals make me happy, there my reason for getting up in the morning and when we had the 2 pigs he did the butchering himself, loved the pork so much that we are getting another 2 in June. Litter due April so have booked them. You only have one life, sit down with hubby and talk about how you can make things work for both of you. If it means cutting back a bit to make things easier then say you will try this but do not give up on what matters a great deal to you. Marriage is give and take not a you will do as I say. :chook: :pig: :cat: :dog: :horse: :&> :)
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Hello, I don't know if this is the thing that would suit you but you could try looking at www.helpx.net (http://www.helpx.net). People from all over the world will exchange a bed & meals for 5 to 6 hours a day's work. Unlike WWOOFers you don't have to be organic. We've used them most of last year and met some fantastic people and willing helpers. By the way you have my heartfelt sympathy, I broke my elbow a few years ago and was useless and frustrated for 6 weeks, no to mention the pain. All the best.
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I've been offline a few days so just caught up with this - hope things are settling and the pain is easing a bit now as well as OH's views ???
I reckon if you can sell some of the weaners at a decent price he might relent on the mums, like you say it's a compromise and at least if you're able to work via wheelchair he'll see you doing your best and meet you half way :)
I'm a bit far to offer help aswell as clueless about pigs ::) but I've a friend who has horses on livery at an organic veg farm that rear piglets occasionally in Leicestershire so they might know someone if not interested themselves - I don't know what info they need but I'm happy to pass it on if you have an ad?
Meantime you can also get those indoor jobs updated while you're resting - accounts, seed orders, invoices paid, plans, web info, marketing leaflets, any calls you hadn't time to make etc and look at drawing up a plan to change your pig organisation while you're at it so you can show OH how you plan to avoid future problems ;)
Best of luck :)
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Thanks some very good advice. OH and I had a nice long chat on the way to hospital today and he's calmer about it all now. We've agreed what we need to do is make sure we get proper pig stys built for the winter and concrete pens and hardcore down with walkways etc. His ideas too. He knows this is really important to me he's just tired of endless stock fencing and building pig arcs!
The set up is the hardest part once it's all done he will be bored.
So another better day, no operation needed on my ankle and hubby willing to help to make it easier so were not having to wade in mud. I've said we'll breed 1 at a time and I'll sell all but 2 of the weaners if I can to scale back plus no more animals for now.
So harmony restored at least until the next lot of fencing needs doing :-))
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Oh I'm so pleased for you Helen - a very positive post today. :love: Your husband was obviously worried about you, about the state of things on the ground, and about money too probably. From here on in it will get better and better. xx
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That sounds a lot more positive - great news and permanent pig housing is a real commitment too ;D
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glad it seems less tough today Helen.
but seriously, give J's cousin a ring, she is literally just down the road from you and said straight away she'd love to help!
wishing you a speedy recovery :wave:
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Lifes ups and downs :o When we have somthing traumatic happen, some people get naturaly agressive, blameing whatevers around, when the dust settles, you can see things a bit clearer, so glad you are both being sensible about things and finding ways to help you both!!!!