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Author Topic: Pet letter  (Read 3322 times)


  • Joined Oct 2010
Pet letter
« on: June 16, 2011, 11:33:04 pm »
 Just found this made me smile  ;D
 Pet Letter

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however.... Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom!  If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first,then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:


(1) They live here. You don't.

(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it


(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they

(1) eat less, 

(2) don't ask for money all the time,

(3) are easier to train,

(4) normally come when called,

(5) never ask to drive the car,

(6) don't  hang out with drug-using people;

(7) don't smoke or drink,

(8) don't  want to wear your clothes,

(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions, 

(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and

(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
Labradors leave foot prints on your heart as well as your clothes


  • Joined Mar 2009
  • Devon - EX39 5RF
    • Ford Mill Farm
Re: Pet letter
« Reply #1 on: June 17, 2011, 05:34:19 am »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Pedigree GOS Pigs and Butchery for Smallholders.


  • Joined Oct 2007
  • Barry, Angus, Scotland
    • The Accidental Smallholder
Re: Pet letter
« Reply #2 on: June 17, 2011, 08:08:59 am »
Seen it before but still funny. And true  ;D ;D ;D


  • Joined Aug 2010
  • Cairngorms
  • take it easy and chill
    • blaemuir cottage
Re: Pet letter
« Reply #3 on: June 17, 2011, 09:52:29 am »
thats brill  :wave:


  • Guest
Re: Pet letter
« Reply #4 on: June 17, 2011, 10:22:58 am »
 ;D So true, and I have read it before but due to a memory like a fish could not remember it anyway so its all fresh and funny to me, thanks  ;D


  • Joined Feb 2011
  • Cornwall
  • Rarely short of an opinion but I mean well
    • Trelay Cohousing Community
Re: Pet letter
« Reply #5 on: June 17, 2011, 04:32:39 pm »
;D So true, and I have read it before but due to a memory like a fish could not remember it anyway so its all fresh and funny to me, thanks  ;D

Me too!  Thanks for posting.   :D
Don't listen to the money men - they know the price of everything and the value of nothing

Live in a cohousing community with small farm for our own use.  Dairy cows (rearing their own calves for beef), pigs, sheep for meat and fleece, ducks and hens for eggs, veg and fruit growing


  • Joined Aug 2012
  • Cumbria/N Yorks border
Re: Pet letter
« Reply #6 on: June 17, 2011, 06:31:14 pm »


  • Joined Feb 2010
  • Llanidloes; Powys
Re: Pet letter
« Reply #7 on: June 17, 2011, 06:56:42 pm »
Oh that's LOVELY. Thankyou so much  :D :D :D
We do the best we can with the information we have

When we know better we do better


  • Joined Mar 2011
Re: Pet letter
« Reply #8 on: June 19, 2011, 07:48:34 am »
This was new to me and made my morning. Thanks ;D ;D ;D


  • Joined Sep 2010
    • just left of the 20th century
Re: Pet letter
« Reply #9 on: June 19, 2011, 07:58:57 am »
read it before but still makes me giggle every time..i want it on my front door!!! ;D ;D ;D
'can't rain all the time!'



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