The Accidental Smallholder Forum

Community => Coffee Lounge => Topic started by: sabrina on October 31, 2021, 03:09:19 pm

Title: How to get help.
Post by: sabrina on October 31, 2021, 03:09:19 pm
My 90 year old mother lives in Wishaw. During the summer she spent almost a month in hospital brought on by not taking her medication. We were told another week and it would have been too late. Doctors wanted a care package in place for her coming home but that never happened. Her mind is not what it was, she forgets things , not able to cook but she can make herself a cup of tea which was the one thing Home Support were interested in. i sorted out getting Wiltshire Foods to deliver meals but she does not always eat a proper meal some days. I have went down for a week every month over the summer but after this November I can't manage as the animals are in and I am needed here. What to do on getting help for my mum. It is a long winter for her to be on her own, not going out. There is the problem with shopping as the stores have a limited spend and mum does not spend that much most weeks. My brothers and myself have just bought her a walking frame which is fine for good days but not the winter.
Title: Re: How to get help.
Post by: landroverroy on October 31, 2021, 03:33:22 pm
You need to get in touch with her local Adult Social Services and explain the problem. Hopefully they will be helpful and arrange for someone to come in at least daily, which she obviously needs. If they start making excuses then start explaining again how important it is and do not put the phone down until they have agreed to do something.
 You need to totally over exaggerate the situation and ask for the name of the person you are dealing with, if you aren't getting anywhere. Then tell her you have recorded her name and will hold her personally responsible if your mother is found dead. Personal responsibility often works wonders, Good luck.
Title: Re: How to get help.
Post by: arobwk on October 31, 2021, 03:42:21 pm
Both my parents have had Care packages in more recent times.  Unfortunately I cannot reliably relate how it all works as 2 of my sisters took the lead on that front. For father, his Doctor arranged for Continuing Health Care on the NHS due his terminal condition (since passed away):  for my mother a means-testable Care package was arranged between the hospital (after her stroke) and the local authority via some sort of integration team (?).
Your mother's doctor/health centre should be able to advise, but Age UK will also be able to offer guidance on the process.

Other TASers might be able to offer more detailed advice, but good luck.
Title: Re: How to get help.
Post by: doganjo on October 31, 2021, 03:50:17 pm
When contacting the care authorities you should emphasise that it is actually significantly cheaper for a care package to be put in place, even a 24hour, 7 day one, than for the NHS to have her permanently in hospital or a nursing home.

Care of the elderly and infirm is still free in Scotland.

If you don't have success as others have suggested try AgeUk -
Title: Re: How to get help.
Post by: arobwk on October 31, 2021, 05:07:34 pm
(I forgot that arrangements in Scotland are an exception to the rest of the UK. My previous general comments obviously irrelevant.) 
Title: Re: How to get help.
Post by: Bywaters on November 01, 2021, 05:01:17 pm
My experience of my MiL is a bit sobering - it was only when she fell and was admitted to hospital that "we " - the family - realised that she have been kidding us for a couple of years in that she wasn't eating, hadn't been to a doctor properly for 15 months (I'm fine !!) etc etc
It was realised that she couldn't care for herself so the 3 sisters took it in turns to staty with her, a week at a time until it got too much. Some respite care was arranged in a care home near 2 of the sisters who visited her every day
The respite became permanent as vascular dimentia was diagnosed
The last 18 months of her life were full of activity, visits, trips out, always someone to talk to.

Unfortunately, one of the aspects of the dimentia is that the hunger is dampened or even disappears and despite the care staff feeding her, getting special drinks  and whatever else, she passed away at 91.
But, as I said the last 18 months were far better than the previous

I'm not suggesting that your mum is going through the same, but it is hard to look after an elderly relative esp when they tell you all is well
Hope things get sorted out with care package and whatever else can be sorted