I promised to explain more about the way in which your original post was disrespectful toward your wife, and I will try to do so here. I will also point out that the manner in which you wrote the post was generally insulting to women.
The story is about how your sheep got fly strike. It begins with this sentence:
“My pet sheep have 15 acres of hillside between the four of them 'cos wifey thinks restaining them to just the 10-acre field is cruel. She's nuts of course.”
This first sentence sets up reason the sheep went unnoticed. The blame will soon be placed squarely on your wife for putting a small number of sheep in a large enclosure, making it difficult to find them. The sentence makes clear to the reader that the cause of the problem originates with your wife's poor judgment.
You write “restaining” but I am sure that is a typo for “restraining”. This verb is used to emphasize the extent of her poor judgment. To imagine that 10 acres would “restrain” that few sheep is silly, so your wife is made to look silly. In case the reader does not pick up on this notion, you underscore the problem by saying “She is nuts.”
Being called “wifey” is a diminutive. I would not allow myself to be called “wifey” but it is possible you see it as an endearment. So, we’ll leave that aside for now.
You then go on to write this:
"Wifey is hopeless at holding sheep and I have arthritic back problems and not as fit as I used to be so instead of arguing her into helping me shear Twiglet i let it slide."
So, not only has your wife’s poor judgment in pasturing four sheep caused you to overlook one, she is also not good at handling them. Her handling them is so “hopeless” you decided not to examine a sheep you thought might need further investigation for possible flystrike.
The sentence also makes evident that you would have liked to examine the sheep but did not think it was worth “arguing her into helping”. The statement makes you appear long-suffering in your willingness to forgo examining the sheep in order to avoid arguing. You place all blame on your wife.
You then write that the condition of the sheep became so poor that not even your wife prevented you from taking the actions you wanted to take from the outset. Again, you take on the role of the long-suffering husband, writing as follows:
"Yesterday Twiglet was a mess. She actually used the sheep shelter we call Gray's Inn for shade...flies buzzing everywhere so at least there was no argument from wifey."
To me, this makes it clear that your wife is an argumentative person who you have to work around. Twiglet was in such a mess that your wife did not argue this time, but the implication is that she usually would argue. You are finally able to do what you had wanted to all along (attend to the sick sheep) as your wife no longer presents the obstacles described earlier in the post.
Now, you feel I’ve insulted you for pointing out the ways in which you blamed and ridiculed your wife in this post. You feel it is “PC gone mad!”.
I would like to point out that your post was also full of politics. Your politics may not sound mad to you, but to me they sound very objectionable .
The term, “wifey” , may be an endearment to you, but the term also generalized your insults toward “the wife”, who could be any wife, and she is described so ungenerously, in turns as “nuts” as one who unnecessarily argues and who is incompetent (“hopeless”).
In a further post you write, “I suppose hubby is also banned”. You may have written this because you assume that the only problem with the post was the word “wifey”. But as you can see, that is not the case.
Very little speech is “banned”. You can write posts that some people will find insulting toward your wife—there is no law against that.
However, you may receive a response like mine in return. Free speech works both directions. My response is as a woman who found the persistent ridicule of your wife unnecessary and insulting. It was disrespectful to her, specifically, but also to women generally. That is why I felt demeaned and ridiculed reading. It reminded me of those old stand-up comics who used to tell wife jokes on stage and I pointed out that the story could have been told without so much ridicule and blame. You may have thought it was funny, but to me it was insulting and sexist.
Other people will have a different view. Some women have bought into the idea that men can insult them with impunity. They just roll their eyes and look away. They may have grown so used to it they don’t even notice anymore. To them, the notion that women will be ridiculed has become a fact of life.
Again, I wish you and your family the best. I hope your sheep thrive. I don’t wish any ill upon you at all. It may be worth reviewing your language in your post and just asking whether it was necessary to write it as you did. I think you know it was insulting and are just angry that someone pointed it out. You also know it was easy to write the story without insulting anyone. In fact, you conclude the story of Twiglet in a manner that seems to be about caring toward your sheep, not ridiculing another person. I hope Twiglet makes a full recovery!
Marti
