[landroverroy]

 
[/quote]

In which case forget the seat and use a stool
[/quote]

Possibly an unfortunate choice of words?

[Womble]

Great ideas so far folks - I especially like the idea of flush-mounted magnets  .

As said either a new carefully selected seat or some fiddling about to alter the one you have. However tightening the hinge pins too much will result in the seat not closing.

That's the weird thing - there's no access to the hinge pins from either side of them. Perhaps they come apart if unscrewed from the seat, but I think it more likely that they're sealed units.

BTW people, how dare you laugh at my predicament?  This is a serious discussion forum don't you know? 

[angie]

Off course it is 

[pharnorth]

Our good friends invited us around last week to allow us to admire their new high tech lounge which has multiple 'mood' setting lighting and curtains that open and shut at the press of a button or from the iPad. I did suggest they just sent me the codes and I could play with the curtains without bothering to drive over....anyway I good bottle of wine was involved so it was worth the trip.

There is some sense in this madness as they can get all this working as if they were at home when Mr Burglar looks in when they are on holiday

So Womble, therein lies the answer, a computer controlled loo seat and flush, or controlled by a sensor on your ingress and egress.

Alternatively, I found last time I replaced my loo seat B&Q do about 12 types with slightly different fittings, different offset of the hinge and bolts to where the seat flips are needed for different loos so I suspect you have the wrong seat for your bowl & cistern. 

[Rupert the bear]

BTW people, how dare you laugh at my predicament?  This is a serious discussion forum don't you know? 

No one is taking the P...     honest , how about a bungee cord to hold it in place ?

[waterbuffalofarmer]

I hate to laugh at other people's expense, but thank you for cheering me up today [member=2128]Womble[/member] I really do appreciate it!    Hope you get the problem sorted soon! Sorry I can't help

[Womble]

how about a bungee cord to hold it in place ?

What? To free up my hands so I can hold the toilet seat up? I guess that might work! 

[SallyintNorth]

how about a bungee cord to hold it in place ?

What? To free up my hands so I can hold the toilet seat up? I guess that might work! 

Best yet.  I keep thinking of other consequences... 

[up4it]

You could always add a urinal!

[Big Light]

Loop a bit o binder twine round the seat and put up a picture hook to hold it up 

[Rupert the bear]

Loop a bit o binder twine round the seat and put up a picture hook to hold it up 

There speaks a true farmer , baler twine the fix it all solution

[PK]

Just seen this thread, and Womble I recognise the problem exactly as it happened to me when I replaced our toilet seat. I tried many of the solutions suggested (admittedly not the baler twine nor bungee cords) and nothing worked. What I found was that if you are standing doing a pee, I positioned myself at 8 o'clock facing the bowl with a slight flexion of the knees, and used my left knee to prop the toilet seat up. I am 6 foot tall, so if you are shorter you may need to try it at 9 o'clock. With experience it is easy to calibrate. The problem was only resolved when we moved house on 15.10.14.

[Rupert the bear]

......at 8 o'clock.......... try it at 9 o'clock, maybe thats ok for you but sometimes I need to pee at 2am , what position should I assume 

[Womble]

Sorry folks, I'm a bloke.  By the time I've remembered to face in the correct direction, flexion my knees, calibrate the trajectory........ I'll have forgotten what I'm doing, and the damn seat will hit me in the nuts again!  .

[Daisys Mum]

Duck tape!