Timing it never works for me. I use the bit on a cold plate approach, which at least provides something to lick.
Another clue is that the volume reduces, I think it's by 2/5ths, but I couldn't swear to that, as I don't use that method. You stand a stick, or the stirring spoon upright in the pot, after marking the initial level.
Another check is a change of colour - the jam/jelly goes slightly darker as it reaches setting point. It also bubbles slightly differently.
Make sure you are boiling hot enough - there should be a 'rolling boil', not just a few blops, but not so much it rises right up the pan. You need a wide jelly pan for jam making, a taller narrow pot is not ideal.
If your jelly or jam is too runny, then tip it all back in the pot and boil it a bit more.
If it's gone syrupy, then use it on ice cream.