Couldn't have put it better myself, trish
Yes, I would try to wash the teats with warm soapy water, making them slippery (and clean), then try milking them yourself. She may not be dropping the milk, she may even still have the plugs in the ends of the teats.
I'm surprised the vet didn't check her milk - and then milk her for colostrum and show you how to do that, but never mind.
To milk her, close the thumb and forefinger around the base of the test, as close to the udder as you can. You should feel the teat below your encircling fingers as engorged - at the beginning, it may not, if she hasn't dropped the milk yet.
When the teat is engorged, you just need to apply gentle pressure with the other fingers - while keeping your grip at the base, you don't want to squirt milk back up into the udder, you can damage her that way - and the milk should squirt out.
Until the milk starts to flow, you may have to squeeze more, however, but do make sure you are stopping any milk that is in the teat from returning to the udder. Books describe closing your fingers down the teat like a wave - you have the forefinger already tightly around, next close the second finger, then the third, finally the fourth; the milk goes ahead of your closing fingers and comes out the end.
You shouldn't need to pull at all, and even if you need to squeeze a bit, you shouldn't need a great deal of pressure.
It can help to massage the udder, the prewash with warm soapy water helps too, and you can also mimic the pushing of the calf's head up under the udder.
Once the milk does start to flow, you should need a lot less pressure to get it to expel, and you should have much better luck getting the calf latched on. Get your milky fingers in his mouth and lead him to the teat; if he doesn't latch on, squirt a bit in his mouth.
